My Dilemma: How to celebrate our birthday

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I have discussed about frienemies in mylot. Anyways, well, my frienemy and I share the same birthday. In so many ways, she used to emphasize and highlight our differences when we were still working together. I mean, she would often tell me that I was this so and so girl while she's this kind of girl. Last night, we chatted online and she brought up the idea of me and her celebrating our birthdays in the orphanage. I really have no objection. I mean, it could be really meaningful, but I think, the celebration means more a lot to her than I do. I still am finding in my heart how to celebrate my birthday. I have been pretty used to the fact that my birthday would mean spending time with my siblings. So going back, I really want to share something to those who are not so lucky as me... I mean, it's a matter of pay it forward thing you know, but I am searching deep in my heart if it's something I want to do. The celebration in the orphanage is so noble, but why am I having a hard time finding the meaning or the wanting of doing it in my heart. I am just sharing! SIGH!