How can a female soldier does her responsibility as a wife and as a mother?

Philippines
December 3, 2007 2:52am CST
I graduated from a premiere military institution of our country. After a year, I got married with my classmate also a soldier. I am really very thankful with God because we were assigned in one unit. By being together in one place, I am very glad that I can do my responsibility as a wife to my husband because he's not away from me. I can iron his clothes,prepare his food and other pampering that a wife can do. I can also take good care of my young children because they are just few meters from my work. unlike any other female soldiers who are away from their family. I have to make the most of it because a year from now we will be assigned to diffrent unit and I know I can't greatly perform being a wife and a mother to my loveones as i will be away form them.
3 people like this
7 responses
• United States
3 Dec 07
I can only hope you and the family work this out. This is something I could never do. So it's really hard to tell another how to handle it. I will say get the kids a baby cam if possible. This will be your only true way to know how they are doing. you don't have to tell anyone you have it. My friend went to the service after high school. She met and married her man there. They have 3 daughters and she is a preacher now. They wanted to send her to China alone. She could not leave her kids that long. She is now out of the service and the husband is in it. It worked out fine for her. I was so happy to see her last year. Do what is best for you and your family. God bless
1 person likes this
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
3 Dec 07
Your a soldier first but I understand nothing is more important then family. Tough problem but you need to decide one or the other. If I were in your shoes I wouldnt know what to do.
1 person likes this
@sephrenia (567)
3 Dec 07
As you are both in the military i'm sure that your husband understands that there will be times when you just won't be able to be together. I get the feeling from your post that it is you rather than your husband who will have the most problems adjusting to not being near each other. Maybe you can talk to your husband about how you feel about him not being near you and see what he says about it. Also, maybe you can start adjusting your routines so that you get used to the idea that you won't be cooking for him or sorting his kit out on a daily basis and what have you. That way when the assignments happen, it won't be so hard for you. That's just my thoughts on the matter, hope it helps!
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3805)
• United States
4 Dec 07
When I was in the Navy, I married a sailor from my ship. Once the Commander found out, he had me shipped somewhere else because I had less time in. So you are very lucky to get this time with him. Don't pamper him to much or he will always expect that from you, lol. My mom always said don't let a man see what you can do that he can also do for himself. Once he see's that you do it, then there won't be no need for him to do it anymore. I got out of the Navy before my daughter was born, and I regret it so much. I miss it so much even to this day. Marriage is about sharing everything, if your job takes you further away from home. He will have to step up and take over some of the duties. I can't count the military men that did this, and I can't imagine how many men that will do this in the future. Most of all, God Bless you and your husband both for being in the military no matter what branch your in. If it wasn't for people like you and your husband, I couldn't sit here and write like I can without being told what I can or can't write. I pray that neither of you are ever deployed
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
4 Dec 07
"My mom always said don't let a man see what you can do that he can also do for himself. Once he see's that you do it, then there won't be no need for him to do it anymore. " This is great advice. Men should definitely pull their own weight in the house and not expect to be waited on hand and foot, something I'm trying to get across to my boyfriend with little success.
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
4 Dec 07
You do what you can and work together as team not one person doing the majority of the work, that's not fair. You have to work out a schedule that's going to be fair to both of you.
@Ohara_1983 (4120)
• Kuwait
4 Dec 07
You need to decide which one is better to you & your family, because you are soldier and they will put you anywhere in the world, so you will miss them all, but just think that because of your family you that job fot thier future, leave your husband because m,an can stay anyway even thier wife is far from them. you must talk to your self & to your husband what is good for booth of you. Wish you all the best.
• India
4 Dec 07
Any profession requires your complete attention coz whoever is paying you expects your full commitment in turn. Whether you are a soldier, doctor, lawyer, engineer or simple office staff, once you are in duty, you should leave your family behind. You should never mix profession with personal life and this is specially true for women, coz say whatever, we women do tend to take advantage of our position as mother and wife. This is one major reason why women have not been able to break the glass barrier in their careers. Babies I would leave out of this coz they are innocent angels whom we bring into this world by our own choice, but men (our husbands) should be more understanding and should not expect the wife to be the dutiful in this age of progress. Women should also contribute in changing the perspective by not always behaving like the dutiful wife and should also bring up their own children with equal values for both boys and girls.