Why are mothers so competitive?

I think alot of mothers can be this way. I try very hard not to...as I know it's never fun to be on the other side, realizing that your kid doesn't quite measure up. I think parents (especially mothers) feel like their kids are a 'progress report' of sorts, on how well they are doing as a parent, and in order to let others know that they are quite competent, mothers walk around boasting at what they have "done" (: also, an even more disturbing trend is that many mothers feel like that if there child doesn't do exactly what the neighbor's kid can do, there either must be something wrong with the child, or with the parent.. and they try to fix something, that isn't broken. making themselves, and their children frustrated and upset. Comparing children is never a good idea, because early skills are rarely an actual indication of genius or a higher intelligent child, it just means that the child was ready for it at that time. Most people assume that if a child can recognize his abc's early, that he must be genius, or if he learns his body parts early, he's gifted, but really, it usually just means mom and dad spent some extra time with him and He WANTED to learn that. I can try to teach my son piano all i want, but he's not interested (he's 15 months old) his older brother LONGS to learn, and will throw a major tantrum if he doesn't get school time, because of his longing to learn things, he is more advanced than other children his age, I of course was available to teach him, but it has much less to do with me, than his drive to learn. I think parents get hung up on that too much, and someone walking around gloating "look what my kid can do better than yours" certainly doesn't help.

fortunately, I have friends who don't boast and that are supportive and helpful when I have questions or concerns. It IS hard to find humble mothers. And I have to agree that sometimes it does seem like a competition on how's 'parenting' better. I ignore mothers like that and go on with my life and most importantly try to do the best for my child.

Each child is different and each mother is different. I've been a kindergarten teacher and I know quite a bit of problems that mothers have. I don't judge a child or the mother based on what the child does or doesn't do. But when I do think to myself when I see that there is absolutely no effort on the mother's (or even the father's) part to correct a mistake that the child is doing. Usually, I try to talk to them about it (they probably are not aware of what to do)...but even after that when I find that they are not responding, I try to do the best I can for the child. I can understand mistakes (we all make them...I've got 2 kids myself and know how hard it is to be an ideal mother and we all slip up sometimes). But not being bothered about how a child is shaping as an individual..that gets to me. But I'm all for being supportive and being there for each other. I had a friend who would lose her cool and take out her anger on her then 4 year old daughter. Even though she was trying, she couldn't control herself. So, we figured out a way....everytime she would go into a rage, she would call me up and I would bring her daughter over to my place till she cooled down.

I think life in general has become more and more competitive - jobs, sports, poilitics, business. As a result there's more pressure for kids to become either geniuses or athletic superstars. So naturally the parents themselves have become so competitive as well. But I don't think abilities at such an early age are the indicators of the future success of that child.

I know what you mean. There is a lot of competition between most mothers. It drives me crazy! My son didn't start walking till he was, well till last week :-P (16 months). Now he is walking like crazy. It hasn't been that long since he started really trying to communicate and learn new words. It has nothing to do with how much time I spend with him, but how much he wants to do those things. It's worse. I live with my mom who thinks she was the best parent in the world. She tells me that she used to spend three or more hours a day working with me so that I could learn my colors, abc's, reading and all of that. However, some of her stories contradict themselves. Um...she worked, I had a nanny. My dad supposedly took care of me while she made dinner, cleaned, and such because dad could only do one thing at a time...But she is constantly making me feel looked down upon because she thinks that because I am a stay at home mother and housewife I should spend his every waking moment teaching him something. It doesn't matter that I am working on bringing in an income from working online... Sorry...I feel frustrated too!