Can You Spend Time Alone?

@slickcut (8141)
United States
December 10, 2007 2:22am CST
This may seem like a weird discussion but let me explain.Have you ever known someone who hates to be alone?I am married now but i was alone for awhile,i stayed home and did the normal things people do.I did not run all over looking to go someplace or find someone to be with.I know of a few people that are not married or in a relationship and they hate to be alone,they always have to be with someone all the time.My Mom was like this also.I have never been that way ,oh i would get lonely sometimes and i would go places but i never hated coming home alone..I could always find something to do to keep busy..So are you able to stay alone? or do you always have to be with someone? If you are single to you spend time alone?I think it is a little silly to constantly want to be with someone..What do you think about this? How do you feel?
8 people like this
27 responses
• United States
10 Dec 07
I don't mind doing things alone. Infact, I like being alone sometimes. I know a few people that hate being alone and take it out on everyone else which really is annoying. If they don't get all the attention they think they deserve, they call themseles lonely and make it everyone elses fault when they refuse to talk to people. It's annoying, and sad.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
yes i know a few people like this too, and thats why i opened this discussion to find out if i was the only one who felt that it was wrong to be bugged by people who cannot be alone.They are lonely and they want you to constantly be their companion, even if you have a husband they want all of your time,and they feel sorry for themselves if they have to be alone for a second.They even do all kinds of things just to keep from going home, because they are not comfortable being alone for any length of time.It is annoying and sad and i wonder what these people will do if they are ever in the postion that they cannot run the streets ....
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
yes i know a few people like this too, and thats why i opened this discussion to find out if i was the only one who felt that it was wrong to be bugged by people who cannot be alone.They are lonely and they want you to constantly be their companion, even if you have a husband they want all of your time,and they feel sorry for themselves if they have to be alone for a second.They even do all kinds of things just to keep from going home, because they are not comfortable being alone for any length of time.It is annoying and sad and i wonder what these people will do if they are ever in the postion that they cannot run the streets ....
• United States
11 Dec 07
I think most people don't like to be alone - especially going to movies or dinner. Sometimes when traveling for work, I would just get in and not have anyone to go to dinner with and it would be weird. I do actually prefer shopping alone for clothes or groceries.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I also enjoy company when i go out to eat and i also enjoy company when going to a move these times are nice to be with a friend, but i notice that when you shop you shop alone,and i do too.There are times when you enjoy being with a friend.I have these times too.I am talking about people who cannot stand to be alone at anytime.They are so lonely that they cannot function without someone with them all the time, they are always looking for someone to fill their time, because they hate being by themselves at any time.
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I can spend time alone but would rather it be hours than days. I like a little alone time to myself, but for the most part I would rather be with friends and family. I never stay at home when I husband deploys for that reason. I was here only 3 days before I went back to be with my family the last time he left.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
well that is nice to spend time with family.I use to be that way but as i am older i have learned to really enjoy my alone time.
@bicklelady (1411)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I love to be alone. I love to be with my family, but time alone is when I can do anything I want. When I am with my family, I am usually doing something for them. (Which I don't mind at all). My son is leaving Jan 29 to go to boot camp. Now him not being around really scares me. My doc said it is the empty nest syndrom.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
i had empty nest syndrom when my last daughter got married, it was loney for a while but i soon snapped right back to normal.You will get busy doing things and staying busy and before you know it you will be better,you still miss them but you learn to fill up your days..
• United States
10 Dec 07
i love being alone it gives me time to do anything i want i can get freaky or just be silly when i am with people i still get a little crazy but it breaks the monotony i only socialize with people if i get bored i am really content being alone but u are never really alone god is there so u can always talk to him i have pets as companions they are just as good. i always am alone unless people come by but i always make them call first in case i am not in the mood to deal with peoples bs
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
That is good it means that you are comfortable with your own company.I feel the same way you do.I have never been able to make people call as yet but it is a good idea,just in case you feel like you are not in the mood.
1 person likes this
@Grandmaof2 (7603)
• Canada
10 Dec 07
I would do well on my own that's for sure. I'm never a person to be lonely only because I believe there's no need to be. My husband on the other hand can not stand to be on his own for five minutes. He says that's the reason he got married so he didn't have to do anything alone again. Oh Brother :-(
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I am like you grandmaof2, i could do well on my own as well.I have been on my own before and it did not bother me, yes sometimes you might get lonely but you can always go see someone for awhile and then come home.I am married now and i would hate to have anything happen to my hubby (God forbid) but if i had to be on my own i could do so without running the streets looking for companionship, or going somewhere all the time and have to be gone constantly to keep from being alone..men are differant, they cannot entertain themselves...
1 person likes this
@makatas (1101)
• Greece
10 Dec 07
I like staying alone but for short periods of time.Everyone needs his break, i enjoy staying alone for a week or so, but after a while it becomes rather lonely.I can find many things to do, that isnt the problem. Its just that you need someone to say a word and you cant have him.Of course, if friends are available even that can be fixed. It is silly if you wanna have everyone next to you all the time, but loneliness is a problem after a while...
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I agree with you. i think that it is silly to have to be with someone, anyone 24/7..I am not talking about people in a realtionship all together,but to those that are not in relationships also, and they cannot be alone any time.They run out looking for things to do and places to go just to keep from bring alone.They will stay at others peoples houses just to be with someone.
• Australia
10 Dec 07
I think that some time alone is good, even if you are with someone. If you don't spend any time alone then you end up totally dependant on your partner which is dangerous! I love having my partner but I also appreciate doing my own thing. If you don't have a partner you have a lot more freedom to do what you want when you want. It's also a lot easier to save.
• Singapore
10 Dec 07
Seeing too much of someone can make you crazy too.;P
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I agree, i love my alone time.i have my partner but sometimes since he is home all of the time i say to him "I am going shopping alone, because i need that.Some people i know just cannot be alone and that i do not understand.Its like they are constantly looking to be with someone ,anyone as long as they are not alone.
@liji0989 (232)
• China
11 Dec 07
sometimes i am a little scared when i am alone.but i am supposed to face the fear and do my own stuff,everything is gonna be ok.
1 person likes this
@kurtbiewald (2628)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I think I could use a year alone. I like people. Its just that I need to get in touch with who I am and what I really want. Maybe other people have been confusing for awhile or something.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I think you are right about getting in touch with your feelings, and getting to know yourself.I think it is good to have some alone time, but you would be surprised at the people that will not be alone,its like they are afraid to be by themselves.They are always looking for someone to be with,or constantly staying with other people just so that they are not alone.Its like they have got to always be intertained..
• India
11 Dec 07
i usually tend to spend time alone at home.when everyones gone out i stay back read a book,watch tv or surf the net.buti love to spend time with friends but only with a few not a whole bunch
1 person likes this
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I love being alone for awhile...I've got 2 kids so I'm lucky if I even get to go to the bathroom by myself. In fact, I've gotten into a lot of misunderstandings with people due to my need to be by myself...they think I hate them when in reality i just don't want to see or talk to anybody.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
That is very good vera, you are not afraid to be alone.I think it is wonderful that a person is comfortable with their own company.
@vera5d (4006)
• United States
11 Dec 07
i think independence is important :)
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5485)
• United States
10 Dec 07
I lived on my own for a year, after divorce, and before meeting my s/o, I never had a problem staying alone, I read, and at that time was going to school online. And even now, it doesn't bother me to be alone. I spent a week alone back in Feb. when we had the Valentine's Day snowstorm. He works in another town and couldn't get home and I was snowed in at home. I will admit that the hardest part for me when he's gone is sleeping, I'm used to feeling him next to me. However, I have never been one that had have someone with me all the time.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Thank you, that is the point i was trying to make.I see that if you were alone you could handle it.I was also alone at one time after divorce and i was able to maintain too.I understand that it is nice to have someone, i do now, but when i was by myself,I accepted that until someone came into my life.The people that i am speaking of seems to not be able to accept that they are alone,and constantly stay away from home to keep from being by themselves,thats the part i do not understand.I never went around looking for places to stay when i was by myself, because i had to have someone there...
• United States
10 Dec 07
I agree, I never went looking for somewhere to go. And I have known people like you talk of, and they always seemed to stay in a not so good relationship, just because they were afraid to be on their own.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
10 Dec 07
It's hard to answer your question because I stay with my family. But yes, I think I can spend time alone. I have tried months of silence too. Not talking to anyone at all and just doing my own thing. Sometimes, my family will go abroad and I am home alone for some days. Then, I will feel the emptiness a bit. I think time alone occasionally or whenever you want to is great. But time alone forever as in like a hermit on a one man's island... well, I rather not.:P
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Oh yes if you stay with your family it is different.If you happened to live alone though, could you handle it without constantly looking for someone to spend the night with ? or could you stay alone if you had too? By your answers i am sure if you were alone you could handle it.
@liji0989 (232)
• China
11 Dec 07
i hope u guys have a great holiday season and happy posting.
1 person likes this
@dayzz25 (552)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I don't think that this is a weird discussion at all. I know some people that try so hard to be in a relationship because they are scared to be alone. I don't understand it at all. I'm sure times can be lonely if you are single but take advantage of it and get to truly know yourself. I would rather be by myself than be in a relationship. Here are some of the reasons; I don't have to clean up after anyone, I can watch whatever I want to watch, don't have to cook a full meal if I don't want to, less laundry, less dishes, and I could go on and on. I'm in a relationship and wish to be single...lol. I envy those that are single and alone. I get crabby if I don't have some alone time so I don't understand how some people want someone with them 24/7. Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
well i have a friend that i care about a lot but they are alone but was in a relationship, this person cannot stand to be alone..They visit people , go places and stay gone all the time because they cannot handle being alone.They had rather spend the night with someone or have someone stay with them because they cannot handle being alone.I think this is sad because this person cannot stay at home long enough to do anything..They want to be so busy with someone doing something 24 hours a day 7 days a week.I feel they have fears of being by themselves.
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
that's good for you, and i think i'm just like you. i never get a problem being lonely. in fact, my being lonely makes me introspective and the more i can think deeply and reflect on certain things. when i'm lonely, i can feel peace. i think it's just normal to be lonely at times, but we also need some people around us to socialize with. but those people who are afraid to be alone, i guess they have been so dependent to people. i think they should try to work something by themselves because not all the time do they have to depend on someone. but you know what, i feel good just to know that i can be independent. that's quite a good self-esteem. :) nice thread by the way.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Yes it is a really good feeling to know that if you ever had to be alone that you are strong enough to handle it without fears of severe loniness..
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
11 Dec 07
slickcut, I don't believe your discussion is weird. Myself,being married and having a fulltime job I like being able to spend time alone, it seems as though I never get this chance so when I do I treasure the time to do what ever I want to do without someone asking question's,its nice to just sit and be by yourself or take a hot bath and listen to music or just not do anything, I guess I can stay alone and it don't bother me. Have a great day!
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Awwwwwww yes it is nice sometime to enjoy some alone time when you just relax and do not have to talk..
@marinarovi (1318)
• Argentina
11 Dec 07
I like to do some things on my own, like go shopping, or stay at home and watch a movie, or read something, or whatever. But I don't like going on holidays alone, for example, I go with my boyfgriend or a friend or my family. Hate to do that alone! And I hate going to the cinema alone, too. So I guess my loner status depends on the activity, hehe.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
well yes of course on holidays i enjoy being with my family too, and i always enjoy time with my family.At the same time i also see that you are not afraid to spend sometime alone, this is natural..
@fanji008 (782)
• China
10 Dec 07
Hi,there! Well,I think this depends on different people.Some people are not used to be alone,they would always like to be with someone and do sth together but not alone.I'm ok with either stay with other people or spend time alone.I think both of the two cases are necessary for me.Sometimes I'd like to spend the time with my family members or my friends,I'd like to share things with them.But sometimes I'd like others to leave me alone so that I can do sth alone.I can think about sth,consider clearly about sth,read some books,listen to the music,watch some movies:) Everybody needs his/her own space.Thanks for the discussion and have a nice day^_^
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
11 Dec 07
I agree i like to be with others also but i also enjoy time alone.I am not afraid to be alone.Some people cannot be alone at all they either have to be with someone all the time or they are just there twideling their thumbs,and miserable, not me i can take either way but i must have some alone time.The ones i am speaking of can not be alone at all without someone with them.This is what i do not understand.
@balasri (26553)
• India
10 Dec 07
I like my own company at times.I wish toe hear my kind of peoples thoughts only.I dont know if it is right or wrong.i am like that.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Very good, i also like my own company too sometimes.Its ok to enjoy others answers.Thank you for you reply.
• India
10 Dec 07
Well 10yrs into marriage and family, the grass looks typically green on the other side for me. I yearn for solitude, for some time for myself. Saturdays when hubby goes for work and kiddo is with grandparents, its bliss for me. I can even sleep away the whole day…no cooking, no looking after somebody, no running errands, no talking to anybody, can watch whatever channel I want without having to feel guilty, read story books, catch up with friends…oh its bliss as I said. But by evening, I am lonely. I yearn for the company of my husband, I wait eagerly for his return so that we can just sit together with a cup of tea and I can pour out my day’s ‘adventures’ to him. so you see, I do like solitude for some hours, but at a stretch it does get a bit too much for me.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
10 Dec 07
Very good answer.Thank you
@gegegelay (934)
• Philippines
11 Dec 07
I think that being alone is just being in a state of solitude. It's where we leave our comfort zones and go to a place of serenity. It's good to actually allow yourself to be in a place like that from time to time. It allows you to medidate, think and just think of nothing else but yourself. Although it is a hard thing to do, but still it's healthy to some people when they get some time alone for themselves.
1 person likes this