My daughter is looking for my advice on alcoholic husband!

Problems with alcoholism! - say not to alcohol
United States
December 12, 2007 11:46am CST
My Dad was an alcoholic and my daughter is well aware of the fact from when she was a child and saw some of what my mother went through. Now she is married to a man who is putting her through almost the same exact thing and she's asking me for advice on what she should do. I never had a husband who was an alcoholic and tried to tell her that I think it's a different situation but did tell her all I could remember of my mothers experiences and also the experiences from my point of view as the child of an alcoholic. I advised her to go to al anon and he to aa and all the right stuff but I don't know if I've done enough to help her. Is there anything I'm forgetting to say to her? What can I do besides be there for her? I'm at a loss at this point and feeling so helpless since she is in CA and I live in MA.
4 people like this
3 responses
• United States
13 Dec 07
All you can do is be there for her.I hope she can go to Anon.The sad thing is that your son-in-law Has to want to stop drinking and nothing and no one can make him do it. It has to come from within him.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 07
You are doing the right thing.i hope evreything works out.Take Care.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 07
My daughter seems to know all the right things but you know how it is when you're "in love"....love is blind!
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 07
Or it is the " I can change him" syndrome.
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
12 Dec 07
I think she should get out of that relationship, especially if there are kids in the mix, They do not need to be subjected to that type of behaviour. Maybe you should offer for her to come stay with you while he gets some help, if he does deside to get some help. My experience with people who drink too much is they need something in their life to change dirastically before they even admit, or realize that they have a problem. I guess i was one of those people but i'm a quick learner :) She will have a lot less heart and prob physically hurt if she is to just walk away..
1 person likes this
@dpurchas (91)
• United States
13 Dec 07
Wow - I sympathize. I have dealt with this with my husband. There are times he realizes he is drinking too much and will try to get better, and then there are times when it gets really bad. Now that we have a child - he has mellowed out. I don't know anymore that you could do except for what you have already suggested and to be there for her when she needs help. I am sure it is really hard on you with being so far apart. AA and the other support groups are probably the best thing for her right now. My thoughts are with you.
1 person likes this