I'm NEVER going to be divorced. :-(

United States
December 12, 2007 8:13pm CST
This nightmare is NEVER going to end. Seven freaking years I've been married to this bleep bleep. He filed for divorce less than a month after we were married. And he's filed atleast 10 times since then, he never lets them go through. He always skips state right before the final hearing. I had never filed myself until now and our FINAL hearing was supposed to be today and that bleep bleep had it continued. And he didn't have a good reason. He lied to the judge to get it and there isn't anything I can do about it. He wants me back and he refuses to let us get divorced. I'm so freaking angry. I wanted this to be done and over with a LONG, LONG time ago and now I'm atleast going to stay married to him for 2-3 more months. I'm FURIOUS! Has anyone else ever went through this? Did you ever finally get divorced? Is there ANYTHING I can do to hurry this along. There isn't even a child support order, he helps me in NO way what-so-ever, in fact, he costs me more money because he plays games with the kids....It all just seems so unfair. AHHHHH So much for the huge celebration party I had planned for tonight :-(
3 people like this
13 responses
@dmm1932 (46)
• United States
13 Dec 07
I am so sorry to hear that. I have never been through this myself, but I know one friend who had a similar problem. Her husband was a heroin addict, only she didn't know it...at first. She tried helping him through rehab and everything, but he just kept going back to it. He used that as a sob story on the judge. The judge actually made them go through 3 months of therapy before he would grant the divorce. She went through the therapy, even though she had moved back home with her parents. They are divorced now, but it took forever. Hang in there, hopefully things get better soon. By the way, your daughter is absolutely adorable. You got the best part of him, you got her.
3 people like this
• United States
13 Dec 07
Thank you for saying my daughter is adorable! She is! But, ohhhh can she be a handfull! I'm hanging in there, but it is very very hard. I'm getting to the point where I just despise being near him or to hear his voice. And yeah, the only good things that came out of this relationship is the two beautiful children!
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
13 Dec 07
Wow, I can see why he would skip town, a judge would say that he has to pay child support. If I were you I could go to the family court and see what you can do about getting child support while you are waiting for a divorce and get it retoactively. Maybe wants he realizes he has to pay no matter what...he will divorce you. BTW It took at least at least 7 years before my divorce was finalized. And in 13 years I never got an increase in child support.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Dec 07
Oh lord, it took you 7 years? This is crazy it taking this long! We have NOTHING to fight about except the kids, we have no property or anything like that, it's just about the kids. It's rediculous. I just wish he'd go back to where he came from and leave us all alone!
@spoiled311 (5500)
• Philippines
15 Dec 07
oh stephanie! that is sooo sad...by the way, why did he file for divorce just barely a month into your marriage? and now, why does he want you back? do you live in the same house? gee...can you file something about psychological incapacity or something? what did your lawyers say? oh, i am so sorry that you are in such a situation...if you believe in God, better start praying...
@lizzyt2007 (1312)
• Craig, Alaska
16 Dec 07
I don't got any advice for you, and for that I am sorry. I can only tell you I've sorta been in this place before. my first marriage I was miserable for 4 years and I finaly told him I want a divorce and he just started crying and told me he loved me, I should have said no I am leaving. but I didn't I gave in and said ok we can try this again. well months later I was house sitting alone without him for 1 month, boy was i lonely. he came to get me finally and said I want a divorce. i couldn't believe it he left me there alone without him to test his life and to see if he needed me or loved me, thats what he said. I said yes. then I stoped and said wait I want to work things out, and he said no. I think men are sickening in the way they think their more important then us women and their feelings are more important. Now I just got a another divorce and my spouse wants me back. i keep saying don't leave us again. when he did. now he might call me again soon, and I want to say no more, but I don't know if I got the courage. I've missed our few good times. will our life be diferent? thats my question to think about. I guess what I want to say is hang in there and eventually you'll see the sign he'll want to divorce you or you will get divorced from him.
• India
16 Dec 07
its so bad with u i think u should complaint to court or u should also file the divorce case. might be it will take less time. well if u not happy i think judge should give u divorce.
@skinnychick (6905)
• United States
15 Dec 07
My ex did this for 3 years- I will tell you how my saga ended though I don't advise you do this- not that I did this on purpose, it just happened. Anyway, mine kept doing that and no child support he got nailed for back support in court- :), keep tabs on that- your lawyer should have filed a temporary support order for seperation but your state might be different. I kept getting the run around too, so I ended up dating a guy I had known for a few months and got pregnant, darn pill, and once he found out it was over in a month! :) See I don't advocate it- but he ran fast!
• United States
15 Dec 07
Oh my gosh, lol, NO THANK YOU! I have FIVE kids already. There isn't any thing that could make me have another, lol. Thanks anyways! I'm glad it worked for you.
• United States
15 Dec 07
Everyone laughed pretty much- I do! I guess maybe I was just trying to say that hang in there- things have a way of working things out! :)
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
13 Dec 07
Boy you are rellay getting things thrown at you. I would get your lawyer to go after him for child support and find out what you can do to get it to go through faster. You are right it has been going on too long.
1 person likes this
@pilbara (1436)
• Australia
13 Dec 07
I am very sorry to hear this and hope it gets sorted out for you. I can't really help, but surely being able to show the documentation from his previous attempts might be useful. If he has acted like this so many times before could it be considered to be a form of abuse in an emotional and mental context?
1 person likes this
• India
13 Dec 07
Hi Stephanie5! I am sorry to hear about our plight. I have been stuck up in a miserable marriage for almost 12 years after which I walked out of him.I did not take a divorse that time because I was sure that i did not want to marry again. Now after almost 4 years when i called him to my house regarding the divorse he came with the woman he is living with and roamed around the city at my expense and stole some valuables from my house and vanished without signing the documents. Now he does not pick up the mobile when i call or when he recognizes my voice he simply cuts the phone.
@shak143 (1280)
• India
13 Dec 07
I am so sorry to hear that. I have never been through this myself and thank go that none of my friends faced this problem.i hope you will get what you want.
1 person likes this
@RosieS57 (889)
• United States
13 Dec 07
Can't you file that he has abandoned you and the kids? You can get Child Support Enforcement going and use that as proof that he has never paid because he will have to give back support from the time he left you and the kids. I would go the abandonment route, even if you did kick him out, because there isn't any record anywhere of him providing for the children and HE has to prove that, not you. You're the Plantiff and he's the Respondent, which means the burden of proof is where it belongs, on him. Look into this, please, and get for the kids what they should have had all along if he wasn't such a skunk.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 07
Wow! 7 freaking years??.. i think its time for a lawyer,because under certin stipulations a judge can grant a divorce for any reason. so i would definatly be looking into that.. my father and his wife were married and split up. my father and my mother were together for 15 years before him and his first wife got a divorce and they stopped talking when they first split up....
@nichole1983 (1187)
• Canada
13 Dec 07
oh wow... he needs some serious help... im sure by now that the state would be stepping in of some sort.. he always skips out... cant the state do anything to him... they can see that he is unstable... i truly feel for you...
1 person likes this