Marriage and Love

China
December 13, 2007 12:17am CST
Now I will start a new discussion: Marriage and Love. Some one said that love is the basic element in marriage, Someone said marriage is a good result of love.How do think about it? In my opinion, A marriage should be connected with love. But as amatter of fact, we can often see that love is love and marriage is marriage, sometimes marriage breaks away entirely from love. Love is a matter of feeling, it is an individual thing, a personal thing,it has nothing to do with social things. Yet marriage is not such a case. Marriage is closely connected with one's family, with the society and even with politics, economy and social status.We can often see that without toomuch money, without a good social background, without a higher social status, even a deep-loved couple can not come to each other and live together. Sometimes, before getting married, a man and a woman may love each other deeply. But after they get married, they began to dislike each other. They begin to feel that nothing is interesting in their life.In China there is a famous novel that says,"marriage is a beatiful castle. You want to enter the castle when you are still outside it, but after you have been inside it,you will try to find your way out of it". Is this a true principle for marriage? I believe that you can give me a satisfying answer, and I wish that all the kind persons will have good marriage and happy life.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@kwenge (2493)
• Kenya
14 Dec 07
Yes, love and marriage are the foundations of a happy family. You have to fall in love first before getting married and time passes the love can become stronger or weaker depending on the circumstances. Getting kids together strengthens the love bond and keeps the marriage going. You can also stay in love without getting married for many years but you cannot stay married for long if there is no love. Love brings trust, respect and togetherness in a marriage.
@nkhanna (925)
• India
14 Dec 07
hi bluestream.first of all welcome to mylot.well to some extent i agree with you but ont fully.actually what i think that most of the people dont take their marriage seriously.and i am sure you know the reason.love is wonderful just because when you fall in love ,you want to know each toher,you want to spend time with each and since you have other obligations to make like your studies or your career,you just cant meet everyday or something like.so whenever two person meets they just show their best since they want to make the best use of the time.further since there is no boundation,both are insecure as well,so they always want to keep their loved ones happy.however just the oppostite happens after marriage.they find enough time and then the bad part comes.many a times,they dont like each other's habit.even mentality is also not accepted.they start taking each other for granted since they know that now they are married. those who really love their partners will not try to uhrt them before or after marriage.so according to me the first thing that one should look for in their partner is respect.whether the other person respects his or her feeling,emoitions,views or not.then comes understanding and love.love as well marriage is very wonderful,but its just the way you want to take it.
• India
14 Dec 07
very nice explation you give to love marriage & arrange marriage...on any way i will tell my openion about that . Now-a-days- most of the people start to love, some one is simple college romatic, some one make time pas romance .But some people let think & decide then only start the love what will happen in the future we can join together, we can leave together like that this one called serious love or deep understanding love i will suppose this love, Finaly this love wht they will do means inform the parents & get married nobody cant tell anything this situation this marriage will get all of support and more over that one become arrange marriage also..But some people doing misuse our love all those things this result will com eout for divorce after getting marriage also they will not peace of mind , money problem they are realising all matter after there marriage they are suffering lots of problem.. Some people go for arrange marrige that one they dont know eachother , both are want to lots of time to understand eachother..505% arrange marriage go for divource the main reason is understanding problem., I think before going arrange marriage marriage council like that program is more beneficial , more over understanding ,both are dont keep any secret each and every problem both are share means likfe will be happy .Wife ask to all thinngs to wht i can do , wht i cannot do , like that important matter husband also share with wife so there will be no clash nothing .. So life will be beautiful... Thak you dear friend give a chance to respond your discussion ... Bye have a nice day..
@tpratte (12)
• United States
14 Dec 07
I happen to agree. We always want what we can't have. Marriage is easy to get into, and sometimes very difficult to get out of. Love is even more difficult. But love and marriage have very little to do with each other, at least in my opinion. I would love to survey 1000 couples and find out how in love they were at the beginning of their marriage versus 10 years later, maybe 20 years later. Why do people fall out of love??
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
13 Dec 07
Hi Bluestream, Welcome to myLot, I hope you will enjoy your time here and have fun. There are a lot of nice people here, and I expect you will make many friends. You write about marriage and love, and the relation between the two. It's true that people should always be in love before they marry, but they must also realize that they now have a different relationship. They now own things together, and all major decisions should be made together. One of the big mistakes that a husband and wife make is to take each other for granted. They must still spend quality time together, surprise each other with little things that keep the romance in their marriage, and never forget to listen to each other. Not everyone who gets married wants to get out, but it helps if they know that they will have to work to make it succeed. Blessings.
• India
13 Dec 07
well i think it is true.when you are in love its very interesting but once after that you get married theres not much to look forward to.but i may be wrong because i am not married so i cant give whats true but thats what i think.
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
13 Dec 07
I think your first two statements are not contradictory but can go hand in hand: "Some one said that love is the basic element in marriage, Someone said marriage is a good result of love." I think, before one marries they should look at their reasons. Is it to get out of the house, because society/family tells them to, security, animal attraction and little else? My mom always said to wait until at least thirty so that you are entering into this covenent for the right reasons, and because you have begun to truly know yourself and what you want and need. She has often said that the basic foundation to love is - communication, respect, friendship, communication and good s^x and on this the house of love can truly be built. And of course the feeling of love. Without all of these elements one shouldn't enter marraige. I happen to agree. I think love is one basic element - among those listed above and marraige is a result of finding love and these other things, communication etc in another. Good luck - and welcome - have fun mylotting.