Encouraging Children to be Dishonest

United States
December 13, 2007 9:14pm CST
Earlier this week my grandson had his new snowpants taken from his locker. The teacher sent a note home to ask the parents to check if they were brought home by mistake. The snowpants have not been returned. It really upsets me that there are people in this world who would encourage their children to steal. They are setting them up for failure in the future. There is part of me that still hopes that the snowpants will be returned. Tomorrow I will have to buy him a new pair.
11 people like this
29 responses
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
14 Dec 07
Hello ElusiveButterfly, I do wish that this had been in practice when my high school ring had been stolen from my locker. My parents spent over 250.00 back in the 80's for my H.S. ring. I had it less than two weeks before it was stolen from my gym locker. Suffice it to say that our school's gym lockers had rotating locker numbers, so anyone who previously had the locker would know the combination. We got our rings during our junior year, so any senior might have been the culprit. My folks were both disabled by the time that I got my ring, so it was money spent that they couldn't afford. I guess I needn't point out that I truly resent the thief who took my gold ring. Grrrr! I hope your grandson gets his snowpants back. It is a very serious challenge to comraderie to know that there is a thief among us.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Dec 07
You feel so violated when someone takes something that belongs to you. This is especially true when you know that the item was a gift that came so hard for the people that bought it for you. Big huggers to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 07
don't forget to have him check lost and found. They may have placed it there. also kids can sometimes forget where they left it last. My brothers coat was stolen from his back in school. My mother went and raised hell. You know the principal paid for a new one. The parents never came to the school or returned the coat. This is a cruel world we live in.
2 people like this
• United States
14 Dec 07
I am not sure that they checked the lost and found. I will have to send a note to the teacher tomorrow.
2 people like this
@emarie (5454)
• United States
14 Dec 07
well, who knows why people steel. It may have been jealously since they were new pants. But it is sad. I would be extremely upset if someone took anything of my sons. I know he would probably come home crying since he's only 5. I hope your grandson isn't too upset. You just need to explain that people do things like that and let him know that the person who did it will eventually get punished and nothing is his fault. Especially in the holiday season, people do tend to get more desperate. A few Christmases' ago I had someone break into my car just for a stereo. He did eventually get when he deserved since he also took several other peoples stereos in different cites. He paid me restitution for a year.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 07
I plan on sewing his name in several places on the new pants.
• United States
15 Dec 07
i've put my childrens names on their jackets, hats, scarves and gloves but they still end up missing at school. one year i personally checked the lost and found every week but none of their stuff ever showed. i think other children would take these things home and the parents dont care so they just let them use it for non-school use.
@mrsjbelle (1641)
• United States
13 Jan 08
This upsets me as well. We have had several new jackets come up missing at daycare/school/Chuck E Cheeses. These parents know some kid out there must be missing his jacket if there kid brings one home. I guess the kid could lie as well though and say well Mom Tommy GAVE it to me because he didnt need it anymore. Its terrible how kids learn to lie so early in life.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jan 08
You would think the parent would question this a bit further if that were to happen. I am still fluffed over it.
@pastorkayte (2255)
• United States
14 Dec 07
I have heard a lot of things but this is a new one, you think because your grand child lost his pants that someone stole them, and you are blaming the parents of that child for encouraging him to steal, yeah not something I believe. My daughter gave her shirt away and when I got angry she told me it was stolen so I went to the school and lo and behold the little girl was wearing it. So we brought her mother in and the little girl said my daughter gave it to her, the mom flustered thought one of her aunts had given it to her. Neither her or I encouraged our children to lie or take other peoples things. I would investigate that further.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 07
If my child were to come home from school with a new pair of snowpants I would bring them back to the school and find out who they belonged to. A note was sent home to the parents. The snowpants have not been returned.
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
14 Dec 07
Have your son change his lock to a key lock if that is allowed so that no one can look over his shoulder and get the combination in the future. Snowpants are too expensive to keep replacing plus it may make the child feel insecure if he knows someone is taking advantage of him like that. Next they may try to take things directly from his person!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 07
I have to ask the teacher if they are allowed to have locks on their lockers.
@patgalca (14369)
• Orangeville, Ontario
14 Dec 07
I definitely don't encourage dishonesty. When there is a phone call for my daughter from someone she doesn't want to talk to, she tell me to say that she isn't home. I just look at her and say, "I don't lie." I had a real problem with her lying when she was younger so there is no way I am going to lie in front of her, for her or otherwise. The only lying I do is that of omission. I'm not sure that can be considered lying. My daughters have always brought weird things home. They have always said they found them on the street. I have often wondered what to do about this but am at a loss. My daughter found a Toronto Maple Leaf hat on the road. She loves the Leafs. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to go throw it back on the road? I admit a hat is not the same as snowpants, it's a little harder to lose snowpants but it can be done. Have you ever seen the lost and found box at an elementary school. At my daughter's school it is not a box; it is the floor running the whole length of one wall, probably about 10 feet. It is unfortunate that they were new snowpants. Can you get a pair at a secondhand store? Kids grow so quickly I don't always like to buy things like that brand new.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 07
Prior to buying the new snowpants I checked out the Goodwill store. They didn't have much. I keep checking back, but nothing yet.
@aleeming1 (163)
• Canada
14 Dec 07
Well I know that it may seem discouraging, but are you sure that all the parents have even gotten the note? Maybe there was a child that has the exact same pair and doesnt realize that they have the wrong pair. Or maybe your grandson simply misplaced that and thought he had them in his locker. There could be many reasons for why they havent been returned yet. But yes, teaching your children dishonesty is not the right thing to do. If you find out who was the theif (if one) I would tell their parents to raise a better child.
1 person likes this
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
14 Dec 07
Sometimes I find myself wondering if it is not our entire society that encourages an "easy come, easy go" attitude, which generally involves a certain lack of respect for other people and their property. Is it parents who are necessarily doing this? I am not sure. I notice how there's a growing sense of "entitlement" among people, like something they don't have but *want* is just "theirs for the taking." I'm sorry you're the victim of that kind of insensitive nonsense.
14 Dec 07
oh this is sad to hear that some body had taken the baby snowpant. but here i just want to add that it is not parents always who would encourage their children to do stealing.may the parents would not be knowing about you. i m not saying that parents don't do that but it is not always parents are responsible
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 07
I often feel like my mom is teaching my son to be a sneak and to lie. I will hear her say things like, "Don't tell dad, you know he will take it away from you." or "Shhh...Don't tell mom and dad." She gives him a lot of junk food and tells him it's okay to get it from Grandma even if mom and dad don't want him to have it. This might not be so bad, but we live together, so it is a daily occurrence. He is only 17 months! What is he going to act like at four when he really knows what's going on. I don't want him to be a sneak or a lier and still haven't figured out what to do. I would hope that the snowpants are not something that some parent is encouraging their child to take. Maybe the child has hidden them and are afraid they will be in trouble...
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
14 Dec 07
I hope that they are returned also. That is sad that a parent has to teach their kids to steal, or possibly the parent seen them and stole them ? Could that have been the case ? that is not much better at all, its still a bad example, teaching your kids that if you see something you want you can just TAKE IT. There are plently of places to ASK for help if you cannot afford warm winter clothing for your kids.
@kareng (7980)
• United States
14 Dec 07
Oh that bites indeed! It is teaching a child the wrong thing and will not help the child in the future or to grow up. It will only lead to trouble and dishonesty for life. And we both know where that leads. I hope the snowpants show up. Happy Holidays!
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
14 Dec 07
Sadly this has become a trend now and we have become a deceitful society, but then again we haven't got good role models in the government have we? Lies thrive and honesty is treated as a plague. It is a sad state of affairs when children have stuff taken, it causes bad feeling, upset as well as suspicion. I have seen it when I worked at a primary school. It's not what the children steal, like pens or such, it's the principle behind it. One little girl was heart broken, because her dad had given her 50p to buy some cakes for Mother's Day and the fifty pence piece had been stolen from her coat pocket! I hope that your snowpants turn up, but I can't see it to be honest.
@breezie (1249)
• Canada
14 Dec 07
That is too bad. I hope that the snowpants get returned. I think that it is terrible to allow a child to keep something that doesn't belong to them. My daughter has lost many thngs at school and we rarely see them gain. Sometimes they are in the lost and found, but not often. My son has a similar back pack to another child in his class and a few times he has had the other childs toys, mittens , ect in hs back pack. It never even occured to me to keep the items. I know my child would be upset if they lost something. We would hope the other person would return it, just as we would.
@melanie652 (2526)
• United States
14 Dec 07
That's just sad. It's upsetting too. Why is it easier for people to be dishonest than to be honest and do the right thing? I'm sorry about your grandson losing his new snowpants. I hope they show up!
• United States
14 Dec 07
It is possible that the parent's of the child responsible for taking the snowpants are unaware of their child's actions. I am a teacher and know that there are many parents out their that aren't aware of their children's behavior. As sad as it is, some of them don't even care. I hope you are able to resolve this issue.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 07
The child's parents may not necessairly encourage their child or children to be honest, they may counsel them about the right and wrong thing to do, it's just that children do not always listen to what their parents tell them, and stealing is no exception. Some children just don't listen, period. Don't blame the parents, blame society, and it's mixed messages in the media about what is right and wrong.
1 person likes this
@jennybianca (12915)
• Australia
14 Dec 07
It is a very awkward situation when theft occurs at a school. There is only so much the teachers can do, legally, to recover the items. It's possible the teacher suspects who stole your grandsons snowpants, but would not be allowed to search his/her bag. In view of the fact that there was no response from a parent, it would certainly look deliberate. As a parent or grandparent you may be allowed to approach individual parents, but the teacher probably can't.
@Debs_place (10525)
• United States
14 Dec 07
This has been a common problem since my son was little and he is almost 22. In his school, kids had sneakers stolen right off their feet, having to walk him barefoot and the thing is no one seems to care. Make sure his name is in everything that goes to school with him, I have caught kids and recover clothing that way.
1 person likes this