If your friends is in love

@nesher (237)
United States
December 16, 2007 12:52am CST
If your friend is in love, but you could see that the object of his passion does not deserve it, you could foresee that the relationship will not last long, should you tell that? Or just let it be, as you can loose a friend, and he/she will go with this relationship anyway?
2 people like this
10 responses
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
20 Dec 07
Put yourself in your friends place. As you say, it won't last long. It's best to stay out of these situations as it's just between the 2 people. Any interference by you could well estrange your friend. There must be some reason your friend is attracted to this person...keep your distance and be ready to step in if your friend needs you. It's a bit hard to say without knowing the individuals personally.
1 person likes this
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
Thanks for backup! It is what I decided to do for now. It is a bit sad to stay aside. But, may be, may be I am wrong with my negative judgement?
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
30 Dec 07
That could always be a possibility. What you see maybe your friend doesn't see. What is your wife's opinion of this person? Does she agree with you? The only other thing you can do is when you are all together, try and draw your friend's friend out and in this way your friend will see her true colours or you will realise your error. All will be well. :)
@nesher (237)
• United States
10 Jan 08
Case is closed. My friend is going through the recovery after the relationships were broken.
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
24 Dec 07
As you said we all have to learn our mistakes indepently Let your friend make theirs and just be there for them when the world comes crashing down and all the rest will work itself out Happy Holidays Hun
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
Agree 100%. But, sometimes, it is hard to be a spectator of the drama, if your friend or loved one is involved. Happy Holidays!
1 person likes this
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
24 Dec 07
Oh I know I have permanant teeth marks in my tongue from having to bite it quite often lol
• United States
16 Dec 07
Unless the new boyfriend/girlfriend is hitting your friend then you step in and get him/her to break with the person.anything else isn't your business. If the new love is a a**hole, they are your friend's a**hole and they like it that way.And if you try to break them up, you could lose your friend.all you can do is be there so when they break up, you can help them get over the person.
1 person likes this
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
I know, I'll wait and see. Not all the obvious things are really obvious.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 07
Especially with love.
• United States
17 Dec 07
It's like if you do it your dam and if you don't your dam kind of a thing. I did that once and told a friend that straight out and what happen he cut off all contact with me and stop being friends with me and what do you know his relationship didn't last more than two months. Then I had a friend who had to same thing and I decided to bit my tongue and didn't tell her. Well, she got taken and now has a broken heart and I told her I saw that coming and she is upset that I didn't inform her....either way buddy it's hard...
1 person likes this
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
You are right. I thought it over and over. This time, I am following advice of my best psychologist - my spouse - to stay out. Hopefully, it is a best solution in this particular case.
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
22 Dec 07
Is the relationship harming your friend? If your friend is not actually being harmed or being taken for a monetary ride, and you might lose the friendship by butting in, I would wait it out. He might need you more after the breakup finally happens on its own. So you need to be there and not be dumped as a friend for sticking your nose in where he doesn't want you!
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
25 Dec 07
You may be exactly right about your friend. That actually sounds like the reason that he is in the relationship. He has done something in his past that he feels bad about and he is now doing penance for it. Hopefully he will see the light soon and get out of this destructive relationship and into a more constructive one!
@nesher (237)
• United States
28 Dec 07
I think he is on the way to recovery, as he decided to go to pshycologist. So, he is obviousely understands that something is wrong.
@academic2 (7010)
• Uganda
24 Dec 07
On matters of the heart, no one has the moral authority to intefere,let the parties discover what works and what doesnt work
@nesher (237)
• United States
25 Dec 07
Yes, this is probably the best.
@zhwbeast (328)
• China
20 Dec 07
I think I will give some advice to my friend.and point out the difficult of their love which can destyoy their love in short time.Also I can help him /her to solve the problems if it can be get rid of.If it could not be avoided,my friend will have a mental preparation and spend less time in the love.
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
Tell you truth, I am a bit afraid of giving advices due to the several reasons: 1. I am not a G-d, and I can be wrong (even, it seems to me unlikely at the moment). 2. I do not want to loose a friend. At the moment, he is so in love, that any negative comment might be not accepted properly. 3. It is impossible to spare personal life experience. Everybody has to get to the important decision on his/her own. Even, it might be painfull at the end.
@ishqvishq (1023)
• India
17 Dec 07
you just can tell your views to her what you think further you put on her/him that will be much better
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
I am afraid it can be an end of our relationship. Person in passion is really blind and unreasonable. No sound facts are accepted at the moment. I have read that the first passion period for humans is 1.5 months in average. I will wait, and hopefully, my friend will recover...
• China
17 Dec 07
Tell him your feeling ! As his friend , you shuld tell him ,your true thought!
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
It was my first intention. Who should tell the truth, if not the close friend, no matter how sad it is. But, what is truth? Who am I to judge? Besides, unfortunately, one cannot lend life experience to another.
• Philippines
16 Dec 07
Only God can say who are meant to be.We should not judge unless we have no imperfections our selves.Aloow them to grow together and allow them selves to find out if they are compatible.
@nesher (237)
• United States
24 Dec 07
It is hard to stay aside... But... I remember, how my mom tried hard to talk me off my first marriage. She was definitely right, but I am glad I did not listen, and made all my mistakes independently.