Good Reputation: Do you behave artificially to gain it?

@worthy (2415)
India
December 16, 2007 8:41am CST
Or, has it come to you for actually what you are? do you think speaking your mind or being true to yourself affects your social popularity negatively? (By speaking your mind I don't mean being rude or vulgar) Can you suggest how to achieve an optimum balance between the two?
6 people like this
9 responses
@razcal2267 (15577)
• United States
16 Dec 07
I would have such an issue not being who I am. I am not good at pretending and really see no reason to try to be someone I am not just to get people to like me. My friends know who I am and accept it, even if they do not agree with everything I say or do. As for having a balance, I really cant help you because I am a take it or leave it person.
2 people like this
@worthy (2415)
• India
19 Dec 07
I am not good at pretending too.You've got good friends.Thanks for the response
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
17 Dec 07
Worthy, I feel, as long as we have our values right and do out things in the right place and the right time, we do not have to worry about our reputation. I have known some ppl who have always been very blatant with their thoughts and never do they cease from expressing those. But at the end of the day they are good humans with the right kind of dispositions. And guess what, reputation takes care of them. We don't have to work on it when we are working on our behaviour, values, emotional manifestations and all of these come with a right balance of parenting and schooling. I feel, we cannot act upto a good human, we have to be one at heart and then only ppl will understand. In the long run this will get rewarded as ' good reputation'. Thanks. PS: We should all learn to speak our minds without crossing the line of decency at any point. There is a difference between vulgarity and speaking one's mind. We need be rude or aggressive to express ourselves. The same can be done convincingly in a decent manner.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2415)
• India
19 Dec 07
each and every sentence is so meaningful,i can't help but admire you for stating them so well.Only a good human can understand and recognize the other.Thanks for the precious view
@dpk262006 (53690)
• Delhi, India
20 Dec 07
Worthy! I agree with your comments...everytime Mimpi writes something...she does it wonderfully and with full concentration.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25455)
• India
20 Dec 07
Worthy, Thanks for appreciating my input here. However, I feel, a lot has to do with my parents and grand parents who have successfully instilled these ideas in me. I am nothing without them. And also I have learned things from experiences that I have faced in my life. We all are born with these ideas and values but have to whet it from time to time. Again, I am not that good. For being good one has to be good all through, incessantly without any time out. I only aspire to live up to that defined goodness. Thanks worthy.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53690)
• Delhi, India
17 Dec 07
Worthy, I think as far as I am concerned, it is not possible for me to behave artificially or pretend. I show to the others, what I actually am. I cannot conceal my real personality. Being diplomatic is very difficult, atleast for me. I also believe that you cannot conceal your real personality, if you are interacting with a person regularly...he/she will come to know about real you. You can befool others all the time. Good Post indeed!
@worthy (2415)
• India
19 Dec 07
very true dpk.being diplomatic is just so difficult.and yes,you can't befool others all the time.good answer.:)
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (53690)
• Delhi, India
20 Dec 07
Thanks for your encouraging comments.
1 person likes this
@shak143 (1280)
• India
26 Dec 07
i will respond only to the discussions which i like and what my mind say about it.i never think of my reputation while responding as i dont know about it.still i get a good response from my co-myloters. some times being by youself and revealing what you know will affects your reputation.so we have to see the situation while responding.that's my policy.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2415)
• India
26 Dec 07
being a little careful is always better.Diplomacy saves a lot of trouble no doubt
@ESKARENA1 (18304)
23 Dec 07
i really dont know how to be anything other than what i am. I tend not to be the most popular of people because of it, i cant brown-nose anyone, its just not in me. To peole who are used to being treated this way, I come over as brash and rude, i prefer to think of it as honest. Either way, its who I am, but ill never win a popularity contest. Anyway, if you are being true to yourself, then your 10 star rating suggests you dont have to pretend to keep a high rating blessed be
1 person likes this
@worthy (2415)
• India
26 Dec 07
ESKARENA,we think alike.putting on a mask all the time is bound to choke you.Thanks for defining honesty in a new way.:)
@xParanoiax (7005)
• United States
20 Dec 07
Lol, My reputation's a bit different depending on who you listen to. Some people have plenty of negative things to say about me, usually ex friends, or ex's period. People who just...felt offensive because of my prescence, or whatever it is, it's kinda random.. But total strangers usually believe I'm "The perfect little angel"...people who know me well know I'm no angel, but they'll also be to add I occasionally do try on that halo sometimes. It's not a well-known fact that I'll lie when I think it's smart or otherwise suits me, those close to me know this...but that doesn't mean I'm a CHRONIC liar. As I've said before, dependance on a tool (lies) is a sure way to head toward said tool's destruction. Those who don't know me well have the sense enough to know that I'm careful with my words. But I'm never NOT me. I show different faces to different people, that's true...but that does not make any of those faces any less valid. I'm not a mimic, in some shape or form that face is a part of me. So my reputation can be pretty much summed up like this; quiet, helpful, smart, dark, strange bookworm girl who's always busy. Thankfully not many people make the mistake in thinking I'm helpless, or else I sense I would've had a violent reputation long before this point (even though I've had my share of that too, it's remained a private affair...opposing parties never wanted to advertize it after lol). I dunno...I guess that's the balance? I don't really know. I don't frankly care about my reputation. It's amusing or frustrating at times, thinking about it...but I've never actively tried to create it, change it, or add onto it. I've never had to TRY hard at living...I just...live.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2415)
• India
26 Dec 07
being yourself is what i believe in too.Even saints have been criticised let alone ordinary humans.you're right in saying that while some like you,there will be many who don't.well..we are here for a purpose and we have to live the best way we can and that includes caring for others as well.No matter how good our intentions are,behaviourally we just can't be purrrrrfect.Hehehehe
@Aussies2007 (5339)
• Australia
17 Dec 07
You cannot gain a good reputation by faking it... because more often than not... you will have a bad day... forget to fake it... and people will discover who you really are. I have a very good reputation with my customers... and I earned it through consistency over a period of 30 years. Speaking your mind is OK... as long as you respect other people opinions... and don't start an argument because they won't agree with you. If you are like me... and you have some strong opinions about the world... which goes against what people want to believe... in most cases... it is better to keep them for yourself. You must not mix business with your personal life and your personal believes. And reputation is only important when it comes to business. Friends and family don't matter. If they don't like you for who you are... find someone else.
@worthy (2415)
• India
19 Dec 07
I'll remember to keep my opinions to myself and express them with people who understand me well.friends,you can have new,but family....hehehehe
@ky1119 (701)
• United States
16 Dec 07
I am always true to myself. I don't pretend to be something that I'm not, and I never have. Theres no point it. Eventually, the truth comes out and there goes whatever reputation that you've built by being fake, and in turn you get one for being fake. There is absolutely no point in being something or someone that you're not. It just makes everyone, including yourself, miserable in the end.
1 person likes this
@worthy (2415)
• India
19 Dec 07
eventually the truth comes out and can make everyone miserable.how very true ky1119
@bluewings (3857)
20 Jan 08
Lol,I am like I sound.To a certain extent , I do care about what people think about me , but that's not to get Mylot reputation points,lol.I hardly login here to get to enjoy my reputation , whatever it is :P, but I am sincere whenever I post.Otherwise, I don't post at all.I have free time today and that's why I am posting.Feels good,lol.