If you are on my shoe, will you tell her?

Philippines
December 17, 2007 11:30am CST
My eldest sister who's fighting cervical cancer for nearly two years now is going to see her doctor today.When I ask why, she said,"I might need some draining on my previous surgical wound".It has been nearly a year now since that metastasis near her abdomen was operated.And due to some adhesions there after several months after the operation, a growth had occured . She actually just completed her chemotherapy and radiotherapy(Last year she also had), but now again, another infection is occuring on that site. She kept on complaining about the pain since two weeks ago. And a week after the pain his doctor found out there was huge amount of pus on that site.The doctor just drained the site a little bit and today is the total evacuation of the pus.I have a fear that my sister's illness is progressing, a first stage cervical cancer should not be progressing aggressively like hers.Such are the symptoms of a progressive cancer cases.I know I have some background on such illnesses and having cancer patients that I took care in the past,she is displaying several symptoms same like my patients.I am the only closest family my sister have here in the city(Physically) and if I'd tell the TRUTH of her condition, I would be killing the last hope and courage she have and her family.I could easily talk to my patients' family of their illnesses when they querry, but not with my own sister.Was this right??? If you're me, would you do the same, not comment anything bout my sister's health and keep up the positive attitude or should you do otherwise?Help me feel enlighten folks.Thanks for all your responses and advice.
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8 responses
• Philippines
22 Dec 07
yes,she has a right to know what is happening to her so that she can prepare her self and her loved ones in her departure.Also,All patients need to know the state of their conditions.Give her strength and moral support.That is what she will need the most, not the crying and depressions she might see.Give hope come what may
• Philippines
22 Dec 07
Yes I know.It is really a difficult situation now.Thanks for emphatizing.
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@mcjustin (82)
• United States
19 Dec 07
My preyers to you and your sister. I lost a very close friend to cancer about 2 years ago and I understand the emotional stress you're going through. I'm surprised that many of those who responded to your dilema think you should tell your sister that you think her cancer is progressing. She may be thinking that already and she doesn't need you to reinforce what must be her biggest fear. What she needs from you is strenght and courage. If anything, you should have a one-on-one with the doctor, or recommend a second opinion. Be strong mcjeanie...Give your sister HOPE!
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• Philippines
19 Dec 07
I already did, and I always will. Thanks for the kindness of your advice, reading in between the lines my delicate concern about the situation.
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• China
18 Dec 07
Yes,I will.
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• Philippines
18 Dec 07
Something for me to carefully consider doing.Thanks!
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• United States
18 Dec 07
If her doctor isn't telling her what you think is the truth of her condition, maybe you could just express your concern and urge her to get a second opinion. That way, she's getting the truth from a doctor, but with you there to support her. Also, I don't think knowing that her chances are slim is necessarily killing her hope and courage. It could...but having a strong positive sister like you by her side to help her stay positive regardless might be able to keep it from killing her hope and courage. y'know? Well, I'll be praying for you and your sister!
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• Philippines
18 Dec 07
Well, I visited her today and her doctor says the pus that occured on the site were the side effect of radio and chemotherapy.She's scheduled for draining of the wound tommorrow.I hope the infection would be resolved and there is no more abberation of cells in the area. I will support my sister all the way. Thank you for your advice.
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@miryam (6510)
• Italy
17 Dec 07
sorry sorry and sorry too.... myry
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• Philippines
18 Dec 07
Thanks for taking time to drop by.
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@sugarfloss (2140)
• Malaysia
17 Dec 07
hello mcjeannie.I would definitely tell her but pick the best time.You can do it,you're the sister.Hang in there!Goodluck!
• Philippines
17 Dec 07
Wow...best thing that inspire me with your response is, your MAGIC WORD "Pick the best TIME"...I need to be good at it! Perfect the timing I mean!!! Thanks for being a good mentor.
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@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
3 Jan 08
well if i am on your shoes i would tell her the truth.since there is still hope to cure it.its better for her to know the real score on her illness than try to think that she is well when she is not.it could only make things worse for her if you will ot tell her the truth.
• Philippines
3 Jan 08
I wish I can tell her right away.Unfortunately my sister is a person that worry a lot even in simple things and situation.Right timing is a crucial aspect for me to tell her the truth!
@dianne17k (600)
• Philippines
28 Dec 07
I suggest not telling her just yet when you aren't sure yourself. It would only make her worry and she might even get depressed. Just try being there for her and keep praying for her speedy recovery. You might want to keep her husband informed. Keep your faith in the Almighty... I'll include your sister and your family in my prayers.
• Philippines
29 Dec 07
Many thanks for your offered prayers.Yes, whenever i can, I spend time with her and her family.Infact, we celebrated Christmas eve and we will be with her too this New year. God bless!