is there anyother single moms here at mylot that cry sometimes when they r lone?
December 17, 2007 11:46am CST
I have been doing good for 9 months not being sad about my separation from my husband. then yesterday I felt lonely. I am a single mom and I thought all these month I don't need a new man in my life. I will be freer to make my own rules for my son and I and we don't need a man in the house. Yesterday I broke down that wall and couldn't stop crying. I am still not sure if I need a man again in our life. I've been hurt alot and this is my first time to live completely alone. Some of my family says you can't live with a man to fill that loneliness it won't go away like that. Others in my family say you will find someone and it will help to get rid of that feeling. what are your thoughts on this?
2 people like this
18 Dec 07
Though not a single mom, I am a woman and from that point of view I think that yes, we do need a man in the house but don’t rush into anything just because you need it. Once hurt, twice shy holds good only as long as you give time to yourself and your son not only for the scars to heal, but to become a better judge of people. Nobody is perfect and if the first guy was the wrong one, it doesn’t mean that the second one will be the same. And again rules are meant to be broken depending on the situation and circumstances. So I would advise you not to be too rigid, but not to be too open either. Building up a great relation with you son should also top the list of priorities but don’t take it so long that he becomes totally dependent on you only and would grudge the entry of any man in your life. Another six months should be OK for the hibernation and then you should come out of your nest and start mingling, both for your own good and for your son’s. My best wishes to both of you.
• Craig, Alaska
18 Dec 07
Thank you for that awesome advice. :) I was thinking yesterday I want to build up me and my sons relationship for a while because since I his daddy left us 8 months ago he's been confused. So I am trying to teach him I love him and will be here for him and won't ever leave him. My mom's coming to stay with us next week, that I can't wait. she misses being around him. I told her I think I will stay single, she told me only for awhile, you two do need a man around the house. So I guess I will enjoy this freedom we have for just a while.
19 Dec 07
The crying is good as it helps you clean the pain and anger/hurt from the body after going thru a major situation.The body will sometimes delay for months or years before it starts to deal with the emotional aspect .But please do not think it is just for single moms.Single dads go thru the same feelings and process.I do not know if it is true that time heals all wounds,but it does help us finally work thru the pain and be able to move on with our lives.As for NEEDING a man in your life??When you find that someone special you will know.But wanting and needing are two different things.As long as you separate any physical needs from emotional needs,you will do fine.The most important man in your life right now is your son.Merry Xmas.
• Craig, Alaska
19 Dec 07
thanks for your great words of wisdom. I am doing better. I am keeping busy now and am trying to spend time with my son daily. He is the one I think about every day. One day I may meet a man i know who can care and love us both. but for now I am taking care of my son and teaching him to love and be a good kid who I hope will grow up to be great person that people with love.
• United States
17 Dec 07
I am sure it isn't just people who have children that feel this way. At least you have your son and a love between a parent and a child is a never ending love. But a lot of people feel alone during the holidays. I myself miss my family very much and sometimes wonder how different life would have been if I would have one of my own. But then, I have to count my blessings in all of the friends that I have and the joy that sometimes comes with freedom.