Trouble Making Decisions?

@kykidd (6824)
United States
December 17, 2007 12:10pm CST
For some reason I am having the hardest time making decisions here lately. Friday night we had been invited to go out with some friends for one of their birthdays at 5:00. This is someone I have known for 12 years, no reason not to go. But for some odd reason it wasn't until about 2:30 that day that I finally said yes I'll go. Ever had this trouble before. Seems really odd for me. I am used to knowing what I want for the most part. I don't have a lot of wants, but I usually know what they are. And as far as going home for the holidays, I think I finally decided I'm not going to go, but I have been pondering this decision for a month now. How's the old expression go...When in doubt, don't. or something to that extent. Anyway, our class reunion will be coming up in the spring (hopefully) so I've decided just to wait until then until I go home. Also my old employer called and asked me to come back to work, not the same position nor the same pay. It took me a week and 3 phone calls to get back to him. It just isn't like me to have so many problems making decisions. Have you ever had this trouble or can you tell me any reason why I may be having such a hard time? I really feel a little like I am falling apart here.
1 person likes this
6 responses
• United States
18 Dec 07
I have always had problems making decisions but not any more. Sometimes, our instinct is involved and does not allow us to reach a final decision because it is not based on reasoning but after such a long time unable to reach decisions properly, I decided that we have to trust our instincts and if not sure about that we can raise the question directly. Keep confident, you might have some reasons that you don't want to divulge. Hidden reasons may be interfering and I think that here is the cause of this problem. I faced a similar situation lately and refused to communicate with certain people. I was right and even though I had to explain myself, I just maintained my position and didn't allow anyone to mingle with. Best Regards and Happy Holidays, Esther
1 person likes this
@kykidd (6824)
• United States
26 Dec 07
I think this is such great advice. Thank you so much. Have a great day posting!
• Indonesia
18 Dec 07
one thing that causes trouble when making a decision : we want to please all the people. kykidd, we cannot please all the people. we do have our own life. don't ignore our need and our want. Just do our heart wants to do.
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@kykidd (6824)
• United States
26 Dec 07
This is such good advice. Thank you so much and have a nice day!
@vanities (11351)
• Davao, Philippines
18 Dec 07
yeah i have heared that too (when in doubt sort of thing...) nope havent experience that yet ..having trouble making decisions since im used of conferring it first to my husband his opinion before i do something big...minor ones (problems) i can handle..but it terms of financial matters i need to consult it first...
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@kykidd (6824)
• United States
26 Dec 07
Thanks for posting. Turns out I had reason to feel uneasy about making the plans and now I am feeling much better. Have a good day!
• United States
17 Dec 07
I find that when I'm stressing about something, I fall into the same pattern of not being able make decisions. When I'm stressing about money and my friends include me in their plans to go out "on the town", I really have a problem saying yes. I want to, but I think maybe I shouldn't because the money I'd spend going out could be put to better use. Sometimes I drag out the decision for a couple of days and it's usually my hubby that makes my decision for me. He tells me to go out and enjoy myself. Quite a few of my friends are in bad financial shape and they go out often. They spend stupidly, almost like they have an aversion to money (and I guess they do) and when I go out with them, I have fun, but by the end of the night I feel sorry for my friends because I know they're going to be upset with themselves for a few days, as they spent a couple hundred dollars they don't have. My very unprofessional opinion is you are stressing over something, the holidays perhaps? Once you realize what is affecting you, you usually see things a bit clearer and it becomes easier to make a decision. My husband is very good at reading me and it helps to have someone to talk with (at least in my case) Talk with someone close to you, a sister or brother, your best friend, whoever you're close enough with to trust and let tem know what's going on. They may help you to see things clearer and you'll feel better about making decisions again.
@kykidd (6824)
• United States
26 Dec 07
Thank you for your very comforting response. Have a wonderful day!
@maximax8 (27048)
17 Dec 07
It sounds like you might be tired or stressed that is why it is challenging for you to make decisions. Some people get more indecisive as they get older. They already have much experience with life and think if they choose option A this will happen or if they choose option B that will happen. A person like that needs to slow down and feel more relaxed before making many more decisions. I am sorry that you feel that you are falling apart. I think this feeling will just be temporary. Many people that I know feel stressed at the moment. For some of them the reason is the cold weather and for others of them it is Christmas. That is a busy time of the year and they have done too much rushing around. I hope that things improve with your decision making soon. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@kykidd (6824)
• United States
17 Dec 07
Thank you for your analysis. This gives me something to think about. Happy posting and have a great day!
• United States
30 Dec 07
I don't think you have a problem, I just think that you are getting more in touch with how you feel about things. Saying no to something can sometimes be a new experience for people. As you get older, you will find that more and more you ponder things before just jumping right into them. I find that i am doing the same thing myself theses days. At first i felt so strange taking my time to really decide what it is that i want to do, but once you get used to it your decision making will go quicker. You begin to go with your true feelings, not simply saying yes to make others happy.