do men really change?

United States
December 19, 2007 3:21pm CST
i though for awhile my husband changed for the better he stopped drinking.then i noticed he just changed one addiction for another. he takes to much pain medication. its been a struggle for the last few months to get him to cut down and he has but i dont think he will completely stop.he doesnt think its a issue. wondering how many fellow mylot ladies have husbands and over time did they change or change their bad habits? was it something you did or said. i could use any advice to help me help him. I dont want to leave him i love him too much.
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7 responses
• United States
19 Dec 07
I know I am a man, and you asked for response from women, BUT just to let you know. We men do change, sometimes =D
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• United States
20 Dec 07
tell me what makes you want to change? is a girl asking you to change enough?
@TITANC19 (33)
20 Dec 07
it is very easy to know that you must help hem you can make alot of things
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20 Dec 07
i think that men definately can change. we all can. i would say that it can just take time, lots of support and advice will help too. i think that if you dont nagg too much and just give him love and support it will all be fine
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@irishidid (8119)
• United States
20 Dec 07
No, sorry, they don't change. You would have a better chance competing with another woman than a bottle of booze.
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@vkbllm (474)
• India
20 Dec 07
I dont think so as well as I do think so... Men can be changed if they get true love. Only true love affection could change them! Unless they cannot be changed..... For women I have a billion dollar advice...... "Dont think to change a man, UNLESS HE IS IN DIAPERS" lol,,,
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• Mexico
20 Dec 07
To me it gives a feeling of something missing in his education. People don't really change, it is a nice thing to say to a partner, but do we humans really do??? I noticed in time I keep falling back to ways that my parents taught me. I can try at times to do matters differently, but then I notice after some time I fall back to the same old way. Guess the influence of parents is much stronger then we realize.
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@dmillman (2273)
• United States
19 Dec 07
I agree with LilMissB that he should go to AA and you should go to Alanon (yes, that's what it's called) there are some places that hold both meetings at the same time, but in seperate rooms. If he's not interested in AA, since he doesn't drink anymore (he might use that to try to get out of going) there are other support groups that he could try. I think CoDA (co-dependants anonymous) might be a good start. Please keep this in mind if you decide to try these meetings. Not all meetings are the same. If you don't like one, try another. I've been to numerous Alanon meetings and can honestly say that no two are the same. It really matters what you get out of that meeting. It will seem overwhelming at first, but just stick with it and do the best that you can. There are TONS of different support groups to try. Another thought is couple's counseling. I've done it before. One of you goes in with the counselor, then the other goes in and then you both go in. Just having an impartial person there to listen abd give advice is fabulous. Send me a PM if you wish to go into this any further. Good luck with whatever you do. I hope you will share it all with us as well - you never know, it could help someone else!!!
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