If a friend or family member offended you.....

United States
December 22, 2007 9:44pm CST
If you had a friend or family that did something that offended you, but they didnt realize it, and you know they didnt realize it, would you bring to their attention? If you did something to offend someone, would you want to know about it? How do you react when people offend you? Do you give them the silent treatment, write them a letter, have a bad attitude towards them, end the relationship, try and talk it out, or have someone else tell them that you are upset? Me, personally, i'd rather know if i have done something to offend someone so that i can apologize for it. I would hate for someone to go around being mad at me and never tell me! Sometimes keeping things to yourself isnt the best thing to do.
5 people like this
9 responses
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
23 Dec 07
I think it depends on the person and the situation on how i'd react. years ago my very immature friend was upset that i was moving out of state. so in a letter to me she ended it "have a nice life" like her and i couldnt be friends because i was moving. So in a equally immature move, I fired off a very mean and nasty letter to her because i was offended that she was mad at me for seeking a better life. Recently I was offended by my grandmother. When tell her the good news that I was pregnant with our third child, her response was "why would you want another one, you can't handle the two you have." I was very offended by this because my children are well behaved and i handle them quite well. I didn't say anything to her though. I was raised not to disrespect my elders and if i had said something i probably would have flipped out. if i ever offended anyone I would want to know so i could appologize. I would never knowingly offend anyone. I try to always make people feel good.
• United States
23 Dec 07
ok, well if someone said that to me about having another baby, i'd definately have to retaliate! Thats hurtful! Ive responded in mean ways too when friends have upset me, but usually i come around and apologize or sometimes if its not really worth it, i just go on about my life
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
1 Jan 08
I would tell them as nice as possible that because of something that happened to me, or the way I was raised, that what they did or said upset me. I would want them to tell me in as nice a way as possible if I did something amiss. I think it is the way that the information is given, rather than the information itself is what might make people reticent to informing others of their errors or others informing you of your errors. So if you are tactful, and do not blurt out, "look my mother made me wear lavender, so if you say one more time I look good in that color, I'll blast you!" than you will have no problem.
@rosema (1145)
• Philippines
23 Dec 07
I just dont mind them specially when they didnt realize it
@rosey3223 (1569)
• United States
23 Dec 07
Oh YA!! If I offended someone I actually expect them to tell me because I would hate to have them mad over something I did not intend to do. I don't go out of my way to upset people, but I know that I am extremely sarcastic and have a mouth on me, so if I was to hurt anyone's feelings I would definitely want to know about it so that I could immediately apologize. Now if someone was to offend me, it would have to depend on the severity of it. Most cases if it was something innocent I live it alone, but if it seriously hurt my feelings I would definitely let them know and would want an apology. After all, I was brought up to treat others how I'd want to be treated and I would want them to apologize to me as I would do the same for them. Besides, it's out of simple respect to apologize to someone if you offend them and hurt their feelings.
• India
23 Dec 07
yaaa , its right but well in this type of situation i will keep quite and try to focus on my work i knew if they will need my help then surely they will tell me. other wise might be they want to give me surprise. merry chritsmas.
• United States
23 Dec 07
It all just depends how much they offended me. Normally i dont say anything because i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. And i really hate confrontations. But if they are repeatedly offending me over the same subject then i will say something. I would want to know if i offended someone. And your right sometimes keeping things to yourself isnt the best thing to do. I know if i keep my feelings bottled up for too long i will end up exploding and going off on that person.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
23 Dec 07
I'll take this time to apologize to you Amber for being a bit firebrandish towards one of your topics. As for your topic, I'd try to talk to the friend or family member that offended me. A few family members however, do not listen, and they do not do apologies. It does make some situations and gatherings...awkward in a rather indescribable way.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
23 Dec 07
Normally i do not think we really want to offend anyone, but if i did, i had rather them tell me so we can fix the problem...I know one time i offended a friend, but she is somewhat touchy anyway, but instead of telling me she drew back away from me and she was ok while she was with me but after that she just remained distant...I don't know what i done,and i sure would not have done anything on purpose...Well i could not talk to her because she was pouting,so i just kelp my distance..I am talking to this friend again but i still do not know what i did,so i remain in the dark...I finally told her that if i had offended her in anyway to please forgive me but she said that i didn't that she was just busy, but i know that is not true...
• United States
23 Dec 07
I have a bad habit of saying things that are offensive and I don't mean them...at least I don't think I mean them. I'll have a conversation and later wonder if I offended them. If it is a close friend or family member I ask and try to make it right. Most of them know me and know that I need to just stick my foot in my mouth or think instead of just blurting things out! If someone offends me I don't usually have a problem with it and just move on so they don't think they got to me as that is usually someone's intention.