How and when do you start disciplining your child?

@ethanmama (1746)
Philippines
December 27, 2007 6:05pm CST
I have a 27 month old and he's well into his terrible twos. I know it's rather natural at this stage to have tantrums and to be very selfish but I also realize that children eventually have to be taught that they really cannot have everything they want and there is such a thing as right or wrong. With very young children, when's the right time to start instilling discipline and what is the right way to go about it?
4 people like this
11 responses
@Sissygrl (10999)
• Canada
28 Dec 07
I dont know if there IS a way to dicipline tantrums, lol really what can you do besides sit back and wait. unless you decide to give in to their want, in that case i dont think the tantrums will ever stop! Mine is only 17 months and she has had her first public tantrum just before xmas. She's only had the one so far, but she sure didn't get what she wanted and she wont. I hope that ignoring the bad behaviour will make her realize its way too much effort and doesnt get her anywhere. She is pretty well behaved, and i think i will start with the time outs very soon if the tatrums persist. She can understand english, and follows commands well. So i know she will understand sit down for 1 min. Ya gotta start with short timeouts, cause they dont have very long attention spans. . This is my take on subject anyways :)
2 people like this
@ethanmama (1746)
• Philippines
28 Dec 07
Thank you :). My son was also generally well behaved until just a few days ago. I guess it's true about the terrible twos :). My husband and I did let him cry for what seems like a long time and eventually our will prevailed, but it's terribly agonizing waiting for him to break down! I do have to read about the time outs. I'm not quite sure how it works yet since that was not what my parents did when we were younger.
• United States
28 Dec 07
Public tantrums are the worst. I always feel bad for the parent, except when I hear things like- stop crying and you can have it. I would leave the store if my kids were being bad. When they were old enough I would tell them that if they didn't quit, I would take them to the bathroom and spank them. That worked. Don't let them control you. The tantrums are usually just to see what will happen. If they get what they want, they will continue the behavior. If you show them that you are in control, not them, they will have greater respect for your words. I didn't have to make trips to the bathroom for punishment reasons, my kids knew what would happen. In 14 years of me being a parent, I've only spanked them a handful of times, and never too hard. Fortunately, I never had to.
3 people like this
@whyaskq (7553)
• Singapore
28 Dec 07
I am not a parent and hence not into child discipline. However, I have seen how 3 families discipline their child from babies to the oldest now 6 years old. All believe in disciplining the minute the child starts roaming around. Let me share the tips from one family. This family believe in disciplining the baby from day1. The parents will continue talking to the child regardless whether the child understands. The rationale - all he heard will be in the sub-conscious mind, and hence it is easier to discipline in later stage as there is due reference. The child is now 3 years old and the parents are having a rather easy time raising a disciplined child.
2 people like this
@ravinskye (8245)
• United States
28 Dec 07
I started disciplining my children very early. Probably around 10 months old. If my daughter was getting into something she shouldn't I firmly said no and moved her away from it. Then once she was a little older i would smack her fingers. Two is a hard age. The most important thing is to not give in to the tantrums. Just ignore them completely. Praise as much as you can when he does something good.
• United States
28 Dec 07
I would say that now is a good time to start disciplining your child. The older they get the harder it is to do it. It is hard to do but you must do it. When they act out put them in a timeout and try and tell them it is wrong to do what they are doing. It is better early then late to start discipling your kids. Good Luck
• United States
28 Dec 07
As soon as they understand your words and deciding not to listen is when they should be taught about consequences. A swat on the bottom is not a bad thing. Right away they should know who's in charge. Beating them is not necessary. A well timed and well placed spanking can make all the difference. Slapping my sons hand started when he was less than 18 months. I would say, "No-no, Ben." He would wait until I wasn't looking and reach for it again. When I would look back, he would pull his hand back. It was those actions that let me know he was ready for consequences. It didn't take much. Now he's 14 and I look back and think that I should have beat him instead!! Ha-ha.
2 people like this
@Sillychick (3282)
• United States
28 Dec 07
Discipline needs to start very early. Discipline means teaching. It does not mean punishment. When a toddler has a tantrum you need to make sure he is in a safe place where he can't hurt himself. Once he has calmed down, talk to him. He is probably frustrated because he doesn't have the words to tell you what he wants or needs. Try to figure it out. When you get it, give him the words he needs to identify his feelings. Then tell him it is ok to feel that way, but not to scream and kick. Show him other ways to express himself, ways that are acceptable to you, such as stamping his feet. Don't give him what he wants when he throws a tantrum, show him how to get what he wants in a reasonable way. As you repeat this process, he will get better at finding the words he needs and expressing himself more appropriately. You should also watch for signs that a tantrum is about to happen, and try to head it off by talking to him before he gets to the point where he is out of control. You can also limit tantrums by recognizing when he is hungry or tired, and responding accordingly. Tantrums are a normal part of being a toddler, but that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do about it.
2 people like this
• India
28 Dec 07
i'm not a daddy but i know some of the tips how to be with children from their childhood as a father. upto age 6 you should care them very much. after 7 you have to be harsh and even beat them to bring them under disciplinary action.till 16 years. from 16 onwards you have to be like a friend to them.giving good guidance and enjoying every joyful moment in their way and supporting in the failure time. these tips can make a better parent and make their child a good person.
@Stiletto (4597)
28 Dec 07
chaitanyamaddula - If that's how you think a parent should treat their children then I truly hope you either don't have any or that you have a wife with more sense than you seem to have. Beating? Are we living in the dark ages??
2 people like this
• India
3 Jan 08
hey you all got me wrong .......... i heard it somewhere and written it . that is not my personal opinion.ok........
• United States
1 Jan 08
My boys are older now. My oldest son was very strong willed from the time that he was about 18 months. It was hard work to be consistent in the discipline process, sometimes he wore us down and we gave in. But we tried hard to be consistent we knowing we were doing it more for him than even ourselves and tried hard to hang in there. He is now almost 16 now and still has a strong willed personality, possibly qualities that could make him a leader. If we hadn't taught him to be under our authority with discipline, sometimes in the form of a spanking when he was young, he could have had a real problem with other authority figures in his life. Instead, he is respectful for the most part and responsible. It was worth the incredible amount of time and anguish. We suffered more than our sons did when we disciplined them and that is the way it should be, never out of anger. My other boys were much easier and discipline was very rare, however necessary. I can count on my hand the amount of times my youngest was spanked. A few times in his life was all it took for him to know we meant business. Hope my experience helps.
1 person likes this
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
29 Dec 07
All my children are now grown and half raising my grandkids. discipline begins from birth. Babies can learn from birth and are very demanding. When a baby is fed, dry, been cuddled and loved and time for sleep and just want attention still you must firmly say NO time for Sleep! and Mean NO! Yes they will cry and break your heart but firmly close the door and they will soon fall asleep do NOT give in to their demands or they gain control and you will always at their beck and call. Unless they have pain or something. Most mothers learn to differentiate pain, hunger, and attention cries. As to your older child begin right now and be consistant. Do not promise punishment and then not enforce it. One warning is plenty. Then do what your say you will do. Time out, No dessert, take away a toy and for very dangerous or destructive behavior spanking if need a swat on the bottom and firm NO Mommy/Daddy means it. Always be persistant and do NOT give in not even once . Once they have cried a bit them pull them on the lap and talk to them and tell them why you are displeased and why you had to punish and how you still love them but not their wrong behavior. DO not ever bribe them or this will be a pattern set for life.
• United States
28 Dec 07
It is in my opinion that one should start discipling their child as soon as possible. Now when I say as soon as possible, I am not talking about when they come out the womb. Instead, I am talking about displining them as soon as they are able to communicate verbaly. It is also in the best interest of the parent that they do not discipline their child with a simple "time out". It has been proven, psychologically, that the best way to discipline your child is through negative reinforcement. That is, taking away something of the childs that is dear to them, for something wrong that they have done.
1 person likes this
@ebsharer (5519)
• United States
28 Dec 07
Temper Temper! My daughter is 1 and already has temper tantrums like crazy. We have started already with trying to control this issue. When she throws a tantrum we put her in her chair and when shes done crying we let her off her chair. If she finds some thing that she should not have and we take it from her she normally cries we don't give her any thing else until she is done. If she doens't cry we give her some thing else right away. We are trying to help her understand that crying is not going to help her get her way. Its a really hard process. I suggest you start now with what ever you are going to do because it is only going to be harder if you start later. Good Luck.
1 person likes this