Backstabbing people?

@bluemars (952)
Australia
December 27, 2007 8:09pm CST
Can you stand it when you find out someone close to you has talked in a negative way about you or somehow stabbed you in the back so to speak? I mean it actually hurts when you really love the person or if this person is dear to you. Have you gone through something like this or similar? I must say it is not easy.
8 responses
@balasri (26554)
• India
28 Dec 07
Yeah it happens at times to everyone including me.It is mainly because of the nature of the individual person.
2 people like this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
Yeah I know what you mean there is this one girl I know she does it so much that I don't believe she will ever stop and not for anyone, it is in her nature and she is unbelievable but it has become such a habit with her really.
@balasri (26554)
• India
29 Dec 07
We got to pity them instead of getting angry.
1 person likes this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
That is the thing I do pity her but like it is hard when have emotions invested in someone and then they do this crap to you for no real good reason.
@chari_dc (493)
• Philippines
28 Dec 07
well, more that i get offended than hurt. i mean, if i never did anything bad to that person, i don't see any reason for backstabbing me. like once, i had a subordinate who i was good to. i've never really been an as*h*l* boss to anybody. i'd like to think i am always reasonable in dealing with subordinates. but when this girl resigned from our company due to personal reasons and i let her, i later found out that she was telling things to her co-workers about me. like i give her too much load of work when in fact she is the most lax among the staff coz the job assigned to her is easier than the others. i was really offended by that but never got the chance to talk to her about it coz she already left. but her co-worker who told me about it said the rest of them think i'm okay and that they know that being their manager, i of course, assign their work.
2 people like this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
Well obviously I don't think she could handle the work and that is why probably she left and best for your company anyways because you don't really want people who don't want to be there in the first place. That is a waste of your time and the business's time too. She just might not have been much of a worker or a perhaps a real slacker at heart. Who knows but leaving the job was probably good on both accounts.
• United States
28 Dec 07
I did not love this person but I did invest alot of time and effort to help her with the organization she worked for. She desperately needed an assistant, promised to compensate well for the services rendered and then when pay-day came around, there were no funds to speak of ! Nothing to pay me with . . . Five long weeks of endless cold-calling, proposal writing, believing in a great program only to find out all this b - - - h wanted was an excuse to take a load off and use the first idiot that came along---me ! I should of done more research, spent more time understanding the red flags I should have seen and stop using 'the heart on my sleeve' as an excuse for being taken advantage of so easily even in the corporate world ! sharing the light and happy holidays, Miss Erica Hidvegi, the Enlightenment_Advisor, B.A. Psych/M.A. Transpersonal Studies- Cnslng/Author, Artist, Photographer, Entrepreneur & Freelance extraordinaire
2 people like this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
That is very much unfortunate and something that can actually help open your eyes later so in a way sometimes things like that need to happen to good people in order to let them know of the big bad people that are out there and how manipulative and very selfish they can be. It happens all too much with people like that that give from their heart and don't really get the same kind of token in return.
@emagyne (665)
• United States
28 Dec 07
Yup, go through it alot. Especially when I was younger. I found out that alot of my friends were not my friends. SOme are still around me, i just feed them with a long handled spoon. And mostly these are people that are so close to you that you just cant believe it but its easy for them to backstab you because they know so much about you. I know where you are coming from with that. You just have to be careful who you trust because people will take what they know and use it against you.
1 person likes this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
28 Dec 07
It is so hard to open up now for me and be completely honest about my feelings because I don't know if this person will value it. It is very hard when you lose trust in someone and very hard to regain it back even when things seem normal and okay. I wish it were that simple.
@emagyne (665)
• United States
28 Dec 07
Well if you feel that way then I dont think you should trust them again. But then again it depends on who it was and how they backstabbed you. To me, it depends on the person and how close i was too them. It hurts worse but if it was family or something, sometimes you have to try to forgive them.
1 person likes this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
Yeah I know it is different when it is family and or someone you care about very deeply. I don't know sometimes it just feels like there is no one that I can trust with all my heart and soul but I do wish that I could.
@zebra2222 (5157)
• United States
30 Dec 07
Someone who back stabs you is usually someone who has self-esteem issues. They are not secure in their own identity. Many times they are cowards since they don't make the effort to deal directly with the person that they have the problem with.
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
7 Jan 08
Yes that is the case in most cases because it is something deep inside them that has nothing to do with you at all but like you said an insecurity set inside themselves. Instead of dealing with it the right way they resort to this other way that gives them a kind of kick for their behavior that really only will hurt the person and themselves in the end.
@Mickie30 (2633)
28 Dec 07
Yeah I know how you mean it isn't nice when someone backstabs you it hurts and espescially when you thought that person was a friend. I have had this happen to me quite a lot in the past.
1 person likes this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
It does not help I guess when you have feelings for the person that does this to you and or you at least care about them in some way.
@seared (247)
• China
28 Dec 07
I have been experiencing it.and can you believe backstabber is a female colleague.I can't believe I have endured this for three years.he is totally a bad b* but even though, I still can't do things that he does to me!
1 person likes this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
I know what you mean you don't want to be like them and resort to the same tactics they do and end up lowering to their stupid level too. I would rather not give them the time of day to be honest with you and speak to people who are real and true in nature and don't have this negative blackness.
• United States
28 Dec 07
No, I cannot stand it when someone close to me is found to be a backstabber. That is bad for our friendship. No one enjoys a backstabber because of all the negative rumors that they could spread around about a particular individual. I try to stay away from people such as that, however you never truely find out who the back stabbers are until they actually backstab the individual.
1 person likes this
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
29 Dec 07
It is bad in any situation and especially if they say they care about you and then they proof not by that means in their actions no matter how you find out about it. It is still done and very much can hurt that person who is loving and caring to them and can be very confusing at times too to be apart of something like that.