Do you judge a book by its cover?

@arkaf61 (10881)
Canada
December 28, 2007 11:48pm CST
Or rather do you judge people by their appearance? I don't usually judge people by how they look and I"m quite happy for it, because I have met wonderful people that I might not have ever talked to if I was going to judge by the cover. But I know that a lot of people do and I suppose it's their way . It probably works for them as well. So, anyways, do you?
7 people like this
22 responses
@elsoft12 (1821)
• India
29 Dec 07
Never judge a man/woman by their clothes and a book by its cover.Its just a "cover"
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Well said. The outside does not always reflect the inside.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Thank you elsoft12 , I think that the fact that we can respond to comments and make discussions more like a real conversation is the best part of being here :)
@elsoft12 (1821)
• India
29 Dec 07
Its great.You respond to all the replies.Your patience and sense of asknowledging is really fabulous.Keep it up
2 people like this
@Kowgirl (3490)
• United States
29 Dec 07
When I was younger I guess I did but not now. Why did I change? Well my daughter was working at Wal-Mart and I was there to pick her up from work so I purchased a few items and was about to get in line at a register when a man dressed in coveralls and old work boots told me that another line was empty. I said thanks and was about to walk away when he asked if I had found everything I was looking for. He went on to ask if I thought that the items I had were at a fair price. I guess he saw the look I had on my face so he put out his hand smiled and said "I'm Sam Walton and you are?" That's when I almost fainted. He sure didn't look like a man who had millions. I have since learned that the way a person dresses doesn't really tell us anything about that person. So now I try to get to know them for who they really are and not for how they look.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
That's such a good example !!!! I"m glad that you had that experience and that it did change the way you see people. It is so true, and sometimes people that are always looking for the "in " crowd sometimes miss the most important because of a small detail like that :)
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
29 Dec 07
Container is not much of relevence. It is the contents that matters. I always go by the reiews of the books that is given in our weekly newspaper and accordingly the books have been purchased. 20% of our decision go by other readers who have immense appreciation for the author and the cotents of the book.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Too true ssh I appreciate the way you see things.
1 person likes this
@Nan110 (469)
• United States
29 Dec 07
I never judge people by their looks on the outside. I got to know a Transgendered Pagan Woman and she is homeless. She is a true friend. I looked what's in her heart. She is beautiful on the inside and out.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Yes, when we look past the obvious we often find wonderful people. I guess we end up wining :)
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
That's so nice. It's great to have someone familiar and that we like with us when we move:) I"m glad you were open minded enough to start that friendship.
@Nan110 (469)
• United States
29 Dec 07
That's so true. I'm so glad I met my best friend and I'll never give up our friendship for anything. My husband and I is trying to get her out of Los Angeles Calif. We're going to be moving to Texas soon and she's going to be moving there also.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Dec 07
Sometimes I tend to judge a person by their outward appearance, but I do give them a benefit of the doubt. Even if I tend to have opinions about them based on my first impression of them, I try to to keep that opinion to myself because it may not be true at all. But I do treat people with respect. I give them respect no matter how or what they look like. I can only truly judge a person by their character when I get too talk to them and see their actions. I do believe in the innate goodness everybody has in them.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
That sounds good to me. Keeping an open mind is important. I once work with homeless people and some of them would not give a good first impression at all, but deep inside they were incredible people. Probably that's where I learned to keep an open mind :)
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 07
It is in my best interest to never judge a book by its cover. The reason why I would not judge a book by its cover is for the simple fact you never know that is inside. I know this is a metaphore, however it holds true for every aspect of life. I remember this one time where there seemed to be a man dressed in the most raggedy of clothing. It turned out that he was a CEO of a coporation. Now, others judged him because they thought that he was just some poor old man. However, when they found that he was a big time CEO, all of a sudden, there feelings changed. Saying all that to say, I do not want to be the type of person who feels silly, and ignorant, for judging a book by its cover.
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Yes, people do that sometimes. Create their opinions from appearances and then changing those opinions when they are proven wrong. In some cases this is fine. In others just shows that it's not the person/book that interests them but what that person represents.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
2 Jan 08
I don't judge a person by their looks. In fact, it works the other way. If I really like a person, I think they are beautiful (even though the rest of the world thinks they aren't)...and if I really don't like them as a person, I find no beauty in them at all (they can be Miss Universe for all I care). But I know someone who judges a person as soon as she sees them and she's always right! Like you said, it works for her!
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
2 Jan 08
Yes, I know what you mean. It's quite normal when we know someone that we like to see that person as looking good. Sometimes it even happens that we meet someone that doesn't look nothing special and as we know them we start seeing them differently, notice nice features that we hadn't noticed before that make them look even better.
@jennybianca (12912)
• Australia
30 Dec 07
No, I never judge people by their appearance. Neither does my daughter. I brought her up to mix & relate to people based on common interests (with friends),politeness & respect. Their appearance, religion & political beliefs dont enter into the equation.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
30 Dec 07
And you did a great job, my friend. IF we all get our children to accept people by who they are and not what they look like things would probably be better. One of the problems is that sometimes parents teach one thing, but then by example are teaching something differentt. I see that with my sister in law. ALthough dad thought her and gave great examples, what she got from mom's examples - not the words - affected who she is now.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
4 Jan 08
Geode - Boring on the outside, pretty on the inside
Many years ago, my son collected rocks, one of his favorites was a geode. A geode is a pretty boring rock on the outside, but on the inside, have the potential to be very pretty. People are the same way, you can't judge the whole person by the outside, because the inside can be very different. I certainly try to not judge a book by it's cover!
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
4 Jan 08
Well said and with a wonderful example:)
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
29 Dec 07
I do my best not to judge a person by their looks because I know too well that what is inside can be totally different and what's inside is far more important. I like to say you can wrap up a cow paddy in a pretty package but it's still cow poop.
1 person likes this
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
29 Dec 07
Very true - I've found that the people who judge by looks end up having nothing inside their mental box, no brains at all :(
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
30 Dec 07
yes, quite shallow sometimes:)
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
LOL you are so right :):) I find that some of the people that judge more for appearances tend to be.. maybe a little less tuned with people in general.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
3 Jan 08
To a certain extent, I assess a person from his appearance. However, I do not mark the person because of my assessment. He still gets a chance if does not leave a good impression on me. However, I do not condone his actions if he behaves differently from his outlooks. He would have discounted himself greatly.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
4 Jan 08
Yes, you make sense too:)
• United States
31 Dec 07
No, not at all. I think its wrong to judge someone for the way they look. We dont know their story so we shouldnt judge. I know i wouldnt want someone doing that to me. So i dont do it. But your right theres probably a lot of people that do do it.
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
31 Dec 07
Yes, there's more people doing it than what we even think sometimes. Thankfully I"m seeing here that most of us do the right thing :)
@jiangli (363)
• China
30 Dec 07
yes , a book with a plain cover would attact me strongly ,despite it is not a good book!
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
30 Dec 07
sometimes we do get attracted to the cover and only discover it's not the best book after.
@fanji008 (775)
• China
30 Dec 07
Hi,there! I never judge people by their appearances.We all know that appearance can't really tell how's this person.I also don't judge a book by its cover cause I've seen many books which have good contents but not very nice looking covers.Whenever I make friends,I pay much attention to their virtue--things inside,but not apperances.Thanks for the discussion and have a nice day^_^
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
30 Dec 07
Thanks for your comment. I am so glad that I am actually finding that a lot of people here are really open minded and ready to see people for what they really are, not for how they look.:)
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
29 Dec 07
Like you no I don't as far as I am concerned it is the Personality that counts more then anything
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
It's just that sometimes people really miss out wonderful people by putting them aside just for how they look, for what it seems. Hugs twin :):)
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
29 Dec 07
I don't care what kind of clothes people are wearing, but I like people to be clean. At some point I judge people based on clean appearance. More of all, attitude is what makes a person....
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
I know what you mean, and yes it is natural that clean should be something we look for. I have to confess I was a bit stuck on that too. After working with the homeless I learned a bit more and opened up my mind a bit more, but with people in general I think clean is still something I tend to look for.
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
30 Dec 07
Nope! And I go even further; looks are also last in importance for relationships. I don't believe "there has to be some physical attraction," like some peple say. The woman that I'm with is fairly attractive, my first girlfriend was obese. But I still fell in love with her personality.
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
30 Dec 07
Yes you raised a good point. It applies to everything.
1 person likes this
29 Dec 07
A range of things. Attitude, the way they act, smile, look, think, do things, how they speak.. blah blah, I only form an idea until I gain more of an understanding of whoever it is. although, sometimes I do judge and ignore some. (example when approached "Do you have a lighter") LOL ~Joey
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
HI Joey:) Yes I can understand the "do you have a lighter?" :) I think that waiting to form and idea instead of judging immediately by appearance works better too.
@peanutjar (5198)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Hi,usually i do not and look for the inner person they are but sometimes i do and am right with what i saw.My boyfriend always assumes by the cover,a pretty girl is nice,NOT ALWAYS!!haha,etc. Peanutjar:)
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
29 Dec 07
Yes the inner person is so much more important to know that the outside. HOwever as humans we do have the tendency to judge by what we see before than by what we know. I think it's only people that are open minded and understanding, or the ones that have somehow been in contact to wonderful people with not so wonderful outside, that can easier understand this. I know that my work with the homeless helped a lot in having an open mind.
• Italy
29 Dec 07
Rationally I try not to judge a person by his/her cover, but sometimes I have irrational thoughts about people I first met. I've met a lot of awful people and if someone has something in common with them I feel awkward. The majority of time my "sixth sense" is right but sometimes not. For example, a lot of people I know who desperately want to be in the center of attention by making jokes or mocking people have revealed to be mean inside (i.e hurting my friends or me for the sake of attention) Instead one person I know at university is an attention seeker but seems a really good guy, and I'm unconfortable with him the same. I'm really irrational sometimes :D
1 person likes this
@arkaf61 (10881)
• Canada
30 Dec 07
I believe that sometimes when we feel something we might have some unconscious reason for it, and often it comes out right.
1 person likes this