Is economical life right? How should I do?

China
December 29, 2007 1:41am CST
I was born in country, the life is earthy, I have no much money, so does my family. Therefore, I'm a breadwinner, always economical usually in life. My partner was born in city, and a singleton. She is fortunate, and never disturbed by lack of money, up to now. Therefore, she is consumptive, have no consciousness of frugality. Due to the differences, I am painful, often afraid for the livelihood in future. How should I do? Who could give some advisements?
2 people like this
4 responses
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
30 Dec 07
If I read your post correctly you are saying you have had financial issues but your partner has not. If you are both working and not spending more than you are earning, life will be ok. Have some sort of back-up plan, such as a savings account or program, so you won't have to worry about the future.
• China
2 Jan 08
Er,it is difficult to express the indwelling meaning. We have lived in company with each other, but we have not the common awareness of our financial issues. I had some sort of back-up plan, but I could fulfil, she couldn't carry out because she couldn't see the financial issues of future.
• China
2 Jan 08
We have different ideology, I am economical, and she is extravagant. she doesnot agree with my economization, and I cannot put up with her extravagance. but we cannot part because we love each other very much.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
2 Jan 08
I'd suggest you try to work it out on paper. Show her why you are concerned about her spending. Love is great but it doesn't pay the bills nor plan for the future. Good luck.
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
2 Jan 08
hi nang! whew! you have quite a problem there. however, it should not remain unresolved. you can endeavor to talk it out with her. things can be resolved by a good discussion. present to her your situation and your finances, your source of income and average expenditures. you can set aside some budget for some of your wants but she has to understand that needs should come first. i hope that you can have this resolved before this poses more problems in the future, especially if you have kids. i am hoping for all the best for you. God bless you and your marriage nang! :-)
• China
4 Jan 08
yes, I also think a good discussion could resolve many problems, but my partner cannot accept this discussion unwillingly, because she thought we have different ideology though we love each other. Although we haven't marryed, we have lived in 3 years, and she knew all our situation and finances. she dilike any budget, she thought this task is belong to man, she is women, ha ha. Due to the help of her family, we have bought new house without debt. Her parents continue to afford her need, so she have not any money problem. The problem is me, I have feeled the stress, and ashamed that obtainning money from parents.
@lorelai (1558)
• Italy
2 Jan 08
I have the same problem as you, although my partner is not rich but he likes to spend money and he doesn't think about tomorrow. I prefer saving even 10$ a month than spending them on trivial things but he doesn't agree. He says that life sucks anyway and that we have to try to make it better and give us a treat every now and then. I agree with that sometimes, but not when its buying stuff that we can do without. I am able to go to 5 different stores to buy food and groceries (we have 5 shops in the range of 200m from our home) just to spend few euros less and he doesn't care about that he buys everything in 1 shop and buys things we don't need. He doesn't like sweets except 1 type of candies and he buys them for 1.59e and there's a store near our house where you can buy them for 0.99e but he doesn't pay attention to it.That was just an example but he is like that about everything. I know I can't expect him to do everything I do. I tried to talk to him and when we go shopping together he always follows my advice but when he buys alone he doesn't pay attention to prices.
• China
3 Jan 08
you are more fortunate than me. your partner could follow your advice when you go shopping together, but no matter when, my partner never follow my advice. It is difficult for me to hold back what she want to buy. As you said, she never care for the price when she buy something.
@magica (3710)
• Bulgaria
2 Jan 08
Some people say that the love helps to cope with all the economical problems including the different economical and social status.But actually the economical problems and the lack of money can influence the relation negatively, so the best idea is to try to find some solide income, a good job, not to be too much dependent of your partner...
• China
3 Jan 08
what you said is right. Maybe we have not the experience that she had, so we cannot understand her behavior. man and boy, she was fortunate because her parents care for her very well. she has never economical problems, lack of money. She always think it is normal to depend on parents. Now, she think it is normal to depend on me.