permission

Brazil
January 1, 2008 10:06pm CST
What you would do if his daughter fell in love with a former ex-prisoner who says sorry and be regenerated? You allow the marriage??
4 responses
• Philippines
2 Jan 08
As a mother, I could understand your fear that the person your daughter fell in love with might be a bad person and that his past may affect their future family. However, it's for your daughter to decide. Maybe she had seen that the guy had changed now. Is the guy is deserving of a second chance to live a good life? I think your daughter is old enough to know what's right or wrong for her. Let her know your opinion about this and hope for the best. God Bless!
• Brazil
2 Jan 08
Fortunately it is not my case!! My best friend many fallinglove and hisfather agreed to the marriage because the boy seemed to be good, hardworking,educated and good family. Today..past 25 years I see that was a mistake. She always has with him and 1 year ago divorced. Heis not bad person but has never been gentle with his wife. I talked with my brother a few days ago and he told me something that recorded in my mind:- " People can change but rather life is so smallthat not One would risk"... And i agree with him. I am in Brazil and here the prison system is not the best.
• Philippines
2 Jan 08
Yes, it's a matter of taking a risk. I am sorry to hear that the outcome was like that.
@piatos03 (397)
• Philippines
2 Jan 08
You can't choose who you love. People who are in love tend to be blinded from their loved one's negative side because they only focus on the positive ones. If your daughter wants to marry him, that's her decision. If you brought your daughter up well enough for her to be a good judge of character, then trust her decisions. But if you feel in some way that there is something cynical about this guy, then warn her. Or advice her. That's all you can do. Since she's allowed to marry, then I'm assuming she's of a legal age. You can't control her life anymore. So you either respect her decisions, or at least tolerate it. You owe her that much. Good luck with your daughter. :)
• Brazil
3 Jan 08
thank you for response
• United States
2 Jan 08
It must be very hard for you to watch your daughter make decisions that you find questionable. I do not have children, but twenty years ago, I made decisions that might not have been in my own best interest (and they were usually involved boyfriends). I'll call them lessons. None were illegal. As long as your daughter understands what it means to be Respected and Valued for herself, perhaps she should be allowed to make her own decisions? But I would not be afraid to tell her your true feelings, too.
• Brazil
3 Jan 08
Thanks...its hard to leave someone making a big mistake My brother says: life is too short to risk.
• United States
2 Jan 08
The question here is in dilemma of whether we should curtail our children, who have now become adults, from choosing right from wrong? Perhaps she sees a change in him you don't so perhaps letting her make up her own mind based on her own knowledge of this person is tough but genuinely the appropriate way to handle this. If you say no and mean no, she could do worse than just marry if what she really wants is just his time and affection right now. With little facts to go on it is difficult to suggest curtailing her wishes and actions for the better interest of who ? sharing the light and happy new year, Miss Erica Hidvegi, the Enlightenment_Advisor, B.A. Psych/M.A. Transpersonal Studies- Cnslng/Author, Artist, Photographer, Entrepreneur & Freelance extraordinaire www.enlightenment-psych.net