Trick Question,Let's see who Get's it!!

@34momma (13882)
United States
January 2, 2008 11:12am CST
When it comes to your life, who comes first? Your children, husband, work, friends? I would love to see what you all think your role and priorities are.
6 people like this
24 responses
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
2 Jan 08
I'm curious as to how this is a "trick" question I guess. That being said though...My priorities are as follows Me My kids husband/family/friends work (in my case housework LOL) and I wouldnt have it any other way really...If I dont put MYSELF first then I'm of no use to the ones I love and who rely on me, need me (my kids mainly)...so I have to be on top...My kids are an obvious second because they are my babies
3 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Yea I know a few ppl like that sadly and boy what a task it can be to get them to realize their importance! Especially when it comes to single parents where the other parent is absent!
3 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
trick questions because i wanted to see who people veiw themelves important. and if you read the resposes, there are a few people who don't even consider themselves important
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
OMG, you are so right about that one! i think mostly out of guilt. i can say that because i know that is why i was like that. i felt bad that i was doing it on my own and their father was not around, i felt like if i didn't put them first then i was a bad parent. then i realized if i donn't think of my first then i am never going to be any kind of parent to my children. now i can say they are wonderful well adjusted children who are my pride and joy
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
3 Jan 08
I didn't have to think hard on this one. I'd say my kids, any day! I'd like to say MYSELF (which is not on your list) but frankly that wouldn't be the truth. It's my kids and everything I do revolves around them.
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
4 Jan 08
I know I shouldn't but I can't. And it doesn't help that my husband wants me to put the kids first either. I actually put myself second really...coz I work out my stuff around them...but they also know that mummy needs some 'me' time (which I do make sure I get). It's only the bigger decisions of my life that take a backseat when it comes to the kids. I take a day out once in a month to be with my friends and relax. I like to read and I can do that peacefully at home without being interrupted at home. There are all the small things that I do that I enjoy...but the big picture...like a career ...I need to work on that one:)
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
3 Jan 08
yes children are very important, but don't forget you. i didn't mention self because i wanted to see if people even thought themselves important enough to mention
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I'd go children, wife, friends and finally job. The first 3 are irreplaceable to me, I can find a new job any time I like.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
3 Jan 08
hey there inked!!! good to hear from you always
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Well it use to be my son, then my hubby first but now I'm putting me first. I've come to realise that if I am not happy in my life, then how can I be happy in my sons and hubbys life too? I still give them my all when I need to but I also make sure I am getting me some "me time" too and when I do, I make the most of it. My husband is good in that sense and when I need to do what I need to do, he gives me that space :) God should also be the center of my relationship too and I am still finding my way back to him.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
now that is my girl right there! good for you honey. i am so happy you are thinking about you first! you and your family will be much better off by you doing so
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Let me just say congrats to you on a very important lesson learned!
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
2 Jan 08
It took me a long time to figure that one out though LOL I've been much happier ever since taking care of me first :)
1 person likes this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
3 Jan 08
My boys come first and foremost and always will. My hubby comes in right after that. Those are my only priorites. And I know you will say.."what about you" but by seeing my boys grow, learn, and be happy.. that is for me. Seeing my hubby happy is for me. They are my life. I come froma pretty crappy family myself, so I work hard at making sure my family is all about each other. I like my job, but if it was my job or my family.. that's a no brainer for me.
2 people like this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I hear ya. and as a mother i know how important are children are. we will do anything in the world for them.
• United States
2 Jan 08
Since I dont have a husband or children I will replace them with my boyfriend and my cousins since i watch them all the time so the order would be My Boyfriend( since I have no children), My cousins since I watch them all the time and they are always here, then my friends and then work. I dont think anybody should put work before anything that is family/friend related.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Oh I was not putting them in any order. I just wanted to know who is most important to you in your life. thanks for the comment!!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jan 08
OH.. All well, but stil that is how I would put it anyhow LOL
2 people like this
2 Jan 08
As my kids are still only teenagers I would still have to put them first. They are my world and I am so proud of them. I would put myself up there with them too as I need to feel good about myself to be at my best for them. My mum would be next as my partner is big and bad enough to look after himself, although sometimes I do feel like I am his mum too..lol
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
what about you??? not only are you not first, you are not even on the list. come on girl, you gotta be number one
• United States
2 Jan 08
Well, you already know what my answer is going to be, but I'll write it down for everyone else. When it comes to my life, the things and/or people I find most important are: #1 - First and foremost - God - for I can do all things with His guidance. #2 - ME - I'm not being selfish or anything, but if I don't make me high on the list, no one else will. If I make me high priority, I know I am at my best when it comes to everything and everyone else. #3 - My family - husband first (since our daughter is old enough to make her own choices - which I sometimes don't agree with). #4 - My friends - of whom all have contributed to my success (in one way or another). The rest will fall into place accordingly.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
now you are a girl after my very own heart!! if i had to put them in any kind of order my order would so match yours!
• Zambia
3 Jan 08
That is a very good one terilee79720! I think mine is in that order, too.
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
3 Jan 08
Actually, my cat comes first! Ha, ha, and my husband resents it. I introduce my cat first, because the cat has really nothing except an occasional meow to extend whereas my husband actually communicates. I have a picture of my cat in my wallet, but not my husband. My husband didn't want his picture in my wallet and my cat didn't seem to care one way or the other. But then he complains that the cat comes first!
@34momma (13882)
• United States
3 Jan 08
ok now this was so funny. i just want to say thanks for such a off beat comment. you know i have a doggie name cocktail, and she is right up there with the kids for me
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
3 Jan 08
Thanks, I'm really pretty offbeat. Take care
1 person likes this
@alamode (3071)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I come first... I can't possibly take care of others or do whats required of me in some extreme situations if I'm not in good shape physically and emotionally. I tried for a while to only give to others... I burned out, stressed out, then opted out... it did no one any good! So I limit worry to those things I actually have a chance to change, give advise but don't come apart if it isn't taken, and set aside time for myself to recharge and renew. It isn't selfishness, its necessity!
@34momma (13882)
• United States
4 Jan 08
isn't it wonderful to have true friends who don't mind telling you the truth rather you want to hear it or not
1 person likes this
@alamode (3071)
• United States
4 Jan 08
(blushing) We have to help each other understand how important we are to those around us... and to each other! I have been 'selfish' for a long time because its necessary to so many! Thanks, Toots... we'll make it through! Thanks, 34momma... truth is one of the most necess- ary things in life... glad you know it, too!
@luvstochat (6907)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Well I met my husband before I had my kids so he came into my life first but my husband and kids come before anything in the world and neither one of them is more important than the other. I only work a few days a week so work is not that important to me I like having friends but family always comes first!
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
family is very very important, but so are you. where are you on your list??
@Adoniah (7513)
• United States
3 Jan 08
If G'd comes first, everything else just falls into place and you don't have to worry about it! La Shana Tova! Happy New Year!~Adoniah
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
3 Jan 08
Amen to that!!
@chooochy (356)
3 Jan 08
i would definatly say my boyf, i dont have children and the friends i have accumulated over the years seem to screw me over in aevery way possibly so as far as i am concerned, aslong as me and my man are together and happy the others can simply fade into the background xx
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
3 Jan 08
that is just why you should always put yourself first honey. if you are number one in your own life then everyone is always going to treat you like number two
@dania_elm (421)
• United States
3 Jan 08
when it comes to life the proper order is your kids should always be first(if they are under 18)then your spouse then your friends then work but in this u have left you out of this dont forget to put you on the priority list somewhere i usually put myself last because i am not a selfish person growing up i saw my mom make tons of sacrafices so everybody else would be happy, guess it rubbed off
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
3 Jan 08
you should never think if you put yourself first you are being selfish. how can one be selfish when you are talking about your life.
• United States
3 Jan 08
thats easy the kids are young and cant do for themselves i try to put things in the order that help is needed except with my kids they always come first i take care of what i need then i know its right my; hubby cant do some stuff my friends need help and work well they pay me to do what i do so im kind of obligated there
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jan 08
My son comes first in my life. Then my husband comes in a close second. I would do anything for both of them.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
where do you fit in all of that doing?
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
2 Jan 08
Answering realistically I'd say my children come first since I do everything I can for them BUT I know that I should be putting myself first. It isn't in a selfish way though. I just mean that I can't put my own needs aside indefinitely because that wouldn't be healthy.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
then you need to get on it right now foxyfire. a self less parent is a giving parent
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
4 Jan 08
When it comes to my life, God comes first. He is the center of my world. Then, I would say my family, friends, and then any work that I may be doing at the time. I am not the type of person that would put earning money before any relationship. Relationships are very important to me. If I had to live in a fast pace world where there was little time for myself or anyone else, I would be very depressed.
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
2 Jan 08
the woods - This picture was taken on the way back home from Reading Pa.
In my life, I come first, because if I don't take care of myself and like myself then I can't deal well with the rest of the components of my life. Secondly, my s/o, the love of my life. He is my best friend, lover and sole mate, and making him happy, makes me happy. Making sure our home is his safe haven, when he's had a bad day is just one way I show I love him. Thirdly, my daughters, I did my best in raising them and now it shows how well I did, in all that they accomplish. And then my family, my mom and dad are important to me and have been my biggest influence and they have let me know how proud they are of what I have become. After that comes my work, I am lucky enough to be working my dream job, not many people figure that out and get to accomplish that. And above all, I thank God for having a wonderful life, an amazing man in my life, and all the other gifts he has given me.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
2 Jan 08
that was the answer i was looking for. i don't get why people think if they take care of themselves first they are being selfish. but how can you be selfish when it comes to your life. i just don't get it. good for you!!!!
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
4 Jan 08
I dont have a husband but I am a child of God first, a mother next and a woman last. So my child comes before the work.
1 person likes this
@adnanezzi (243)
• India
3 Jan 08
when it comes to my life its always I ME AND MYSELF
1 person likes this