bi racial

my boys and baby niece - this is 2 of my boys and my baby niece she is 7 months in this photo
United States
January 3, 2008 10:23am CST
how do you feel about biracial couples having children? i have 10 biracial nieces and nephews and i love them to death but my oldest nephew comes home from school crying sometimes because some of the kids make fun of him that really infuriates me that parents dont teach their kids better than that what do you think?
7 people like this
16 responses
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I can sympathize with your nephew..I am a biracial woman and growing up in a white family (I'm adopted) in the 70s was NOT easy at times..Kids can unfortunately be very cruel....Just remind your nephew that the mean kids are just jealous becuase we have the best of both worlds ;-) As a parent of mixed kids I too get VERY frustrated with the lack of proper parenting in the kids today when it comes to the differences of ppl...You'd think that in this day and age society would be past that childish, foolishness but sadly no such luck..My kids use to have a problem with when they were younger...now though after yrs of guiding them, when someone lips off to them about it they stand tall and proud and put that person in their place :-D
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 08
most of the children in mine and my hubbys are biracial we have 21 nieces and nephews and 2 great nieces a total of 4 are all white the rest are biracial they live in different towns and some of the other kids dont have a problem
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16739)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
3 Jan 08
In my opinion, every child is going to get picked on for something. If it's not racial, then it's your name or your religion or your family's social status or your looks or... the list goes on and on. Kids pick on each other. I don't like bullying, don't get me wrong. And I do think people should teach their kids better. If a child of mine were picking on someone for something like that, I would definitely explain to them why it's wrong, and punish them. I will teach my child that racism is wrong, just like any other kind of bigotry. In my opinion, you shouldn't have to not have kids just because of other's people's prejudices. Unless you're doing something yourself to harm those children (like abuse or neglect) it's not your fault what society says is wrong with your family.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 08
you are absolutely right i told him most kids pick on kids thats what they do if it werent his race it would be his shoes but i do feel that they shouldnt tease him about it he is 12 yr old and has a huge complex about it his mom doesnt seem to care that this is happening and he lives with my mom she goes to the school alot raising hell
1 person likes this
3 Jan 08
It's really sad that racial bullying still happens. He should be taught to be proud that he has such an interesting bi-cultural heritage. Poor boy. :(
• United States
10 Jan 08
thanks for the comment!!
• United States
3 Jan 08
I wouldn't do it, but if you want to do it more power to you. Kids will tease other kids about anything. I used to get teased about my weight, my freckles, my clothes, my glasses, my earrings, my haircut, my sports abilities or lack thereof. Kids are going to be cruel. They just picked one thing about the nephew that was easy to spot...he doesn't look like them. THen they run with it. Just tell him NOT to cry in front of them and just laugh it off and walk away. They'll get bored and move on. If he cries or gets upset in front of the bullies or the clique, that just gives them more ammo.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 08
he is such a good kid and so sensitive he cant help but cry
2 people like this
@whywiki (6070)
• Canada
3 Jan 08
It is hard to believe that in this day and age people can't see past colour. It is a shame that these kids can tease about it, I think it is the parents fault, where else would they come up with these views. I think all people are the same inside it is just the wrapping paper that is different. One day we will all be the same colour.
@adforme (2116)
3 Jan 08
Hi dania_elm, In this multicultural and miultiracial society, there is much diversity in relationships. It is not something that people always tolerate; but I myself do not really have a problem with biracial couples having children. If they are prepared to handle society's mixed reactions, and they have a healthy relationship that is good for the children and the couple as a whole, then biracial couples are building a good foundation for the child's life with respect to promoting healthy attitudes about relationships and hopefully identity. The child will choose how he or she sees himself or herself; and I believe the child's life and family will have an influence on how the child identifies himself or herself. Yes, the tears will flow sometimes, and ignorance along with racism will be things to be dealt with, but that is life and it is up to couple, and eventually the child to live happily and with pride. Take Care.
• United States
3 Jan 08
personally i think its fine as long as the parents know what their children will be in for and are positive enough role models for the children to help them through it i think i mentioned already the number of neices and nephews he is the only one with the problem and i blame his mom 100% he has handled it better since he has been with my mom but the damage has already been done to that child and i get so aggrivated and the way other kids treat him
@adforme (2116)
3 Jan 08
Hello Dania_elm, I am sorry to hear about the child that is having trouble coping. I think that special intervention will have to take place to help with the problem. In an environment like school, learning is most important. If his treatment is influencing his ability to learn and/or having a severely negative impact on his life; I would think it necessary to make a change with respect to his peers, where he is educated, and who is helping him cope. Perhaps a quality professional with experince in the matter of biracial issues can help.
• United States
3 Jan 08
its not affecting his schoolwork in a negative way he is now an honor student in advanced classes he has one friend so he spends all his time hitting the books which is good but all people need social skills as well my mom has in theray so hopefully it will help him
@foxyfire33 (10017)
• United States
3 Jan 08
If he wasn't bi racial he'd come home crying because kids were picking on him for something else. It's just a sad fact that kids can be mean. It is infuriating that parents don't teach their kids better about teasing but even with the parents best intentions a child can still say something hurtful without meaning too. My son had a kindergarten classmate who was quite overweight (like she was wearing women's capris as pants because girls clothes didn't come big enough in the waist) Anyway, my son is normally very well mannered and polite and doesn't really have a mean bone in his body. One day this girl bent over in front of him and some other boys and he said "You need a belt, your butt is showing" (Now keep in mind that he was fascinated with belts at the time and was only 6 years old) She went home crying to her mom about my son being mean to her and I got a rude phone call from the mom and it was all one big mess. I admit he wasn't tactful in what he said but how many 6 year old boys are, at least he was honest and to him was trying to be helpful. Anyway, I have 2 biracial nieces and a nephew (Asian/white)so it certainly doesn't bother me.
• United States
3 Jan 08
it doesnt bother me that he is biracial and he isnt 6 he is 12 almost 13
@foxyfire33 (10017)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I know it doesn't bother you, that's why I said it doesn't bother me either, maybe I misunderstood but I thought that's what you were asking...if any of us here were bothered by biracial children. And I'm sorry I couldn't come up with a accidental teasing story not involving 6 year olds, my very oldest just turned 12 so most of my child stories are about younder children.
• United States
3 Jan 08
i just didnt realize u knew he wasnt 6 and was saying thats what 6 yr olds do i have 2 of them and 3 older my older kids know better than to make fun of people seriously at what point do they outgrow it? when i was in school we made of kids but it wasnt over stuff like that the reg stuff bad hair, body odor, and yellow teeth we did that when i was my nephews age
@SukiSmiles (1999)
• United States
11 Jan 08
I am sorry to hear aobut your nephew - kids can be so mean and for so many various reasons. I am multi-racial and was really lucky when I was growing up because I didn't experience any of that. It was as I got older that I started to get it, and from adults mind you. Being called an oreo or zebra. Not getting seated at restaurants. Not getting help from a sales cleark. Coming from both sides too. I was just really glad I was raised in a way that I didn't see people that way and try to fight those prejudicies. Unfortunately parents pass thoses sterotypes onto their kids and don't even know, because that's what they were taught. Or the kids (since he's 12) are doing it because the "popular" kid is picking on him, so the others follow suit. Not that it's right mind you.
• United States
14 Jan 08
you are a very stong and wise lady. i think the main reason he gets so much static about it is that it is a small racist town i am not making excuses or saying its ok it is definatly wrong but i think that is why this is happening
• United States
14 Jan 08
Thanks for the compliment. There are advantages and disadvantages to small towns. That is definately a disadvantage. The funny thing is you never know what people will or won't accept. We lived in an extremely small town for eight years and everyone knew everyone else's business. So, I can relate to that. Good luck and I think that it's great that your newfew is managing to do so well in school despite what he is going through. Hang in there!
@pastorkayte (2255)
• United States
4 Jan 08
On this question I think it is no ones business. I am a black woman with a wonderful italian husband and beautiful mixed children and I couldnt care less about what anyone thinks or feels about it. God is my only judge and if he had a problem with it would he have made my life as great as it is. I dont think so.
• United States
4 Jan 08
first of let me say this was not an offensive question second as long as this subject affects our children it IS INDEED peopls business no one here personally has a problem with it its about how my nephew is treated dont make it about you
• United States
11 Jan 08
First of all I didnt take it offensively, not from you anyway and what I was saying is, if you have children, it is no ones buisness whether they are mixed or not and that they are precious and God made them what ever color they may be. Second everytime I answer a post that asks for my opinion it is about me.
@samila18 (67)
• Canada
21 Jan 08
Here is my opinion I am unable to have children why is another story I have MRKH look it up if you must. I plan to adopt, I want 4 children. 1 chinese male, 1 african american girl, 1 mexican boy and one caucasion female. I think multi racial familys are beautiful and i want to be a part of that, I will also have a suregated child, my husband is Mexican and I am caucasion so it would be bi-racial. I think having multiple race in your family is hard, even for today but it proves that you dont need to be the same skin tone to be a part of a family nore do you need to be born into the family, to be family. Your nephew is VERY lucky, he is being picked on and torchured which is cruel. Tell him, that he is the best! Kids can be cruel and most of them are but children need to be tought respect! it is NOT okay for children to bully other children, its not boys will be boys or girls will be girls. It is not healthy nore is it just "child behavior" if your child grows up to think it is okay to bully for your own gain, than thats all they would know. It is Illegal for ANYONE to bully it is! look it up. It would be on the parents shoulders if they are prosecuted as minors. This is NOT okay, talk to a teacher as him if he would rather move schools.
• United States
7 Feb 08
good luck with the adoptions i hope all works out well and that u and ur hubby are very happy. more ppl should be as openminded. i was not aware that bullying was a crime. ill have to get online and print the papers and i will personally mail them to the parents thank u so much
@34momma (13918)
• United States
5 Jan 08
i am not sure where you are from, but here in New York, that is not even something that is brought up. my baby girl is mixed. I am black and her father it anyone spanish. i never get anyone saying anything to her. don't get me wrong, i know it happens, but i think where you live does make a difference in what people think. that is why I love New York. you can be orange and purple and people will look at you and just smile
• United States
5 Jan 08
i live in a very small town in ohio i havent lived here my whole life so iwasnt to be like the people here you know they all have 6 figure incomes and think their crap dont stink? they are all the same BORING well i wasnt raised that way i was raised everybody is different and that is what makes you interesting
@luanakent (795)
• Brazil
4 Jan 08
Show the bible for his nephew and look in the book which say to God we are all equal. If you want ..you can talk to the school director because it is her obligation to maintain order and dignity to all equally. Dont leave the children grow up felling inferior...because he is not. Explain that it is ignorance of the people.
• United States
4 Jan 08
yeah my mom is always at the jr. high raising a ruccus i dont blame her id be mad if someone made fun of my kids for having blue eyes its the same thing
@carpenter5 (6786)
• United States
3 Jan 08
It is awful, but you hit the nail on the head. That teasing is coming from parents not teaching their children right from wrong. They hear those comments at home and think it's ok to make them in public. I had an elderly woman tell me that if one of her chidlren or grandchildren married a black man or woman and had kids that she just wouldn't have anything to do with that kid. I told her she would be missing out on a whole lot of blessings by turning them away. It's sad that in this day and age, we still look at the color of one's skin instead of what is inside their heart.
• United States
3 Jan 08
I am bi racial and when I was in school it was hard for me to fit in because some kids could be so rude and just say some mean things. Kids can be the meanest sometimes, they could say some rude things to you. Or people would always ask me where I'm from, "Who cares If I'm not from just one place, or I'm black and white!" People can be so stupid. As I grew up and I see kids going through the same thing with kids today. Parents just don't know what to teach their kids.
• United States
3 Jan 08
well i am terribly sorry u had to go through that and i hope everything has turnedout ok for you
@yanxchick (252)
• United States
3 Jan 08
I would be furious with the parents of the children. Kids don't know the difference between black, yellow, orange or any other color. They can visually see difference, but how do they know what's right or wrong. I think in years, there will be more bi-racial people. It's sad that children have to go through that kind of pain. Kids should come home from school happy and laughing and enjoying everything about their new friends. Perhaps as they got older children will learn their own views and not think about the things their parents have taught them.
@foxyfire33 (10017)
• United States
3 Jan 08
The same son I mentioned below went to preschool with a girl that had been adopted from China when she was a year old (I knew her parents). He was good friends with her. One day my older daughter commented about remembering when the girl was adopted and told the story and my son was so confused. He had no idea that this girl (definitely very Asian looking with white parents) came from China and had been adopted. So you're right small children see friends not colors unless there's been some influence the other way.
@mac1946 (1602)
• Calgary, Alberta
3 Jan 08
I do hope people do not get the wrong idea here,and I do have many freinds of other races,but please folks,wake up. so long as basically one race is classed as terrorist race,or one that spreads aids and other illnesses,there are going to be those that will hate that race. there are many causes for the hate,such as war,and age old hatreds based on religion. one reason for the hatred for biracial people is that one race sees the other race taking away men or women and basically destroying their race. there are so many reasons,and anyone thinking they can stop hatred had better give their heads a shake,it will never happen. as has been mentioned,kids will always pick on other kids for any reason.
• United States
10 Jan 08
yes but wouldnt it be nice if everyone accepted eachother as we are? no racial or religious slurs?