Why All the Focus on Changing the Past?

Human nature- "I wish I had known then what I know now"- Common term that most have said once or twice. We all have made mistakes but the key is to learn from them move on and grow from it. This is easier said than done because it's pretty easy to play the blame game instead of looking at yourself which scares a lot of people. Sure I regret some stuff but I'm not sure that I actually would want to change it, I had a blast most of the time and I learned a lot about myself which has helped me to evolve as a person. I try not to dwell on the bad or hard times, they are over at least for now, so whatever comes along I can only hope that I learned enough in the past to get through whatever may come along. Cool post...

For some people, discussing those things can take the desire to change it away. Maybe someone has a better point of view. People can come to terms with their life and their past. It's all about improving the quality of your life with a little help from others.

Yes, I understand this. I have some serious regrets about choices I made in the past, particularly about my poor career choice, and I think about it just about every day. Therefore, discussions about regrets and being able to change the past always attract my attention.

Because They find comfort in dwelling in their past and happy carrying their crosses.It is in a way peeping in to the privacy too.Try to know some juicy past of others.And at the most it is the burden of the follies of their past.

Even the bad things from our past that ARE our fault have a positive side to them IMO....and though we can't change our past (and I for one would never want to really, which is something most dont understand considering I've been through so much trauma etc etc) I find that around this time of yr ppl tend to reflect considerably more than mid-year for example....Maybe thats why theres been such a big thing recently... I personally am all about not only learning from my past mistakes but ALSO growing from everything and anything in my past and acknowledging the fact that my past both good and bad has made me the woman/mother/friend I am today and damn it thats a GOOD THING LOL

I know for a fact that lots of people regret their past, including me. But I try to handle them by not dwelling from it, but for looking onwards. I don't know why they seem to worry too much of it, when we can do better from learning from it. Changing the past, is really impossible. I learn to live my life through this saying, like "live to day and fight tomorrow." Which makes me eager to live my life for my future, live from it and not the past. Charge them to experience, as some would say. Continue walking on the path we prefer to walk to, then make the best out from it.

I quite agree with you Lecanis, my friend. We can't turn the clock back. What's done is done, as I said to a friend the other day, and however much we try, there's no way we can go back in time and alter our test results to a better one. We have to look to learn from the lessons we've completed, and look to the future, attempting to use our mistakes to make our future path a smoother and happier one. He he... basic training for the likes of you and I, methinks! Brightest Blessings, dear friend.

Because complaining about yesterday is easier than working today. Most people want to get by in life with minimum effort, causing distress about the past. If you actually put in the effort today, you will be happy tomorrow about the yesterday you had.

Nice point of view. The past is past and we cannot change them. Mistakes from the past will always stay as is and must served as your guiding point not to repeat in in the future. What is important is the present and more important is the future. It is there that we could better ourselves more than dwelling in the past and hoping to change the past.

Yes, it's over and past and we should move on bravely and face the now and walk bravely and hopefully into the future. If you're strong that is. If you haven't been squashed and physically and spiritually broken. Some of us remain pliant and weak and scared. I've been a coward all my life. I cannot change that - it is who I am. I don't know how to change and be any other way. I think people realise that if their attitude had been different then things would have been different /better so they try to change their outlook retrospectively in the hope that things will change in the present. It's possible to move into the future but things don't necessarily change much for many of us; we still bring out the worst in our bad choice of new partners. We end up alone of course, still scared of being alone and unloved, still confused about why people don't like us but finally accepting that even though we are relatively good people who are friendly and outgoing and loving and sincere we must have been here in the wrong time and place. Cos life for us here isn't a good fit. If only "hoping things will be better" actually made things better. LOL.

hmmmmm good one lecanis i think it may seem like changing the past thing but actually everyone says abt the learning the lesson thing .... and then moving on properly next time.... if something like that happen again.

I think people like you said are talking about it because of regrets or just wondering why not took the other path. Sometimes it is because we were warned and didn't listen. It's always a what if. We learn from our mistakes and sometimes it happens for a reason. I agree with you we need to focus on the present and the future.And i can say it will cheer us up.

Lecanis, I think it's partially human nature. They say hind sight is 20/20 and when you stop and look back you think hey if I didn't do this maybe this would have happened. Personally I think that everything happens for a reason and what you make of it and how you learn and grow with that situation is what makes and shapes us. I have at one point in my life when I was younger decided to look to the future and what I can do to achieve my goals and I made some very specific goals and I don't think about the past because there is nothing that is going to change so why sit and regret things. Move on for tomorrow because you never know what it may truly bring. Thanks for the discussion and have a nice night.

I think maybe it has a lot to do with a person's outlook on life. A lot of people choose to think of how their life might be easier or better if they could change certain things in their past, instead of looking at or figuring out how they can use everything in their past, even the bad things, to good. For example, as a child, I was abused by my parents. I also had so called friends that were not true friends, but just used me. Many people with a past like that would think about how their life would be better if they could go back and change it. I choose to use the experience and make it positive. For example, I know how not to treat my kids. I also know the difference between a good friend and a fair weather friend and how to be a good friend. There are many other bad things that have happened in my life, but because I went through them, I understand many things and I often know how to help people get through rough times because I understand. Hence, I use all experiences for positive, even the bad ones. I guess that is what it means when they say, 'life is what you make it.'...

Good subject and great questions. It really is useless to think about what we might have changed in the past. We can never go back. So why agonize over our past lives and mistakes? I stand right behind you in the mistake line but about all I can do is learn something from them. Trying to reconstruct the past keeps you from spending time in the prestent, which is the only time you have. The two things that the past can provide is a way to learn from mistakes and a way to think about past events that can lend to our joy. But regretting past mistakes and events is a waste of valuable resources. Meaning your thoughts are lost in the past and so are your emotions. Breaking free to come into the present gives you a chance to focus your thoughts and create helpful emotions. I agree with you, Lecanis.

I think that most people Don't learn from the mistakes from the past. Or they let it dictate their future.So instead of looking toward the future and enjoying the present, they wallow in the past.And there are perfectionists that let mistakes eat them up inside so they revisit the past to see what they should have done. I am a perfectionist.I visit the mistakes from the past so I know what to do if that ever happens again.

I"m with you. Changing the past is not exactly something that occupies my mind or that I am particularly interested. Not that I am perfect. I did make many mistakes, some probably serious, but I don't think I would like to change anything, I learned a lot from all of them, and if I had not made them I would probably still doing some more because we usually only learn with our own experiences. I prefer to concentrate on the now, and hopefully do something that will make my tomorrow better. Going back to change something. Ok maybe I wouldn't have done those specific mistakes, but I would certainly make some other.

Well, some people are just so hooked on the past, they could not get pass it to look at the present or the future for that matter. It is sad to see them wallowing in their self pity all the time. Blaming the sky, the land, the sea for everything that is what he or she is today. But never once in their life did they consider what they currently have and how they can better themselves for the future. Till the day they can do that, to let go of the past, they will forever be stuck in that limbo mode where they are passing each present day lamenting about the past. Sad, isn't it?

I think it's a common trait in all of us to "dwell" on the past and realize the stupid mistakes we may have made...the wrong decisions, etc., etc, but you're right, it really doesn't do well to keep thinking about past mistakes or wrong decisions we've made..none of us can undo the past..even though some might like to..like if time travel were possible to go back at time where we knew we had made the wrong decision and go back and change it..but alas we can't can we. I've have my share of stupid decisions I've made and wish I had the power to go back in time and fix the "wrong"--but I recognize the mistakes, yet move on...I don't let it keep me stuck..If you saw my discussion about do psychologists really help us or keep us stuck in the past...then you have my feelings expressed right there...that's why I dumped my shrink as I got fed up with him insisting I keep talking about my past...how was that going to help me NOW?? I wanted to move on NOW, and not dwell so much or keep focusing on the past--it wasn't like I had a horrific past, not exactly ideal either but no traumatic experiences there..I mean there were just so many times I could talk about my weirdo mother without puking...LOL I just got plain BORED with it As for people who do constantly dwell on the past many times I think there's a bit of the woe-is me poor me victim thing..my mom was a classic at that..NOT that her earlier life was that bad, in fact it was downright cushy..in other words she was a pampered brat when she was a kid and growing up...but she lived in the past comparing her life then with her last years of her life which weren't so cushy or pampered and she had really no one to blame but herself for her later years of life--but she DIDN'T want to move on and try to better her life...she preferred being stuck..For some people it's just so much easier to dwell on the past, stay stuck, not learn from mistakes, instead of moving on

I couldn't agree with you more lecanis. As you know, the past sometimes creeps up on us and we just can't help feeling depressed about it but, for the most part, I always try to look to the future instead of dwelling on the past.