Do you believe in 'failure?'

Aussies-Online (website) was a failure... That don't make me a failure.

Hi Aussies...I love the way you have an innate knack for getting 'discussions with in discussions' going here. As I read what you wrote I mostly agree with your viewpoint and attitude about life. I see by the two comments that posted before I got here do not...and such is life. Your view about making a conscious choice to frame things is right on for me. I also subscribe to the 'no regrets' way of living NOW...although that was not always the case in the past. How can any of regret anything...when everything leads to understanding and awareness about who we are...and are not? Like you I have also lived through many hard, daunting, distressing and even depressing events in life. However, through it all I also learned a lot about my inner strengths and provided needed lessons about love, understanding, acceptance and honoring differences. David and I have also had to learn how to have fun and enjoy life in the face of crushing financial setbacks and dashed dreams for a variety of reasons. At the time others may have judged them as failures...but we saw them...and still do as growth experiences and what we learned was worth what we went through. Like you we do not allow our challenges to overtake our belief that everything has a beginning, middle and end. Sooner or later the derailing effects change and once things begin going down a different track it deepens appreciation for the good times. So yep...I totally agree that attitude is everything...and that is something we have complete control over. We cannot control the events a lot of the time...but each of us has free will and we can choose how we respond...and that is our responsibility...no one else's. The only thing I am not aligned with your thinking on is the lack of goal-setting and goal getting. To me many of my hopes and dreams have come to fruition because I had a goal...and a reasonable 'expectation' of achieving it. When I do...the sense of satisfaction is soooooo sweet! When I am not able to do it...I look at the reasons why and after learning what I need to...move on and say..."next!" Good discussion all the way around...and as a footnote I do not believe in the world impossible. To me all things are possible to those that believe and there are many who have shown that to be true against the most daunting odds! Thanks to all here...interesting viewpoints! Raia

Aussies I try to do like you except it's not really possible :)

Thank you Raia, for your kind thoughts. Yes, I can see the 1,000th post marker in the horizon, and I will press on to reach that goal...failure's definitely not in my vocabulary as far as this achievement is concerned!There are many good discussions here in this thread, and I had a wonderful time reading all of them. And I applaud you, as the accomplished writer, consultant and motivational speaker that you are, for the professional replies that you offer to all those who have penned their thoughts and shared on this inspirational topic. Kind regards.

Ahhh...how very generous of you to offer that feedback to me. Comments and positive words of encouragement to the solitary writer I am when not doing other aspects of my work nourishes my writer's spirit. Mylot has provided a lot of wonderful uplifts for me because often when an article is published I may never know what impact it had on the readers. I value your input. What you and others share here makes this site what it is though..because without all of you I would only be talking to my computer screen. Here I am chatting up a storm with countless, intelligent, thoughtful people from across this great planet and my world always feels just a little warmer and brighter with every exchange. Shows that even though the media does not often reflect it there are many lighworkers around the globe who are contributing to the greater good of the all...what a gift to know that! Take care...and your responses here and the new friendship we are developing is of value to me. Look forward to more... Raia

Hello again Victor. Let me express my deep appreciation for the VERY appropriate quotations your brought to the table of discussion. You had no way of knowing this...but I absolutely LOVE quotations and consistently use them to frame topic ideas when I do my free lance writing assignments if the editor is open to me doing so. If you do decide to check out my Blog you will see a quotation as the lead to the topic. So each one you offered confirms what many of think here. We do have a lot of like minded others within Perspectives sharing circles...and that is what makes it so enjoyable. Your closing comment summarizes the rest of your addition very eloquently..."Those who dar not to fail or are afraid of failure will probably not achieve great things." How true that is! Great response...thank again! Raia

I believe one must reveal a little of themselves, in some instances, to make a clearer point of view to those that are reading or listening to the speaker. Though it's basically one's perspective of the issue at hand, whether they feel comfortable enough to reveal themselves to the public or not, to get the point across. As far as my thinking goes, that it is true, that a lot of what I state is personal in nature, I've got nothing to hide about my past dealings. Thus making me more comfortable in talking about what has gone in my life. And it did help in painting a clearer picture so to speak. :)

Wow...it has been quite awhile since I posted this topic...and had chats with each other. Time flies and we've been busy with work and other projects. Hope all is well with you. Yes, I feel as you do my past is what shaped me and does not define me..other than from the lessons I learned. I value the way you think...and respect your authenticity. Take care my friend..hopefully we'll cross paths and catch up. Raia

Whenever I am given the opportunity to read how people have transformed their thinking and risen like the Phoenix from the ashes of their despair it is a real privilege. That is certainly the feeling as I read your genuine disclosure about your journey and I thank you for sharing it. Each thing we share adds to understanding and awareness of each other...and it is still amazing to me how comfortable these kinds of heart to heart exchanges can actually be in a forum like this. I think your approach to each of the events you describe is admirable. Also that you opened yourself to the kind of clarity you now have rather than holding on to the sadness, loss and regret reveals how you are growing your soul in profound ways. To me it is the 'attached thinking' that all to often eclipses our joy in the NOW of our experience. Each chat reveals more of why I felt chords of resonance with you from the first time we chatted all those months ago. Yes, life has a much deeper, broader and expansive framework when we are able to let things go and move through our transitions without holding on to our judgments and regrets. Very touching response...thank you. Raia

Seems to me that no roller coaster rides means peace. Please, take away all my roller coaster rides!

Hi...and you have posed what might sound like the million dollar question alright...and whether it is or is not...here is my answer. To me success and failure are very subjective topics. What others may view as failure others tilt the kaleidescope ever so slightly and then they see that every failure contains the seed of success when perceived differently. With what you have said about doing all the right things and still feeling like a failure...I am unclear what that means for you. Are you framing the failures materially...job and career wise...interpersonal relationships...spiritual/personal growth? I work as a writer, life coach and group leader and constantly see people who feel like failures in one area of life but are shining examples of success in others. Those who are on social assistance because they fell on hard times can feel successful because they moved through their financial setbacks with dignity and grace. Marriages and relationships that fell apart often reveal insights about what needs to change and then either or both partners go on to create happier, healthier marriages the next time around. So if you want to come back and fill me in a bit more I will add more of my perspective to your question if I can. I find it hard to believe that there are not many successes within the circumstances you describe because everyone is a hero in one form or another...and how hardships are interpreted is based on our view of ourselves. We can always change our views and as we change our beliefs our outer world usually reflects it. So in my world I still hold to my belief that there are no failures...only lessons to learn. Within my spiritual approach to life we are all souls on a pathway of discovery and soul path development. Sometimes the outer appearance of failures...are the greatest teachers and foster a sense of enlightenment that would not have been possible any other way. So all outer things will eventually change and transform into something else. When we view ourselves as spiritual beings going through human experiences then everything does take on a different...of course (perspective) if we are willing to open our eyes, hearts and minds to that possibility. So did I answer your million dollar question? Maybe not...but you asked and I offered...and that is what we all do here. If you want to chat more...come back and we will. If the person you are talking about is you I sincerely hope you will take another look at what your seeming failures have taught you about life. I am absolutely sure that you are making worthwhile contributions to the lives of others and no one who does that is a failure in my books! Warm regards, Raia

Wow...very aptly put! I like it and thanks! Raia

No, no answer, but then it is not a cut and dry thing as so many think it is.. Reality is what it is. You can't change history and to say that failures are just lessons, in a way yes, but at the same time, there is always a price to pay for every "lesson". The only thing you can do is try not to repeat that same "lesson" but since there are endless ways of counteracting every "lesson", the prices start to climb and the rewards start to dwindle to the point of being burried so deep, you can't see bottom if you look up. But boy, have you learned some lessons -- guess you didn't fail after all - you were sucessful in the "lesson learning" department.

I can relate to your challenge in giving yourself well earned pats on the back. It is not something society...or often our parents or other care givers encourage us to do...because they don't feel comfortable in doing themselves. So we all are a product of our experiences and keep on doing what we know until we have our light bulb moments are decide to do something different. What helped me create a higher comfort level with 'owning' a job well done was reading what old time baseball player Dizzy Dean said..."It ain't braggin'...when you do it!" I thought to myself...you know he is right! Even if we don't toot our own horn outwardly in an egotistical sounding way...we can allow ourselves to savor positive feedback and take it inside like the warm fuzzy it can be! Good to hear you are happy and content with your life...always nice to hear because so many are not. Raia

I appreciate where you are coming from in what seems to be an ever-increasing pathological negativity within society. I will not go so far as to say that for me it is a sad time to be alive because I still see the world full of bright, beautiful beings who are doing their best to have a positive impact...but there are those doing the opposite as you wisely pointed out. Part of why I love Mylot is because reading about people's views, their care, compassion and support of others does make my world feel like a warmer, brighter place. Take care..and happy Mylotting. Raia

It is a sad fact of life that the people who are supposed to be there to help us, to pick us up when we are down, are often the ones that keep us down. Even when we are proud of our achievements, proud of things we have done they still tell us to stop bragging, stop skiting, that we're full of ourselves, that we have tickets on ourselves. Why can't these people just say, "hey! well done!". They are too busy keeping us in the gutter where they feel they belong, that anything good in life just can't be right. Its the same as when people say being optimistic is being a flake or a dreamer, and that being a cynic or pessimist is more realistic. It is just a sad time to be alive in the world at the moment I think. Which is a very sad thought to have!

Although I do understand your premise and accept it...I still cannot label any valuable life lesson as a failure. When a student 'fails' and exam...they will have hopefully gained some insight into what they need to do differently. So if learning, insight and experience is gained from any 'failure' then I still hold to the view that it is not really a failure...only something that we needed to experience to become better, enlightened beings. So maybe we are talking in semantics here...but what you call failure...I see as progress and growth. In much of your response I see a similar perspective. Either way I value your input...thanks for offering it. Raia

My sentiments exactly! Raia

Hello again.. Wow I somehow missed the extra replies to this discussion. It must have moved onto another page and I did not see the extra responses. Good thing I am going through and doing my best to catch up and hopefully hold to my 'response for every response goal' even when it is a long time afterwards. Hearing your comments, views and perspectives is something I have come to respect about you. I know for other chats that we've had that you do view obstacles and setbacks as opportunities for growth. And yes, I subscribe to your example about the biggest problems often bringing great blessings. The years I struggled with two eating disorders led me to the blessing of the work I now do. Glad you liked the topic..hope you and your family are doing well. I think of you and your sister often and wondered how she...and you are doing. The many butterflies in our home are reminders of our soul connection to our mothers and how they brought us into a closer awareness. We connect when we are supposed to...and I trust that. Warm and loving regards to you and yours, Raia

Thank you for your affirmative response...and picking out the line that resonates for you. If anyone...anywhere gains something of value from what I write and present...then that is a gift back to me. With all the wonderful comments you offer...and others who have also it makes the time and energy spent here even more worthwhile. I believe we are here to do our best to add to the quality of life of everyone who comes into our sphere of influence. As a writer and communicator and one who loves the idea of 'sowing seeds' it touches my spirit to hear that you find benefit in what I offer here. Thanks again for letting me know that...and yes, we all have our twists, turns, setbacks and scraped knees as we pursue our soul path of discovery. As long as we keep on keeping on and persevering what we need to learn will be known. That is my heartfelt belief. Ask and yes, we shall receive. Wishing you continued light filled blessings my friend. Raia

Another great perspective...on the topic and as a way of life. The cycle you describe is certainly one we all go through...and in the end the cause and effect of our choices will be revealed in outer ways. Once we figure that out we are more able to frame things in the way you presented here. Thanks for that. Raia

What you said here gets a big resounding..."YES!" from me to you. It takes courage to move beyond our familiar comfort zones...and those who do are successful for doing so regardless of the outcome. Right on my friend! Raia

Hmmmm...not sure that I agree that people 'choose to fail." That has not been my experience as a life coach, write and group leader. Have you really met anyone that openly says going into a situation..."I think I am going to choose to fail at this?" I have not. However, I do agree that those who give up often allow their setbacks to define them and they are afraid to pick themselves up and keep on keeping on. Yes, it is true as I read somewhere...it is pretty hard to go forward when our gaze is fixed in the rear view mirror. You are also right about achieving victory by persevering! Onwards and upwards! Raia

Hi and thanks for your addition. The quotations you included are very true...and appropriate to the discussion. I appreciate you sharing them. Best regards, Raia

Hello again...and thanks for your interesting viewpoint on this discussion. I totally 'get' where you are coming from. Science, inventions and other things that have advanced our civilization were often born from awareness that resurrected failures from the 'dust.' So yes, you have put some good ideas and examples and I appreciate them. Best regards, Raia

I understand your perspective...and with the examples you used can agree with it. I remember reading that you are only a failure when you stop trying and so it is. I think you are right to strive to be the first person...because perseverance and commitment plus a belief in oneself are some of the main ingredients of success. Thanks for you input and best regards, Raia

You posted this response a month ago...and I am sorry I didn't see it. Thanks so much for adding your insight to it. I know from the number of other chats that we've had since that you have mastered the concept that there are no real failures...only lessons to learn. I really liked what you said in your closing comment..."I will say that once you realize that failure is a lesson and experience there is a new found peace by accepting it and learning from it instead of dwelling on it and fearing it." That summarizes it soooooo well. Good to know that awareness is continuing to enhance your sense of self and the quality of life you are enjoying. You earned it...so embrace it my friend! Warmest regards, Raia

You too...and a great weekend...and week...month..years! Wishing you the best! Raia

Thanks Raia! Have a great day!

Hi cooldude...I think what you said really is kewl...and sooooo true. Your points are a great recipe for living...and eventual success. Thank you for offering them to this discussion. Raia. I love the cute photograph of the child with the very precious expression! Raia