An Obese Partner!!!

New Zealand
January 8, 2008 8:10pm CST
hi friends I was thinking the other day as to whether it is really possible for a person to fall in love passionately with an obese person??As far as i can think no its not possible.There may be many examples around us but they are based on mutual understanding.Its not love in its true form. Everbody today are very body concious.Everyone wants to be prim and proper ands why not?? the world gives you a chance only if you r good in shape. My opinions arent biased.I dont have a supermodel figure i am quite heavy.My observations are offsprings of my own experiences. Often in schools colleges we find obese kids and adults hiding themselves either behind a book or in some thing where they can be on their own without compant.When you hark back your memory am sure y too had mates who were obese. How do you think was others behaviour and yours too with them.Now when you look back its obvious your outlook will be changed.But what i am after are our initial responses when we all were young. Or maybe the world has come over its obssession for thin people and things have changed.I dont know and thats exactly what i am looking for in your replies. All responses are higly appreciated. Thanks!!!
3 people like this
14 responses
• United States
9 Jan 08
What I really want to know is what exactly you mean by: "There may be many examples around us but they are based on mutual understanding. Its not love in its true form." What I personally think is that you are biased. I think you're bitter about your weight and appearance and you're projecting your experiences to try to make yourself feel better about them. I was never ostrascized or mocked for my weight. For being smarter than everyone, yes. For my weight, no.
2 people like this
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
Biased yes i am thats what my husband tell me all time.Oh yes when i think of my weight it does leave me with a bad taste. thanks 4 commenting
• United States
9 Jan 08
I really want to know what you mean by saying that no one can ever "love in it's true form" ann overweight woman? What is this alleged "mutual understanding"? What exactly is "love in it's true form"? And you're married? How does your husband feel being told that he doesn't love you?
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
my dear friend dont take things personally.Oh yes my hubby would feel very bad about it.i just said what i keep thinking and yes i can think of absolutely wrong things .A psrt of me says yes another no i was in a dilema so i thought of sharing my opinions.I am frank about them and i speak of what i have seen.I am not making stories.But my lone vision dosent cover the entire universe hence this discussion.
• United States
9 Jan 08
Its not obesity that prevents those people from finding someone - its their atitude. If they hide behind a book and try not to be noticed, they will stay unnoticed. There are plenty of tall and gawky or small girls/guys who are equally as unnoticed. I know plenty of overweight people who are happily married or have relationships because their partner was attracted to their humor, listening skills, and intelligence. Believe it or not, there are people who are actually attracted to bigger men or women. In my school, the heavier girl got more dates because she developed a sense of humor and was more outgoing. She learned very early on that to compete with the prettier, skinnier girls, she would have to be the girl people wanted to be around and I didn't get dates and i was in good shape.
1 person likes this
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
hi though your writing comes bang in ,my face i must admit you are absolutely correct.Everything depends on our attitude. What i am hoping is that obese people read your reply and give their sinking heart a major boost.This will really lift up their spirits. thanks a million!!!
• Canada
9 Jan 08
I have to agree...when you exude confidence, people tend to want to get to know you. I was the one hiding behind a book in school...not because I was overweight, but because I was skinny.
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
too skinny eh??Ah life is real cruel neither this way or that way just be perfect. i guess in that case everyone is gifted with a problem with tich one is fighting.God give strength to all.
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
9 Jan 08
I think you're being quite rude to a lot of people here. Are you insinuating that because I am overweight my husband of 31 years no longer loves me? I know he does, because we fell in love the right away -- because of what is inside, not outside. I've known a lot of overweight people who have had no problem finding people to love them. I've also known a lot of thin ones who aren't able to attract anyone. I'm hoping this is because people are looking deeper than the facade.
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
hi no dear i am not here to insult anyone.No i am sure ur hubby loves you as mine does eventhough i am obese.Yes what matters is what is within you thats what is loved not just the body.
• Philippines
9 Jan 08
Yes, it is possible for any person to fall in love passionately with an obese partner. When we talk about love, it does not only talk about of having an affair with a person who has a nice and good-looking appearance. Sometimes, people do prefer to choose the inside beauty of the person and not the outside appearance only. :-)
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
urvery correct.thanks 4 the post.
@dta_kitty (192)
• India
9 Jan 08
Obesity is one of the fastest growing problems in the world today.People turn to food to even overcome depression or atleast be distracted from it.It is a sad situation.The trend of the world has been entertaining skinny people as attractive etc.Commmercials do the best job of promoting this theory.So do movies,cover-pages of magazines etc.Because of this global trend and expectation, obese people tend to stray away from social groups,they lose their confidence& self-esteem.They don't even walk upright to face people.If love was all about looking good(looking thin and fit) then it is not love at all.LOVE IS NOT WHAT THE MOVIES PORTRAY TO BE.Love doesnt depend on meeting any sort of criteria.True love is for the person NOT FOR THEIR BODY,MONEY,INFLUENCE,TALENT etc.I believe the best form of love would be to have an obese partner and help him/her with love to lose that weight consistently in a very supportive environment.Like trying to enroll them in a gym,diet program etc and also join with them, not leaving the person alone in any way.Our bodies never will look the same.If it is going to be about the body, then after the wrinkles,extra pounds & age there will be no reason for love.IF LOOKS ARE THE REASON, ITS NOT LOVE,ITS INFATUATION.It will never last.
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
best response.You r the one.Yes people need companionship.Yes thats the trick.Help them to loose weight.no one wants to carry that excess weight all life long.And with weight comes so many health hazards.Everyone before said you can love fatties but if you love someone you would even care to give her or him the gift of life.Just giving love is not important.You r not sharing his or her weight on your feet u arent undergoing any pain. Join them be with them join gyms together. Oh you r a lovely person.Y r just like my husband. Thankyou for your post pal
@k1tten (2321)
• United States
9 Jan 08
My partner is not thin by far, but nor is she severly obese. She is perfect in my eyes. A real goddess like form of curves and figure. I don't need a thin person to make me happy because I love my partner for who she is. I love her size but I love her for her. Size doesn't matter as much as who she is. My love's never going to change for her either because of how big she is.
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
hi ur partner is lucky to have you ans so r u to have someone you love.Great news.All the best.
• Pakistan
9 Jan 08
falling in love has no limitations. so in one word it is "YES"
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
very rightly said.
@talisman (1308)
• United States
9 Jan 08
Of course it's possible for a person to fall in love with an obese person! Love in it's true form is never based on physical appearance. If you "love" someone for how they look, then you don't really love them at all. You're just infatuated or in lust with them, nothing more. If would stop loving your current partner due to an increase in weight, you don't truly love them, either. Love isn't present in any of that. You do not have to be in good shape to be given a chance in this world. Are some people judgemental? Yes! Is everyone like that? Of course not! Too many people blame the wrong thing when something doesn't go their way. It's usually a self-esteem issue that causes people to act that way or to hide themselves away. Self-esteem issues can come up in people of all different shapes and sizes, too. If you have a problem with yourself, fix it or accept it.
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
i think at times the issue is about your own acceptance about yourself rather than others.Anfd yes it is advisable to get it fixed. it is a fight with your own self but isnt it the hardest war ever fought??
@nurrynoo (72)
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
You can tell true beauty of a person through the way they smile, the way their eyes crinkle so cutely when they are happy, by how often they laugh, by the way they treat people, the way they live by living and not just going through the motions. How much of that has to do with weight? or height? None. Just because someone has more body than the next person does NOT by any means make them ugly. Maybe you feel that all overweight people are unworthy of love and are unattractive because you feel that way about yourself. Just because someone is overweight does not always mean they have low self esteem. I think that by the sounds of it you need to work on your confidence and self esteem...and then you'll be fighting them off with a stick!! Everyone is beautiful. Its just a matter of getting them to see that about themselves. Good luck in the love stakes! xox
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
hi dear your reply ius closest to what i was looking for.yes everyone is indeed very beautiful.
• United States
9 Jan 08
I totally think it is possible to fall in love with an over weight person. Unless you are superficial. I was a chunky kid and then when I started sports I turned that fat into muscle but I was still bigger than all my friends. And I was picked on by the little cheerleader types until I made the cheerleading squad. They weren't calling me names when I was responsible for making sure their bony butts didn't hit the floor. Even today after having 4 kids I have managed to retain my "atletic" figure. I still have areas that I don't like but I don't dwell on them. My soon to be husband is a whopping 160 lbs. He is 6'2". My thighs are almost as thick as his waist. He loves every inch of me and me him. Some people are truly able to look past physical imperfections if there are other things there that attract them, like brains and personality.
• New Zealand
9 Jan 08
hi thats cool you r a lucky gal!!!Good you got into a position where people thinked twice before calling you names.Everyone is not that lucky.Good your bady helped u get a upper hand to get into a stronger position.All the best with your man..
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
23 Apr 08
While it's true that ppl who are obese carry a stigma with them in todays society...being in love with someone shouldn't have any bearing on their body shape. If that were the case, what would happen when someone gets old and is no longer "sexy"...do you kick them to the curb? There are alot of ppl that base their relationships on looks and physical appearance...I don't and many ppl I know don't. Looks, physical appearance, money, status...they can all change and fade away. What's inside, the type of person they are, your feelings those are what you should be looking at. My Hubby is a heavy person, as am I, but I love him for who he is and how he treats me. I really feel sorry for ppl that base their relationships on looks and physical appearance b/c eventually they will probably be old and alone while the young, good looking ppl are all out looking for other young, good looking ppl. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@youdontsay (3503)
• United States
9 Jan 08
Of course there are obese people who are loved. Mature adults are attracted to people's personalities as well as their bodies. Only the immature never get past the "industry standard" slim figures. Besides, obese people can be very passionate in their relationships.
9 Jan 08
I think when the people interest one for the ones, it is that can be happy. It doesn't matter if it is obese or no, because when love exists everything goes well. Happiness
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
9 Jan 08
"quote"There may be many examples around us but they are based on mutual understanding.Its not love in its true form. Everbody today are very body concious.Everyone wants to be prim and proper ands why not?? "end quote" what you are describing is not love in it's "True Form" as you say - but an opinion as to what is physically attractive. As opinions go, everyone has their own and they do not all match. Love in its "true form" is an act of the will and not a physical act. This mindset is very shallow, in my opinion.