I need to write about my mother....please bear with me!

United States
January 9, 2008 8:33am CST
I'm 60 years old and have just lost my mother. I realize I'm one of the lucky ones to have had her with me for this long or at least that's what a lot of people keep telling me but it makes me think. My oldest daughter is almost 41 does that mean if life follows a "normal" flow that I have less than 20 years to live? Will she be considered lucky to have me around when she is 60? My mother was my best friend, confidante, and one of my few sources for hugs and I love you's. Now that's gone and I feel like I don't know where to turn. I have my kids and they have been awesome and I appreciate them. My family is small and all I really have now is my brother who doesn't live far from me but never was into the family thing. My sister lives in PA and I'll be lucky to hear from her once every 3 monnths. My mother tried to keep the family together...she was the glue that we stuck to. She wasn't there for just us kids but for our kids in a big way. She took over for my Dad when he died because he was the one who our kids always went to when they couldn't come to us for some reason. Now they are both gone and we all seem to be so lost. All I can think about is no more shopping at the dollar stores, no more Casino's with my mom, no more holidays....no more daily calls. My mom was an Italian woman from "the old schoool" and there was so much that the kids did that she didn't understand but would back us up any way whether she liked it or not.
4 people like this
10 responses
10 Jan 08
So sorry to hear about your Mother. She sounded like a wonderful lady. I haven't lost either of my parents, my Father and I are so, so close. They both mean the world to me, but my father and I have this bond, I can't imagine what life will be like without him. I have 2 kids, a girl who is 5 and my baby boy who is almost 2 months. Growing up I gave my parents such a hard time, lets just say I wasn't the best teenager and disagreed with everything they did and at times I thought I really hated them, but now as a mom I see that all they were trying to do was protect me and I love them so much for it. I know I don't know what you are going through, but on those days when you think of your mom and the wonderful things you did together, try not to let it get you down, instead just think of those wonderful times you had together and be thankful you had them :) Keep your head up, I'm sure she lived a happy and wonerful life and as hard as it sounds, it's a part of life, we will all go through it at some point. My daughter asked me the other day - " Mommy, we start out as babies then turn to grown ups, why do we stay as kids for such a short time and grown ups for so long?" I didn't know how to respond and to tell you the truth I still really don't. Anyways, my thoughts are with you at this tough time, hang in there, girl.
1 person likes this
@mksneha (863)
• India
10 Jan 08
i am sorry for your mother...but indeed is a lucky man to have her with you this long.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
10 Jan 08
Write away ctry, we are here for you and will listen for as long as you want us too. Writing about it also helps. Hugssss to you!!
1 person likes this
@dani27 (546)
• United States
9 Jan 08
I am so sorry that you lost your mother. That would be so hard. I don't know what I would do but right now I am only 26 years old and as I am young and raising a family etc. I go to her for advice. But as time goes on you can be that for your kids and grandkids. Feel lucky that you now can be that example, mother and friend to your kids. I wish you the best with these times. But remember you can be a great example to others as your mom was to you.
@sbeauty (5871)
• United States
9 Jan 08
I'm sorry for your loss. I know that has to be a devastating blow when she was so important in your life and your family. As I read your story, I couldn't help but think how lucky you were to have someone like that in your life for so many years. I'm 56, and my mother is still living, but she has never been much of a mother to me. There was never any loving embraces or words. She never backed me up in anything; instead she'd say she had enough problems of her own and didn't need mine. She has criticized everything about me as far back as I can remember. At least you have wonderful, loving memories of your mother.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25897)
• Canada
9 Jan 08
i am so sorry about the loss of your mother. the game of life is sometimes so hard, but yet we still have to play...many hugs to you!!!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 08
I know it is hard to lose a parent but just keep thinking that you are truly blessed to have had such a wonderful mother and such terrific memories. A lot of people are not that blessed. I have a terrific mom also. She will be 71 in May and I don't get to see her for six months out of the year because she is in England. I talk to her every day but like you said, the hugs from her are what count. God bless you and your family in this time of hardship and just remember all the wonderful times you have had with your mother.
1 person likes this
@raychill (6571)
• United States
9 Jan 08
It sucks to lose someone you love, no matter who it is. I lost my best friend going on 5 years ago. He was only 22. My mom lost her dad when she was only 13 years old and my mom lost her own mother when she was in her early 40's. 3 years ago she lost her Grandmother, the only close living relative that she had. My mom is only in her low 50's and has no elder family. What she does have is the memories...and the family that is still there. That's what you should think about.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15348)
• United States
9 Jan 08
I'm so sorry that you are missing your mom. I never had a real mom but I do know that you have to really be hurting right now. My best friend right now is my granddaughter. We do the things together that you spoke of donig with your mother. We are more dependent on our parents then we realize. My mother figure was a dear aunt and she is now gone too. It is hard letting go of loved ones.
• United States
12 Jan 08
She sounds like the best mom.I am so sorry. But at least you have fond memories of her . And through these, she lives on.I am glad you are not alone.Maybe you and your sister and stay in touch more often . I hope so. Take care.