Shy kids

United States
January 9, 2008 4:37pm CST
My kids, especially my 4 year old, are so shy. It drives me crazy when they won't say hi to people they know or won't answer questions. Of course I have taught them not to speak to strangers, but I'm talking about people they know! Today a little girl from my son's preschool class came up to him and kept saying hi and he just turned his head and wouldn't even say hi back to her. I tell my kids that it's rude not to answer when someone they know asks them a question, but they still turn away and give teh silent treatment. Has anyone else dealt with shy kids? It's to the point where people must think they are rude!
2 people like this
12 responses
@Sillychick (3279)
• United States
9 Jan 08
How your children feel is more important than what other people think. Do not push them, it will only make the clam up more. Give them time, and give them a break if they don't want to talk. I was a shy child and my parents tried to force me to talk to people and it was very traumatic. To this day I have trouble meeting new people.
2 people like this
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
10 Jan 08
You are describing my daughter. She wouldn't even talk to my mom for a long time. It got to be embarrassing to me because people would think that she was being rude~ and she was just really shy. Well around 1st grade she started to open up and be more social:) She is now in 2nd grade and my mom watched her for me the other night. Mom made the comment~ "she never stops talking! For 6 yrs she wouldn't talk to me and now she won't stop!"
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 08
Haha, sunshine, that's what I'm hoping will happen with my kids!
• Philippines
10 Jan 08
Im guessing that your kids arent used to socializing.. If you let them play with other kids in your community, then they will get used to people... I know personally some shy kids also.. They dont answer to questions and they their just too shy... Its because these kids dont go out that much.. They just go to school then stay at home after school.. well, maybe thats one factor, let your children play with other kids outside your community, at first they will be shy, but they will get used to it!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 08
My kids have a lot of friedns and are used to socializing. They aren't shy around their friends-- just adults and kids they don't know well.
@moneyandgc (3430)
• United States
10 Jan 08
I haven't had an extremely shy child, just the opposite. My son would tell a complete stranger our whole life story! He is a very social child. He is so social that it sometimes scares me. We have had the stranger talk a million times! My niece Lily is 5, she is extremely shy like your son. She won't talk to most of our family if we haven't seen her in more than a couple of weeks. Even then, it takes her another couple of days to warm up again. Everyone knows that she is just a shy child. When friends or strangers try and talk to her, my sister just politely tells them that she is just a very shy little girl. Not a big deal.
1 person likes this
@nengs10 (3188)
• Philippines
10 Jan 08
Just let him for what he want now he still a little boy,I believe when he grow up he learn how to greet people,Dont push him or angry with him.Always support your son maybe because he need more attention from you than to the other people,Do not think what they are saying about son.You are a mother you know what your son needs,.someday he will be A great son of yours.
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
10 Jan 08
My friends daughter was so very shy when she was younger and never would reply back to you. But as she got older she out grew that. I really wouldnt worry to much about it. I think most people understand when a child doesnt want to talk.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
10 Jan 08
I have not dealt with such kids but klet me say that i was a kid of that type myself. i did not used to talk much with people and was very shy. My mom used to pester me a lot for it. Later I started interacting with people more and now its not a problem at all.
1 person likes this
• India
10 Jan 08
Hi awonderfullife, It is so natural that some kids feel shy to talk to other people. If it is a girl child it is much more common to be shy. After all your kid is only 4 years old. Don't force are scold, your child may get hurt. When the age progress you yourself can see the change. Please remember their attitude is not rude but they are more reserved.It is good to be reserved in the begining, because reserved children will be very bright in their adulthood. so, don't get worried. Good Luck.
@kalav56 (11503)
• India
10 Jan 08
Children are sensitive litle things and we can only gently handle them. If you teach them [if you firmly tell them do's and dont s they will resent this in their hearts and this will have worse repercussions than what you can perceive. On the other hand, leave them for that moment and ask them why they did not want to say ' hi' to that A/B/C later. They will have their childlike reasons or no reasons. But , ask them nevertheless and show that you are asking them out of friendly curiosity and not displeasure. Then you can slowly cajole them to say hi and smile and be social to strangers. Not all are made the same way and not all children want to talk all the time. If children are going to talk too much to the stranger then we are going to say" Behave your Age". So, how would they know how to strike a balance whe it is difficult for adults themselves to strike a balanace.?
1 person likes this
10 Jan 08
Most people can tell the difference between someone being rude and someone being shy. I am a shy person and i was very shy as a child too, but as i grew up i began to talk more and opened up to people i knew. It takes a while and you will probably just have your children time to build up their confidence before they can grow out of their shyness. You could always try to take them to places where they will get self confidence through doing something they will enjoy and be happy to take part in. It may take a while for them to get use to it, but it may help build up their confidence faster. ~Joeys wife
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@34momma (13896)
• United States
10 Jan 08
i think any person who has children can see when a child is rude or shy as you say your children are. and the way i see it, who cares what other people think. even more so when you know your children.
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
10 Jan 08
I grew up as a shy boy too. I really do not know what made me that way. I was just too shy that my social life was indeed very limited. The thing is I was not forced by my parents to socialized the way they wanted me to. But later in life that shyness fades in time. I think you just have to push him gently and he might slowly come out from his shell. For me I do not know when I outgrew that shyness in me although I still am loner but I could shift already from that shyness.
1 person likes this