Is this cheating?

Well, if the connection they feel is purely physical and they have resisted then, no, it's not cheating. But from what you describe it could easily lead to cheating. Plus, even if they haven't done anything...yet, it's not fair to their spouses to continue seeing each other. If it were my husband, even if I trusted that he wouldn't cheat, I would be jealous if he was spending time with someone who, not only he was very physically attracted to, but also someone he has a history with. They need to choose, each other or their spouses.

Yes it's cheating. Anytime one's emotion or physical being is being shared with another that's not their significant other, it's cheating. These people are just trying to justify what they're doing because they really know it to be wrong. Shame on them both!

It definitely is a form of cheating. They should respect their spouses more, enough to stay away from each other.

This is definitely an affair. There is nothing right about it and the people involved in it should feel guilty and ashamed. But it does not sound like they feel any of these things, especially, since they are bragging to you about it.

This is a tricky thing to happen in life. The two people perhaps should have married themselves in the first place. They love their spouses but still have the attraction that they used to have when they were going out together. I think it is alright for them to be friends but they should not have an affair. If a married lady looks at a photo of an ex-boyfriend she might think he is attractive. She might meet up with him for a coffee as a friend. But if she has a relationship with him she would be cheating on her husband. There is a line between friendship and romantic love.

I definitely believe that they are cheating on their spouses. You are not to lust over another person's spouse, nor should the other one. Whether they have slept together or not is not the issue...it's the fact that they are thinking about it in their minds and it is wrong. They are cheating totally and it's both of them if they both feel that way. I don't know how they go to their other spouses without feeling the guilt of their actions or thoughts. I would be mortified and guilt stricken to have to face my husband in this type of scenerio. Fortunately for me, I believe in marriage and believe that it is sacred and is not only between man and woman,but also between God. I don't take marriage lightly and do not even look twice at a man after having been married to my husband. He is my love, no one else. Thanks for sharing. Hope something gets resolved with your two friends. I feel sorry for their spouses though. It's heartbreaking. God bless

Sviswan, Me personally would not give any benefit of doubt and call it 'cheating' outright. I feel that the both are not committed in the first place. I would not go into the pre-marriage affair for I do not know the whole of it. But, its but obvious that the two are not committed and do not respect the bond they share with their spouses. And if at all they want to do anything, they should severe the marriages and then go ahead. If they cannot then shouldn't have had it it altogether. It's hardly possible in our social perspective and with the kind of mental orientation we Indians have to have an affair just on the basis of physical attraction. I feel, if your are very close enough, we should make them explain for many times we cannot see what's happening, we just flow with the infatuation just to overcome the boredom that is so typical of marriages. Crises come and go but the bond, love and committment help to get us going with the family that we have so fondly nourished.

Yup cheating if only in their minds and they say its physical.? I fI were then I would be staying away from each other to keep temptaion at bay.

If the attraction is purely physical, then it can't be just friendship, and I would say that unless their prospective partners know that they're meeting up in this way, then it must be classed as an "affair", or cheating. Brightest Blessings.

There is most certainly a very fine line being tread here! Cheating can be both emotionally and physically motivated; and in my opinion, forming ANY sort of relationship at a kindred level with someone other than your spouse that involves some level of intimacy is cheating. Do the significant others of each of these people know the situation? It appears to me that it will only be a matter of time before they actually physically hook up together; it's sort of as if they are telling people their circumstances as a precursor to them actually acting on it. Maybe "softening" the blow in a sense because when it DOES actually happen (if not already) everyone would have at least expected it! If they love their spouses they would keep their distance from each other for fear of overstepping the mark. If they were so compatible then they should not have married other people! This can only end up hurting people unfortunately.

Let's assume that they love their spouses but they have a physical only attraction for each other.If they acknowledge it but Never act upon it, that isn't cheating. But if they follow their feelings and sleep together, that's cheating big time. But if they are married but they never really loved their spouses and they find that they love each other more than they will ever love their spouses, but they don't make love, that 's is worse than cheating. Why? Because their heart is with the other person and not with their spouse. But if both marriages are "open". I mean that both couples agree that they can be with others and they choose to be with each other, then it isn't cheating. Why? They have an agreement that they can be with whomever. What is hard is that you don't know what really is happening in a marriage. All you can do is remain friends with them.

I subscribe to your line of thinking SV. But I feel terming it as 'cheating' will be too early to conclude. Whether they are in fact cheating their respective partners will depend upon many factors. Do they have children, are they fulling their family responsibilities. Most important is - are their respective partners aware of their relationship. If they meet each other without taking their respective partners into confidence, then it can be termed as cheating. Meeting old friends is not bad, but they should know their limits as married couples. You can just advice them, that if they remain in touch continously..it may effect their family lifes, which is not good in the long run.

I have a feeling they are treading on dangerous grounds! This sort of behaviour will only give both families unnecessary grief and heartache. They both are responsible adults and if they are aware of the consequences of their act, they must be left alone to sort out their feelings. But all said and done, the guilt factor they are going to deal with if they do something rash is quite high in magnitude. If they don't want to break up their respective families, they should stop this sort of behaviour at once.

If they are hiding each other from their spouses then there is definately something going on between them. Because if there wasn't anything going on they would be open with their spouses about their "old friends" that they have recently been contacting...

Though they claim that it's only a physical relationship, I still believe that it's cheating.. Even if their own partner doesn't know about it, they would have felt guilty enough just by having this "physical" relationship going on in secret.

I feel it is betrayal.This sort of behaviour not only spoil their peaceful life but also increase misery to their spouse.

well i think you should honestly suggest your firends to not to get into this affair since this is just going to break their individual houses.when they konw that they are happy with their current life partners then why do they want to cheat them just for a flithy physical attraction ?might be right now they are not understanding this but i am sure they will understand this one day and the fear is that if it gets too late till the time they understand it.no life partner would like that their partner sleeps with someone.i think you should ask them if it was okay if thier respective partner sleep with someone else.i am sure they wont agree to it.please stop them from doing this blunder.

If they are having an affair or have slept with each other, yes, it's cheating. If they only like being around each other but know their limits, then I see nothing wrong. I am physically attracted to many actresses and singers :P but there's nothing wrong in that xD

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you can't call it a Saint Bernard. It is cheating and they should be guilt ridden. But it sounds to me like they are only interested in what each of them does for the other physically. So they need to ask themselves if what they are getting out of each other physically is more important to them then what they stand to lose if either of their spouses finds out. I'm sure the "it was just physical honey it's you I am in love with" defense isn't going to keep either one of them out of divorce court. The way I see it is if there is something lacking in your current relationship if the relationship means anything at all to you you owe it to yourself and your partner to talk about it. You don't just go out and get it elsewhere. It's not a supermarket it's a marriage. It's ok to go to Giant if Food Lion is out of cat food. It is NOT ok to go sleep with someone else because your spouse isn't doing it for you these days. Whatever happened to commitment? Grr! Sorry for the rant. I know a couple in a very similar situation but I believe her issue is worse. She is emotionally cheating on her man and it drives me up the wall to hear her try to justify it to herself. If you aren't happy with the person you are with try to fix it or get out. No one deserves to be treated that way.

Make them imagine if the same kinda case persist wit ur spouses n they do the same wht u guyz r upto den wud u b able to digest it? I m sure they wud ve made love, otherwse physical attraction btw frnds wont ve any place if they haven't slept.. Keep d second point n make ur move accordingly.. n 2 b at a safer side, stay away frm d whole matter coz der r chances for they blaming u if anythng goes wrong with them..