Cheating! When is cheating not cheating?

@angieang (262)
United States
January 17, 2008 8:35am CST
My thoughts are on relationships that are off and on. If you break up with your significant other and go off to have a fling is it wrong, even if you end up getting back with your significant other? If you're broken up, why is it considered cheating?
1 person likes this
7 responses
• United States
17 Jan 08
i hav to agree that if u break up to sleep w/ sumone else then it is cheating because obviously they were talkin to that person while you were still dating. However if you two break up and the break up lasts a while and they hook up with sumone it's no harm done. but my thing is if you know your gonna end up back together with ur ex..then don't sleep with anybody else
@angieang (262)
• United States
17 Jan 08
That is definately a major issue you have brought about. How many people actually think they are going to get back together when they do it. Most breakups are happen because one in the relationship upset the other causing both sides to feel it is truely over!
• United States
17 Jan 08
That's not completely true.....people do work things out and get back together. i know from experience...
@angieang (262)
• United States
22 Jan 08
I agree completely that people can work things out and get back together! I'm not doubting that, but how many of the people actaully think at the beginning of the breakup that things are going to work out. I know I have been so mad that I just knew I wasn't getting back with them... then wham, I was right back with them...so how many people know wether or not they are going back right away?
@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
23 Jan 08
it is not considered as cheating! how can they call it cheating when you are not even sure of your previous relationship if it will last.an off and on relationship is as good as no relationship at all so you are free to do want ever you want and doing it with other man is not cheating.it is only one way for a man to get you and lock you up ion his turf,that way you will have to obey him,if you go for that trick....
@angieang (262)
• United States
23 Jan 08
Obey.. lol! Don't get me wrong I do go with the man wearing the pants and all, but wow, you make it sound so dominating! On and off relationships are as good as no relationship, I've been there and done that! So what would you do if you have been in a relationship for 6 months but been friends with benefits for over a year, and your significant other decides to write his ex, and profess his undieing love...how would react?
@johndur (3049)
• Pasig, Philippines
24 Jan 08
in the scenario, i would confront her ask here if she is already bored with me.now if she says yes then i guess it time to call it quits for our relationships,unless if i still want some more headaches.and if she says no,then i will accept it but with some restrictions....thats how men try to tricks women,they all give restrictions to tie her up and never get a chance to flirt while we do our own flirting somewhere....LOL!
@palina77 (1178)
• United States
21 Jan 08
i dont think it is cheating
@angieang (262)
• United States
22 Jan 08
I don't think it's cheating either. Although many would say it is because you knew you were going to get back together.... I know I was always in that angry/hurt state to where I knew I wasn't gettin back with them..then it ended up happening! Crazy the way some people look at things! Thank you for your input!
@kyuu14 (23)
• Philippines
22 Jan 08
I don't think it's cheating too. Cheating is when you hook up with someone while you are currently in a relationship. In this scenario, it can not be considered as cheating since, before you hook up with someone you already broke up.
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
17 Jan 08
I think that if you intentionally break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend for the specific reason of hooking up with someone else, then YES it is cheating. Now, if you break up then eventually meet and hook up with someone else, then no. I had a boyfriend do that to me once. Thought he was going to break up with me, get lucky with this one girl, then come back to me...NO I don't think so. You wanted her, now you got her, now go away is what I told him. It's not fair for someone to do that. I know that you probably wouldn't like it if it were done to you. You know?
@angieang (262)
• United States
17 Jan 08
I totally agree. You were strong to say NO when he came back, most people aren't that strong! Almost like the men that have a wife and a mistress.. always trying to get the best of both worlds!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jan 08
Yeah, I think that is what he was thinking, but he was oh so wrong. I know most of the time when someone isn't being honest with me. I love to be able to call them out on it and see the look on their faces, and listen to them stutter as they try to think of something to say, lol!
@piatos03 (396)
• Philippines
23 Jan 08
Some people would consider that not really cheating. You weren't really doing it behind their back and you weren't scared of them to find out about it. If you look at it reasonably, you'd see that you actually did nothing wrong because you were single anyways. It's just the guilt that makes it feel like you're cheating. Because you know that you're emotionally linked to one person, but then you still hook up with another person. Maybe people in that situation feel like they are just cheating themselves. They know that they are still in love with their on/off relationship, but here they are, frolicking off and using other people. So for me, I think that it is not cheating. You weren't together.
@angieang (262)
• United States
23 Jan 08
Yes, cheating would entail that you have to be cheating on someone. You bring up a great point on cheating yourself though! Sometimes I believe most of it is from feeling like you've cheated yourself, for not resisting the attention. Thanks for your comment, you've definately brought forth a different view!
@Dasidasi (35)
• China
21 Jan 08
Material love would always go on like this. Either you lose interest about your friend, or he/she falls out of love with you, or he leaves or die, leave you in desperate seperation. It is also our fault of attachment which prevent us to see the constant changes in relationship.
@angieang (262)
• United States
23 Jan 08
I agree, it's human nature to cause us to become attached! Its so hard to let go, and yet harder to hang on sometimes. It is definately difficult to let something you love go, but in the end I think it's best to end it sooner rather then later when someone ends up getting hurt worse than it will already hurt! Thanks for your comment.
@Dasidasi (35)
• China
21 Jan 08
Material love would always go on like this. Either you lose interest about your friend, or he/she falls out of love with you, or he leave or die, leave you in desperate seperation. It is also our fault of attachment which prevent us to see the constant changes in relationship.
@angieang (262)
• United States
22 Jan 08
I agree, I hope that eventually one of the parties in the relationship would follow their heart and leave. Too mnay times people keep trying to work it out..when in the end they'll either find another disagreement which no compromise would be made with or find the original problem find a way to resurface! Thanks for your comment!