Arranged Marriage Issues - Pro or Against?

United States
January 18, 2008 7:35am CST
In some places many people enter into married life not because they have already found the right man or the right woman, but because their parents already arranged their marriage. The agreement is only between the parents of both parties. If you were one of those whose marriage is arrange, but then you have already found your love one, would you follow your parents or your heart?
2 people like this
6 responses
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
18 Jan 08
I believe you're also from the Philippines, maybe near the place where this custom is practiced. I'm not that familiar with it, but as I've seen on television, most of them are not that happy as well with the way their freedom to choose someone for them to love has already been arranged by their parents. With no offense meant, I feel lucky that I still have the right to choose whom I believe I could spend my whole life with. But in other cases, the parents reasoning are what counts -especially when they intend to preserve their family's friendship with the other and their wealth as well..
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Jan 08
I have to admit that I have some pretty major problems with the whole "arranged marriage" thing. I try not to offend people over it because I realize it is traditional in certain cultures, but I've had friends who had arranged marriages set up for them that were very unhappy with it. There is both the issue of meeting someone you really want to be with and then still winding up having to marry someone else, but I've also had friends in situations where the person they were engaged to was already being abusive towards them, and they were still expected to marry that person! I wanted to kill a specific friend's parents, because her "fiance" raped her and they still tried to force her into the marriage... she wound up running away from home over it. Considering I'm not close to my family anyways, if they had chosen a spouse for me I would have laughed in their faces. However, even if I were close to my family, I wouldn't go along with an arranged marriage. I wouldn't marry someone I didn't love.
2 people like this
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
I will surely follow my heart. The best thing about being in love is expressing and feeling that tingy feeling inside you. That magical thing that makes you glow inside out. Having a fixed or arrange marriage is i think the worst kind of marriage. It is but a way of depriving your son and daughter to experience what real love means.
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Feb 08
I do agree with you wormzydaizy, 100%. :-) Thanks for the response
• Finland
22 Jan 08
Im from China, I think this issue was happened before 100 years in China.and the old custom will be past in other asia country.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jan 08
If it were me I would follow my own heart. I would find it hard to be with someone I don't love. I also understand that in some countries this is how it is and if you grow up with that then it's hard to do it different and to go against what your hertige is.
• United States
18 Jan 08
I would follow my heart most definitely! This isn't the stone ages anymore, and we are not getting married for financial security or the furthering of both families. When I get married, it will be for love and love alone. I feel sorry for cultures that have arranged marriages, because they rarely ever work. That's where cheating, and divorce come in a lot of the time.
1 person likes this