Should I keep the friendship?
January 25, 2008 12:47am CST
I have been liking my closest friend for 4 years,and he knows that I do like him,but he always said that there was no future between him and me.He treats me very well and said,"I don't want to lose our cherishable friendship because of the immature love." However, here is a thing that he kissed me once and we got a really great time when we hanged out together.So I always think that he will change his mind someday and we will have a really serious relationship in the future.That's why I like him for 4 years. But the other day when we talked online,he said that I was always misunderstanding him.He meant that he didn't like me in that way at all,but I thought he liked me all the time. I was totally hurt by his words and tired of this stupid relationship.So I said,"it's over for good." But now I am missing him,and I don't konw if I had made a right decision. Am I right?Should I talk to him if he calls me again or should I just let it go and lose a friend? All advice is appreciated.Thanks.
1 person likes this
25 Jan 08
I have a experienced the same situation you are into before... but one thing is different... we talked about it seriously and end up being just the best of friends... we dont want to ruin a pure friendship... it is a mutual understanding... maybe what he did is just to let go of you for the mere fact that he cannot accept that he is really falling in love with you more than a friend... he just dont want to ruin the friendship... maybe his thinking that he is taking advantage of the relationship..talk to him... as your bestfriend you know how to talk to him seriously, talk about the situation... the disadvantages and the advantages of going on a the higher ground... and whatever the result maybe.... just accept it and stay happy....
25 Jan 08
thanks for sharing your story. tell you what,2 years ago,we were in the same situation which is totally different from this time.It was in a summer vacation.We talked it sincerely and ended up being just the best friends,as you said. But I can't just be as a friend in front of him.I'm nervous and can't look at his eyes. So my friends all suggest that the best way is to end this friendship or just do not contact each other for a long time. huu~~~~ maybe they are right.
25 Jan 08
Nice and interesting. You should talk with him. Try to understand the reliability the love between both. After the view of all points, take a farm decession. Do't feel bad or found any guilty yourself, this is absulately normal and most common in everbody life. Be happy and think for future.
25 Jan 08
thanks for your responce. In fact,we have talked about this matter for a long time,and there is no answer until he had his present girlfriend.He said he chose this relationship with his girlfriend because of a lot of stuff,and he said I knew what is those stuff. Sometimes,I did think that he is not a nice guy and sometimes,I did believe he did everything for himself. But I often reckon he is kind and sweet. I am really in a dilemma.
• United States
31 Jan 08
It sounds like he has been pretty clear about your relationship not going any further than friends. I can understand why you are feeling hurt. It's so hard to like someone and not get those feelings returned. But you are going to have to face the fact that you cant MAKE someone like you. They either do or they dont. IF you can live with the fact that you will not be anything more than friends then if he calls you and you both talk it out, sure be friends again. However, if you are going to go back to it thinking...well maybe...then I would just let it go. You have already wasted 4 yrs of your life..dont waste anymore. Believe me when I tell you this. I speak from experience. Life is too short. There are lots of other guys out there the will want to be with you in the romantic way, give them a shot. Don't wast time on something that will never be, open your heart and your mind to something new.
31 Jan 08
I don't think you two have any chance to develop your friendship to love. it have been 4 years if he love you, you have been together already. but it seems he likes you much so he will chat with you or go out with you. he want to be your friend. i think you should keep this friend because there is no reason to let it go.