Give-away for fun and free ... but

United States
January 25, 2008 12:02pm CST
I have a grapefruit tree in my back yard. I don't like grapefruit, but some people do. It's there and anyone who wants some is welcome to it. A gentleman in my neighborhood always asks first, even though I've told him that he's welcome to help himself any time he wants more grapefruit. He brings me soup. He doesn't have to, but I recognize that he feels better giving me something in return for the grapefruit. I'm sure he's on a fixed income and could use the soup himself. Yet I feel that if I returned the soup he'd feel that I had slapped him. What do you think?
2 people like this
12 responses
• Canada
25 Jan 08
I think it is very generous of you to be giving it away. Where we live we aren't allowed to plant any trees so last year a couple ladies ssaid I could pick their trees. We ended up with 150lbs of apples and 75lbs of plums. I made plum jam, apple sauce and apple pie filling, and then canned it all. I gave some to friends and some to neighbours. it was really great. There is no way I could have afforded to buy that.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Jan 08
It doesn't cost me anything. I'm glad to be sharing it with those who like grapefruit rather than have it go to waste :) You're not allowed to plant trees? Thanks to the ladies, you put those apples and plums to good use, for sure!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jan 08
Not allowed to plant trees????? That's a new one! Trees are so helpful to the soil, the environment... Can't imagine not being allowed to plant one!
@Grandmaof2 (7604)
• Canada
26 Jan 08
Good Grief I wish I lived close to you but I'm in Canada. I have never had a fresh grown grapefruit but what a gift it would be. Thank You regardless for being a good sharing friend. I think the man with the soup also sees you as a sharing person. Bless your hearts!!!
• United States
26 Jan 08
I just had an interesting idea. If it's not too expensive I could send you a few. I'll find out how to ship fruit to Canada to arrive fresh...that is, if it's legal also.
• Canada
26 Jan 08
I can't believe you'd even think of it. You're such a kind caring person and I love you for that but I am 99 point 9 percent positive you won't be allowed to send fruit accross the line. I might need to move out your way, I need a good friend. hehehe
• United States
26 Jan 08
I agree you should keep the soup, eat and enjoy it. However, if you are really feeling certain he cannot afford it, maybe you could ask him to do you a favor, and that might help him feel he can accept the grapefruit. For example, if there is something you don't know how to do and you think he does, maybe even something to do with caring for the grapefruit tree... You both sound like the kind of neighbors I'd like to have!
• United States
26 Jan 08
Thank you for your comments. That's a good idea. ALERT: Change of subject -- Are you a dog shrink? I find that fascinating because I once had a dog (I adopted her from strayhood) and called in an animal psychologist because she was weird. She wouldn't eat her dog food, but did eat macaroni & cheese -- hello. The psychologist told me the dog (Cricket) knew I was a pushover and could get away with being fussy, that she'd had a litter of pups and didn't like being a mother. Do you read cats also?
• United States
26 Jan 08
Yes, I am a dog shrink! I work with behavior issues, dogs and cats. Worked with a few horses but not as a rule. I'm not a pet psychic -- I don't read them. I understand about their natural needs and behavior (animal psychology) and apply it to whatever problems. For example, a dog that jumps up on you can sometimes be showing submissive behavior (altho still inappropriate) or can be showing dominant behavior. I can tell you which one. I work with cats,too.
@TDonald (1423)
• United States
26 Jan 08
It's a normal response to reciprocate a kind gesture. Accept the soup and know you are feeding his body and soul.
• United States
26 Jan 08
Yes, and thank you for your comments.
@crazynurse (7510)
• United States
26 Jan 08
I feel that you have made a wise decision in accepting the soup. Most of us feel as though if we accept something from someone than we should offer to help them too. I really wish that we would go back to the barter system in our country, as it makes such good sense! I would love to 'pay' the gentleman who changes my oil and my dentist with home canned goods or something that I can provide that they do not have. I think you are fortunate to have such a wonderful neighbor and of course the grapefruit tree! I sure wish that I lived near you as I love grapefruit!
• United States
26 Jan 08
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, nurse. I like the barter system, too. Yes, I am blessed to have good neighbors.
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
26 Jan 08
I have the most wonderful grapefruit growing in my backyard. They are Rio Red Grapefruit developed especially for the Rio Grande Valley here in South Texas.I Love this fruit and eat one every day without fail. I'm sure its very healthy. This area was once a citrus Grove so there is no shortage of Oranges, lemons, Limes and Grapefruit. I'm Canadian and come down here in the Fall to escape the snow and ice of our Canadian Winter. In April it begins to get Hot here in the Valley. Then its time to go Back home to Canada again.
• United States
26 Jan 08
Hi snowbird -- Thanks for your response. If my grapefruit tree bore red grapefruit I might consider eating some. Mine's the yellow kind.
@coffeebreak (17824)
• United States
26 Jan 08
I had a neighbor (we moved) that had a little garden, but even then grew to much for the 2 of them and alawys shared his tomatoes, green onions (the best - forget the chocolate, give me this guys onions for dessert! They were SO good!) cucumbers, tangerines, and lemons. It was so nice. I don't have anything like that but I shared/passed on kids clothes and books to neighbor kids and families. Nice (at least I hope) to know I am helping kids to read - instead of on those video games all the time!
• United States
26 Jan 08
Fruits and vegetables for books and clothes -- it's a lovely exchange. Sharing is what it's all about. Thank you for your thoughtful response.
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
25 Jan 08
well some people just dont know how to receive things or perhaps they feel guilty. my daughter is like that (she is 10), she says she feels guilty when someone gives her something sometimes - maybe this gentleman is just a kind man and believes he is doing his part??? dunno...
• United States
25 Jan 08
Thanks for your feedback, cher. It's a win-win, and it's lovely weather for soup :)
@Lindalinda (4116)
• Canada
25 Jan 08
Keep the soup. It is his way to thank you for the grapefruit even though he knows you have no use for them. He also sounds like a real geentleman becuse he asks first before he picks them. It is nice to have considerate neighbours like that.
• United States
25 Jan 08
It is nice to have neighbors like him, which is a blessing in itself. Thank you for your response.
• United States
25 Jan 08
I feel the same Joyce, never refuse a kindness. When we give to people we have a selfish satisfaction in doing so. It gives us worth and lets us feel as if we are reaching out to other people, even with something as simple as soup in exchange for grapefruit. I would never tell him No thank you, I would make it clear it is not something you expect, but when it is offered just take it.
• United States
25 Jan 08
Thank you, angel. Your thoughts confirm what I thought.
@lilybug (21182)
• United States
25 Jan 08
I would try to tell him again that it is not necessary, but accept the soup anyway. If he is giving you something in return then if feels like less of a handout to him.
• United States
25 Jan 08
Thank you. We're on the same page and I respect his values graciously.
@aseretdd (13712)
• Philippines
28 Jan 08
I think you should just take the soup... it would make him feel better that way... some people have this tendency to feel guilty when they take things from others eventhough these things were given for free...so it makes them feel better when they return the complement even if it is just a simple soup or a candy...