Do You Let Your Past Judge Your Present?

United States
January 25, 2008 11:36pm CST
Is there something in your past that happened to you that makes you cautious about things that happen today? Maybe you were attacked by a dog and now you steer clear of dogs all together. Maybe you got your face slammed into a Birthday Cake one too many times as a kid so now on your birthdays you want pie. Maybe you had one too many partners cheat on you and now you don't want to let the person you are with out of your sight. Do you have something that happened to you? What was it? Have you gotten over it? If so, how?
8 responses
@theprogamer (10543)
• United States
26 Jan 08
Of course, it'd be very hard not to. The past holds lessons a person needs to reflect on, take to heart and properly learn. With relationships its the same but much more thought needs to be put into it. There are also adjustments one can do with current or future relationships. One can be afraid to be cheated on again, but be honest and talk to your partner about it. One might be afraid of the dating scene, in that case just temper your resolve a bit, or maybe find another public place to frequent. If you see a bad pattern of partners perhaps something different is needed, or much more scrutiny maybe needed in the discovery/meeting phase of the relationship. Its about adaptation to what you've experienced in the past and applying countermeasures reasonably to the present and future. Some try to wipe the slate, but is that really effective. No matter what tricks or self-help you are employing, your past will be permanent. There's no avoiding this, and ignoring it could lead to the same path experienced before in other relationships.
1 person likes this
@danzer (2732)
• Philippines
26 Jan 08
I don't let my past judge my present but it's a lesson not to repeat past mistakes.
• United States
26 Jan 08
How do you not let the past judge your present if that is the lesson you learned in the past? That's like saying "I burned my hand on a hot stove when I was little so now I never touch the burners, but not because I burned my hand." I think we all have something that happened to us at one time in our past that is the main influence of how we are about a particular subject or that is the cause of how we may act in a certain situation.
• United States
28 Jan 08
There is a reason why our past is in the past. It's meant to be learned from and then you move on. I don't let what happened to me in the past dictate how I live my life. Otherwise, I'd never ride in a car as I have been in 2 wrecks. I'd never fly on an airplane because a friend of mine was in a plane crash. I'd never rollerblade again because I broke my ankle. I'd also never date again as my first love broke my heart. We learn. We move on. We live.
@michelyn (717)
• United States
27 Jan 08
I believe it's a bit contradictory to say that you don't let your past judge your present because that's like saying that you haven't learned any lessons along the way. Let's not say that every lesson is necessarily a mistake because it doesn't have to be. During my first marriage, I quickly came to understand that if I wanted something done, I'd better do it myself because no one else was going to help me. That included taking care of the kids, baby-proofing the house, clothing the kids, feeding them, fixing things around the house, etc... So I learned to be more independent and not expect other people to get things done. The only problem is that I'm no longer physically capable of being the "Superwoman" that I taught myself to be. I have a lot of problems with my back and trying to do everything myself is just bad decision-making. It's a hard habit to break though. I ask my current husband to do something and if I need to ask it again, then I would rather just do it myself. I'm just now learning that it's okay to ask for help because not everyone is my ex-husband. Not to mention, I just had back surgery, so I'm really having to learn to be dependent on someone again.
• Philippines
26 Jan 08
I committed some mistakes in the past. I may not regret that I did them but I am more cautious now. Somehow, the past affects the present but it's up to us to handle our lives. If there are bad things in the past that happened, we should learn from our mistakes and not continue doing something which caused us pain or harm. If there are good things in the past, I think we should keep up the good work. In my case, I believe that I have moved on through the help of the people around. But of course, moving on is a decision that you have to make. Not even your closest friends or the person who cares for you make you move on, if you do not help yourself. I do not let the past be a hindrance to my future happiness.
@jamlecat (59)
• Canada
26 Jan 08
I am cautious about getting burnt by users and criminals but i learned to be a little more cautious and take my time now. i haven't really been able to get back into the dating scene since though, any advice, I have talked to someone for over a yr online that is ok, and i went on one date and the person was not attractive at all and they lied about thier drinking habits,so i ended that to my benefit of good health.
@eftychiap (349)
• Cyprus
26 Jan 08
I totally agree with danzer above. We learn from past mistakes. The most important thing though is to remember that the past belongs to the past! We should never let the past judge the present since we could only cause frustration and serious problems
@SViswan (12095)
• India
26 Jan 08
I'm sure most people let their past judge their present. It's our experiences which make us who we are. I've had a few bad experiences being friendly too quickly...so now I wait and get a better picture of a person before I start being friendly. It might seem like I am cold and aloof at first...but I'd rather take the chance of a person not liking me than suffer later. And I have to say that it's worked better than being over friendly and I have some good friends now.