Shes how old?

United States
January 27, 2008 1:06am CST
Well one of my guys friends called me all happy. Hes now in a new relationship. So of course when he told me I was all full of questions because I didn't even know he was interested in anyone at the moment. Well during the conversation he told me how old this woman is. My guy frien is my age, he is 26 years old. The woman is 44 years old. She always twice his age. Well when I addressed my concern about her age he got quite annoyed with me. I just think the age gap is too much. He wants kids. Her kids are teenagers. It's not like she wants to have anymore kids. She'll be going through menopause in a few years. Yea I should have probably minded my own business. But anyone that knows me knows that thats not happening. I speak my mind. I can't help it nor do I want to help it. I just don't see the relationship working. I really think hes gonna end up hurt in the end. And so no one speculates no I do not have feelings like that for this guy. He is strictly just a friend. So is anyone in a relationship like this with such an age gap? Or does anyone know anyone in this type of relationship? what is your thoughts on this? Do you have age rules when dating? Me I pretty much stick to the whole 5 year thing. I don't really ever date younger guys, and do not date guys who are over 5 years older than me.
3 people like this
8 responses
@roberten (3131)
• United States
28 Jan 08
Oh, the boy is just living out a fantasy-LOL-it'll be alright. All things in perspective, he may learn a few things he can use throughout his lifetime. If he is happy and she is happy, I say go for it. This world is so turned around that not much makes sense anymore, it just is. We live and learn (hopefully). Good luck to them both, I hope they enjoy their time together.
27 Jan 08
Age gapped relationships aren't impossible, but they are less likely to last, and are usually fraught with more difficulty, for one reason or another. Too many differences can be a bad thing. But if he's willing to sacrifice for those things, and really loves her, and develops a meaningful relationship... good for him. I'm just worried that she'll feel weird when she's old and grey and he's just barely getting there.
@vera5d (4007)
• United States
27 Jan 08
my husband is 7 years older than me...it is not too much of a gap...i kind of like that he was more mature than guys my age in terms of growing up & getting kids & married, etc. But we got together at the right time - if I had dated him when i was in high school it would have seemed outrageous! I don't see any possibility for long-term for your friend. I guess you can just let it go for the time being...and when it's over then you can gloat on the "i-told-you-so"...but usually if you make a big deal out of it that will just make them want to try to make it work even more...
• United States
27 Jan 08
When I was single and just dating around, I tried dating someone older, thinking heck I won't find him at the bars, he's already set in his career, yada yada yada...he wined me , he dined me..bought me fancy things...yeah ..then I saw the old viagra bottle on his bureau, I said to myself "wtf are you thinking?" I wound up catching a nasty sneezing fit and just had to get home to take some sudafed..lol I learned very quickly to stick with guys my own age..I just wasn't ready to address "erectile disfunctions" with a guy yet,lol my man is only a month older...not quite a month actually, I like it just fine... but to address your friend's situation, I have noticed a man likes an older woman for some reason...
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
27 Jan 08
Well, I really do not think that he should have gotten annoyed with you. If he is your friend, then he knows how you are, you speak your mind. I admire that quality in people. I try my best to be that way, but sometimes it is real difficult. I believe that a real friend should tell you the truth and not just what you want to here. If he wanted a friend to just agree with him without saying anything, he should have called someone else. That is a couple in my apartment like that. He is like my age, 38 and she is 63. She is still very attractive for her age. She has a slim figure and dresses real nice. The only thing is, she is a big flirt. She flirts with a lot of different men all the time. I think that it is a game to make her feel good about herself. As far as I know, he is faithful to her. But, just today, she told me that another guy in the apartment asked her to marry him and she is wearing his ring. I was wondering why I kept seeing them together when her boyfriend was not around. She actually got him with her flirting. She was supposedly engaged to someone else when she told her boyfriend that he was her fantasy. Apparently, that is all his ego needed to hear. She never did stop flirting. Men do are so arrogant sometimes, that they don't realize that if she will burn another guy, she will burn you too. I hope that your friend does not get hurt, but if he does, you will be there for him.
@slavezero (835)
• Philippines
27 Jan 08
Well, I believe in terms of happiness age doesn't matter. Though as you have said, there would be a lot of things taht will make their relationship complicated... like having kids, and the people around them. But in my opinion, if they are really happy with each other and they want to stay together then they can work out with those problems. Being doesn't mean we have to follow the standards that is usual to other. Its being contented with what you have already.
@lisaviews (184)
• United States
27 Jan 08
I can see why you are so apprehensive. You are concerned about your friend. But... maybe he called you because he was happy he was getting some good some-some... Afterall, a woman that age could still be at her peak... or maybe this is an "experience" relationship for him. Look at the benefits... it could get him ready for teenagers, and he probably already realizes it wouldn't be long-term.
@lilaclady (28245)
• Australia
27 Jan 08
I have had younger men in relationships, not quite that big I guess, I would say 14years would be my record but I have been told by some I don't look my age and I have been told I don't act my age and I have always been attracted to younger men so maybe some people are stuck in an age warp but I think the only problem with your friends situation is the wanting kids part...but what is the best answer, possiblu being in a not so happy marriage with kids or a great one without which very well might be the choice.... hmmmmmm.