Should men cry?

Crying Man - Man crying very hard.
@zeloguy (4913)
United States
January 28, 2008 2:57pm CST
My wife is from Morocco (arabic Country) where men do not cry... over ANYTHING. Is it OK for man to cry or show emotion or should he 'take it like a man' and be the rock of the household?Does crying show weakness or caring? Would love to hear your thoughts.
8 people like this
39 responses
@crazylife (855)
• United States
28 Jan 08
The world today have it like men should not cry, but honestly there is nothing wrong with a man crying, because at the end of the day, he is human and we all have feelings and we all get mad or sad long story short, I don't think they is anything wrong with a man crying, but just as long as he don't cry every minute or over stupid stuff.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
28 Jan 08
Agreed. It is hard to ask a man to be sensative then tell him he can't cry...doesn't make sense to me.
• United States
28 Jan 08
I remember when I was younger and I was talking to this guy and I never saw a man cry before and he started crying, I was in shock, because people act like men don't cry, but know I know and it is okay for a man to cry.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
28 Jan 08
Something similar happened to me when I saw my dad fall down a flight of stairs when he was in his 20s... it stunned me so much to see him crying (of pain)... will never forget that.
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
29 Jan 08
I like emotional people. I like when man cries, because it means that he is honest with his emotions (including love) I like real people. Speaking about different culture, I was attending one wedding when bride couldn't dance, because dance is reserved for man only... Eh, forget about culture, let's all be human...
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@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Very good points that you make. I think we should have culture just not.... discrimination shall we say?
@polachicago (19073)
• United States
29 Jan 08
yes!
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
29 Jan 08
Congrats on 4600 and I am glad we agree... wouldn't the world be such a better place if we could all......... what am I looking for......... understand each other. I eat meat (NO PORK!) don't listen to music don't have dogs and hate the cold. However after saying that I can then say I understand where you come from. I can understand why you are a leafeater (my sister is one too), having ambient music sounds... josh romantic? I dunno relaxing how about that, my favorite pet was my Beagle - Henry, and I used to live where it was REAL cold. It is 41 in Chicago right now and 44 here. IT IS COLD! Of course in CO where I used to live it is 20 degrees, so I'll take my 44 and be happy. Moral of story, we are not alike but I can understand you and you can understand me and if that can improve so states can understand states and countries understand countries and religions understand religions then there would be no need for all this fighting and war and hatred and bigotry and hate and we could all live in harmony with each other. Amen.
@urbandekay (18311)
29 Jan 08
Yes, in emotionally upsetting situations but not at the drop of a hat all the best urban
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
29 Jan 08
So men should be able to control their emotions and know when it is ok and when it is not ok to cry.
@urbandekay (18311)
29 Jan 08
Everyone should have some control on their emotions, as Aristotle observes; virtue often lies in the appropriate degree of emotion, excess bravery is foolhardiness, insufficient is cowardice. all the best urban
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
30 Jan 08
The appropriate degree... I believe in todays terms that woudld be there's always too much of a good thing and too little of a good thing isn't good enough
@checapricorn (16066)
• United States
6 Apr 08
I dont think so, I appreciate a lot when men also cried. Its not good to hold it, might give someone bad effect after all! Crying never lessen the masculinity of one person, It shows he is brave enough to show his feelings though! Just my own point of view..Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Great answer... thanks for the response... Zelo
• United States
8 Jun 08
You're welcome Zelo, Happy posting!
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
Showing real emotion is human. Men are human and i do not think we are exempted from this. Being the non-crying men to show that they are stong is a thing of the past. crying denotes the human side of men. we are strong not because we can hold our tears from flowing. we are strong because we carry the family, we work on our responsibilities.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Take it a step further... should men be able to cry when watching a movie or when a puppy gets hit in the road? Where is the line of too much is too much. Great response Thanks Zelo
@qhwater (393)
• China
4 Jul 08
after seeing your question, i want to ask: why shouldn't men cry. it is not good for health to control his tears. i think everyone can cry when he meets deeply sorrow things. only by that way, can they relax from the sorrow. otherwise, they need more time to recover from the sad things. meanwhile,for a man, pls do not cry often. otherwise, it seems he is not strong enough.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
4 Jul 08
If I were to play the devil's advocate here... The man is the rock and stability of the family and crying shows weakness. If he cries it is a sign that he is not strong enough to take care of the family unit. If he needs to cry it needs to be done in private where no one else but he can see what he is doing. Now do I believe that... no but that would be the argument coming back the other way... at least that is what I think since all the resonses I have gotten have been to the other side and not from someone who thinks that men should not cry. Thanks for the response. Zelo
• United States
2 Jul 08
How sad that a man would feel self conscious about expressing himself. Tears are a natural function of the body. Crying is just another way to relieve stress. It makes you feel better. And there's nothing to be ashamed of. Once the tears are over, the brain clears and an obvious solution to the problem presents itself. What could be so shameful about that?
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
3 Jul 08
I completely agree. It is made fun of on TV, you hear so much about 'being a man' and 'sucking it up' it is hard not to feel self-conscious about it. Great to hear that the majority (if not all) of the responses are to the affirmative. Thanks Zelo
@SHAMRACK (8525)
• India
2 Jul 08
Dear friend, I do hope there are people who cry when they are happy and also when they are sad. I feel it as an emotion expressed. May be there could be people who do not cry and brust out it every with anger or any other emotion that might be not seen before. I feel to express emotion by crying is not a bad feature for men. Men should cry if they feel so I also feel that it is not a weakness it is another feature men are too with soft heart may they too give much important to humanity. This do not mean that men who do not cry do also have humanity. May be all men are not humane.
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
2 Jul 08
I think it is the pressure that is put on us at an early age to 'suck it up' 'that didn't hurt' 'be a MAN' that really makes a man 'hard'. I believe there are times when a man should be able to let go and I also believe there are times when he is being a sap when he just bawls over almost literally nothing Thanks for the response Zelo
@simsunil (98)
• India
24 Jun 08
Hi zeloguy , i think men are also human beings they also have feelings, they do feel bad, they do feel low at times... than why can't they cry, crying is a human emotion ,when all ladies show their feelings than why not men, he also has the right to cry.. right to laugh.. we do believe that males r stronger than females but come on they can also cry...
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
24 Jun 08
This is becoming quite the popular post! One of the more specific questions that I have, is if there is a sad scene in a movie that may make a female cry, is it OK for them and that she is with the cry long with him? Indeed males are human and have human emotions but sometimes it is a delicate balance to be "stronger" and have the ability to know when it is OK to cry. Great comment Thank you, Zelo
@iamnes (325)
• Philippines
23 Jun 08
i think it is ok for men to cry since they are also human, they have the right to show their emotions and crying is one way. crying is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of being a human. at least if my man cries, i know that he has a smaller chance of getting heart attack, stroke or other illnesses because he doesn't deprive himself of showing his true emotions, he says and shows what is in his mind and in his heart!
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
24 Jun 08
I agree with you. If a man are showing his real emotions, and not "blabbering" about something that's not even important than indeed he has a right to cry without someone questioning his masculinity. Great comment Thank you, Zelo
@wendyloo (184)
• France
23 Jun 08
Of course men should cry. Take a look at famous football players that red card has just lost them loads of money,respect and what do they do CRY
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I know about the respect part, but if somebody loses a lot of money does that entitle them to break down and cry in public? And by football I presume that you are either talking about Australian rules football or you're talking about soccer; just checking. Thanks for a response Thank you, Zelo
@Icyfairy (284)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
23 Jun 08
i dont think there is anything wrong with a man crying. some people feel that men who cry are weak or feminine but i think that it just makes them human. why should they suppress their emotions just because of wht society thinks? quite frankly i think that some social values today need restructuring because they utterly force people to conform to things that are purely based upon narrow minded point of views. i think that if men want to cry, then let them cry! they should not be criticised for it nor should they feel like less of a man just because they are able to show emotion.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I think that you and I feel exactly the same way. Just because a man cries doesn't mean that he is feminine in any way and just means that he is human and I don't find that there's anything wrong with being human in fact it should be just the other way around. Thanks for your comment Zelo
@relundad (2311)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I feel that everyone expresses their emotions differently. So I think its okay. For me taking it like a man means that if he wants to cry then he should be able to without him or someone else questioning his manhood.
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
23 Jun 08
I could not agree with you more. Manhood should not be defined by one's emotions but rather by one's actions. Thank you for the comment Zelo
• United States
22 Jun 08
I think men typically tend to cry less simply because they do not let themselves show emotion the way women do. I know that in some cultures, it is simply not acceptable for a man to show emotion because everyone is counting on him to be strong. However, in America, I think it is totally acceptable for a man to cry in our culture. Maybe seeing a guy constantly cry over things like a flat tire or a spill on his favorite t-shirt might be more socially awkward, but crying because you are hurting or someone near you is hurting is just being compassionate.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
23 Jun 08
So maligned "don't cry over spilled milk quote" applies in this situation. If it something that is almost inconsequential or something that is easily fixed or not a "big deal" then it's not okay for a man to cry benefit is something that is emotionally significant then there shouldn't be any rules saying that it is "wrong" to cry. I can totally except that line of thinking. Thank you for your comment Zelo
@rmuxagirl (7561)
• United States
12 Jun 08
I think it takes a strong man to be able to cry in front of someone. I think it shows so much: but not weakness. It shows everything but that. I think a man can be the rock of the household and still able to cry. I have seen my boyfriend cry out of anguish and it made me love him more and see him as being so strong.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
12 Jun 08
That is great to hear that others can understand that men are people too! Thanks for the great answer. Zelo
@beybes08 (125)
• Philippines
6 Jun 08
In my opinion,men who cry actually give a sense of masculinity. Just because they're men doesn't mean they're not human.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
6 Jun 08
I think it is like everything... it depends on what and where it happens... there are times for all emotions and there should not be a loss (in your case a gain) in masculinity because a man is allowed to cry... as my wife says... not a piece of toast (dry). Thanks for the response.
@Kaeli72 (1230)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Well, I for one would wonder what was wrong with a man if he didn't cry over things. But, I don't want him blubbering over spilt milk. When my son was doing something bad, my ex was yelling at him and the child burst into tears and said he was sorry. The ex started to mock him and told him to turn off his crocidile tears. Well, when ex was trying to regain his position in my eyes and not have the title of "Ex", he went around and appologized to everyone...with the tears included. Of course, we all thought the same thing...croc tears. Last time I knew of a man crying was because the ex was yelling at him over the phone, trying to wear him down..."him" being my now love. The ex tried every dirty trick in the book. But, my love...rather than stand up and play the "I am man, hear me roar and she is mine" crap, he cried and stepped back and almost out of my life because it was the right thing to do.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Yeah I can see that being a problem... when people do that to me they just piss me off... but there are times when things happen that are just too sad to just bottle up. Great answer.
@posham (1237)
• Philippines
9 Apr 08
shedding a lil tear doesn't hurt anyone.. and unless you're going to die of dehydration, i suggest cry when you feel like it.. instead of just bottling it all up and ending with a heart attack because of all the emotions you kept inside..
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
6 Jun 08
I am in complete agreement with you! If you need to let it out then let it out.
@p_vadla (1687)
• India
8 Apr 08
can cry ...if necessary ..and if spontaneous.
1 person likes this
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
6 Jun 08
Spontaneous... that is a word no one has brought up yet... interesting take on it. I like it. GREAT answer. Thanks Zelo
@Hatley (164354)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Apr 08
i would so love for men to learn to show emotions and cry or yell if need be not just slink off into their own little hidey hole. I have a son who will not tell me if somethings really bad and he is upset about it. and his dad was just like him. My husband would retreat into himself and go all silent and their only excuse was we did not want to upset you but thus and thus happened and i am going dont you think I was already upset not knowing what was going on and fearing the very worst? now I know we can figure out what to do about the problem. yes let guys weep and show emotion and yell if necessary but do not be stoic
@zeloguy (4913)
• United States
6 Jun 08
There needs to be a balance and for most men the balance is no balance at all... we don't wish to be made fun of because we cry... we are brought up that way as kids 'just suck it up and be a man'. To let your husband know it is OK is a big start to letting him know it is OK for him to show his emotions. Thanks for the response. Zelo