How do you get your husband to spend time with you?

United States
January 28, 2008 3:11pm CST
I try everythimg possible to get my husband to spend time with me instead of his friends, but I don't want to bribe him with "you know what". Any suggestions?? Please I am very desperate for affection.
7 responses
• Australia
30 Jan 08
i think you either need to back off a little and let him have his space, lol or if that isn't gonna work for you... Just ask with to choose a night this week that is just for you two. Then you gotta plan somethin kinda cool so he enjoys the time then it will happen more.
• United States
31 Jan 08
This is for all of you who have responded to this post. i just made another post that might help why my husband doesn't spend much time with me. he had cheated on me and possibly has another child and i don't know if he is doing it again or not. if could read my other post and help me!
• United States
29 Jan 08
Just a thought, but maybe you should bribe him with "you know what". Why not? That is a great way for husband and wife to connect. It works with me and my hubby. We can go a few days kind of feeling disconnected and irritated with each other, but when we connect in "that way" it makes things better for us. I think today woman don't want to be used and only needed for that 3-letter word, but men need it and it can offer a great connection between the two of you if you don't hold back. So, I say seduce him! :) Good luck to you. Also, what you are going through is normal. My husband and I went through it shortly after my first daughter was born. We went to counseling and really worked on loving and repecting each other and things are really wonderful now. I wish you the best.
• United States
1 Feb 08
WHOHOO!!! yep I agree
• Philippines
6 Feb 08
sometimes when marriage becomes a daily routine, the two people seem to forget that they also have to treat each other as best of friends. did u ever try to come with your husband as he hangs out with his friends? if he does allow you to come, try to play it cool. act as if you and him are just friends. just hang out and enjoy each other's company. you can also set up some activity that he'll surely participate in. you can also try to invite his friends over to your home so he won't have to leave anymore. try to act natural as if you have no ulterior motive. that you were just really reverse psycho analyzing him.
• Philippines
30 Jan 08
as for me, whnever i have a desperate situation and i need my husband to give me attention, i write him a long letter about everything i feel. so far, it's been really effective.
• India
29 Jan 08
i am not marrried but if married i will take care of my husband
@chrysz (1604)
• Philippines
28 Jan 08
The best way is to talk to him about it. Also, try to adjust to his way of life. If he goes out andyou are free, why not go out with him? Perhaps he'd appreciate it if you'll make your way to befriend his friends. You'll also learn about him from his friends like I do to my partner's friends. Ask him out once in a while and be extra sweet and caring to him.
@asgtswife04 (2483)
• United States
28 Jan 08
Maybe you should try different things like planning a dinner for the two of you at home with no one there. Do the whole candle light dinner and come out in something stunning when he gets home from work. He needs to know that you are needing his affection and that it's affecting your marriage. My husband and I went through the same thing, but it was more of he was always on the internet or playing video games with the kids all the time. I finally sat him down and told him that I wasn't getting what i needed from him and that if I didn't start our marriage wouldn't last long. Men don't understand, a lot of times, that affection is what keeps us going and keeps us knowing that we are loved. WE need that from them and sometimes you have to be firm to make them understand what we need from them. Sometimes they get mad, but eventually they either start understanding and do what they can to make it better or it only gets worse and you realize you can't be with that person anymore. keep us posted and let us know how things are going. I'll be praying for you and you need to also be praying, if you pray, that God will open his eyes and realize that he's not being the husband he's supposed to be. God bless