how do i know?

January 29, 2008 8:14am CST
hi,im just wondering if anyone has any thoughts they want to share with me or any advice regarding my situation.basically its this.single mom,late thirties!my son is my joy and hes now ten,and he wishes he had a dad cos hes told me.what ive said is that if someone right came along then id be open to seein how it went,but i was hurt very badly so he would have to be THE ONE this time.in fact theres a guy i really like the look of,he seems a decent guy.average looking as am i,nice smile,seems really shy tho.and the other thing is hes only 25!!!!!!!!!i have bought him a valentines card,a jokey one.not rude tho.havent decided if i will give it or not yet,i have no confidence with this stuff.i think id rather leave things unsaid than get rejected,as this guy works at my local store and i see him all the time.its almost impossible cos hes so shy n im so TERRIFIED.LOL.anyone any thoughts?
6 responses
• United States
29 Jan 08
as a man,and a shy man at that, my wife made the first move 27 years ago and we are still in love and together. age does not matter in my opinion if you have things in common and you care about each other the age thing is just an excuse not to do anything because you were hurt very badly. i am sorry to hear that but don't paint all men with the same brush, everyone is different and just because of one butthead not all of us are that way. sometime you are going to have to take a chance and not for your son but for yourself. i love my wife for taking that first step it is one of the hardest things you will ever do but to get over the pain you need to take the first step and get on with your life.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
29 Jan 08
Wow lovely to hear of a successful loving marriage after 27 years. Admirable.
@ellie333 (21029)
29 Jan 08
Nothing ventured nothing gained so they say. First things first do you know this guy is single and if he is why not ask him his interests, find one in common and dare to ask him to accompany you, either to a ball game, concert, walk in park. Find out what he is like as a person away from the store and build a friendship and then let the relationship move to the next level if you are comfortable and your son likes him etc. Don't look at him as a future dad as he'll sense that and run a mile. Good luck
30 Jan 08
thanx Ellie,and all u guys who took the trouble to reply,i appreciate all ur comments and will take them on.The card is not a mushy one,its jokey but not rude!so i think i will send it.will let u know how it goes,if anywhere.
• United Arab Emirates
30 Jan 08
I think you should first know what is in his mind. You have to be sure if he have any similar feelings for you before initiating and then spoiling ur friendship if there is nothing in his mind. Age is no bar. So try to know him better and I wish all the best for you and hope your son gets all the love from you and his father that he deserves. God bless.
@angel08 (120)
• Philippines
30 Jan 08
Age doesn't matter but you have to get to know him better.
@kclim8 (4)
• Malaysia
30 Jan 08
If you like the guy, I see no harm in you initiating more friendly moves. However, he is in his twenties and you are in your late thirties. Due to the different stages of life you guys are in, there could be a missynchronization of interest/priorities in life. The only way to find out is to get to know each other better. Good luck.
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
29 Jan 08
If it's not a mushy "I love you" card, I think it would be okay to give it to him. I wouldn't worry about the age thing. Some people are more mature at that age than others. I would definitely be careful though and take things slow if things seem to go well. I know what it's like to have been hurt and in a bad relationship before, so make sure it's the right one and right time. I know your son wants a Dad, but I'm sure he also wants you to be happy. just see how things go. I've always said that love finds you when you least expect it and you stop looking for it. let love find you, don't try to find it yourself. good luck and keep us posted. God bless