my mother always worries about me!

China
January 30, 2008 10:16am CST
I am a student and i am already 20 years old!! Yesterday i played with my friends and forget the time.At about 9 o'clock,mother called me and she lose her temper.I can't stand such care any more,i need more time and trust!! I am not a child any more!! But how can i talk with my parent about this?? Please give me a hand~
2 people like this
6 responses
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
1 Feb 08
this is part and parcel of life. my youngest sister who is 18 feels that way too. unfortunately for her, she's too stubborn. she understands that mom means what's right for her but then, her friends are more important to her. i agree that sometimes mothers tend to be overbearing and overprotective. this is also natural. in your case, i would suggest like others that you tell her, nicely though. both of you could compromise and come to an understanding. in the years to come, if my son felt your way too, i don't know about other moms but i would understand if he told me how he felt. oh of course for a while i might be heartbroken. grins but i would understand. it would hurt the mother of course. but you can try and pacify her at the same time by compromising. of course promise what you can do and don't do promises that you can't keep. if she asks of something tht you think you're unable to do, then let her know that you can't guarantee it but you'll try. i hope this helps. it's similar to what others have said but it's just my opinion that's all.
• China
2 Feb 08
Thank you very much.I also have many friends just like your youngest sister.My mom does not want me to spend much time on them. But I think friends are more important than studying on some aspects,aren't they??We are the members of the society,so we must deal with the people around us very well that will make me have a good future.Is there any wrong?
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
2 Feb 08
yes of course we must have friends. there is no wrong in that. the only thing is you must learn when to say no to your friends. it might leave some 'bad blood' between you guys but sometimes you need to the right and wrong. the problem with my sister is friends are more important to her than parents. already she doesn't get along well with my mom especially. it makes it even worse when she ignores her and goes off with friends. you may have any and many types of friends but do what you think is right. sometimes your friends may be right, at other times they may be wrong. sometimes we make mistakes but it is from these mistakes that we learn. don't worry. having friends is a good thing. in fact, i will recommend you to be really friendly. just remember you need to learn when to limit or say no. best of luck with your mother. hope everything works out.
@chrysz (1604)
• Philippines
31 Jan 08
We cannot blame parents for worrying about us especially if they are informed about our whereabouts. I guess you'd better worry if they don't give a damn where you are and what happened to you. Your mother's reaction is but normal coz I would also get angry if my child would do that. I think I deserve the courtesy to be informed where you and what time we expect you be home. But then again, you are already 20 and of legal age but if you are still going home to your mom,then be polite enough to tell her where you are.
• China
31 Jan 08
Thanks a lot.Maybe i am not old enough.I think mom just wants me not to waste my time and study hard.I just stay at home about 3 monthes of one year.As you said,i will be polite. Thanks
@chrysz (1604)
• Philippines
1 Feb 08
I think you just have to tell here that you also need to play and socialize. as the saying goes, "all work and no play makes the young boy dull"
@shymurl (2769)
• United States
30 Jan 08
Are you living at home still? I remember when I had to stay at home with my mom for a bit. I was about 19 then. She had rules in her house that no one stayed out after 10 cause she didn't want to be waken up. All I can say is just sit her down and explain to her as calm as possible and tell her that you are not a child anymore you are old enough to make your own decisions. Hope it helps. let us know how it goes.
30 Jan 08
Hi, I am 22 and have the same problem with my mom. I moved away from home to go to school and moved back when school was over to save money, and she does the same thing calls me at 9 finding out where i am. So I finally sent her an email becuase it go to much saying that I still need her as a mom just in different ways becuase I am not 10 anymore. Maybe try talkings to your mom about the rules of the house and maybe changining them. Its hard for mothers to see that you are not 10 anymore and you are in your 20s.
• United States
1 Feb 08
I have a 13 year old who would agree with you. In the years to come your going to realize she only means well. I am sure your feeling all grown up and wanting more space. She is your mother and your her baby. But dear just talk to her about not wanting to be called so often.
• Philippines
1 Feb 08
believe me, it's better to mull over your parents', esp your mom, worrying about you, than to wonder they dont seem to care about you as much... you could probably ask your mom to worry less about you, and show her that you can be responsible for your life... all you have to do is be straight with your mom because the more that you delay talking to her, all the more reason she might think you're not ready for the world...
@mamasan34 (6522)
• United States
31 Jan 08
You are 20 years old and living at home. You will have to deal with some of that because you are still living at mom's house. However, it is time that your mother give you some slack on the rules. You are an adult now, in college and so on. I would sit down and talk to her and tell her how you feel and how she is making you feel, but please do it respectfully and calmly! For her to treat you as an adult you need to show her that you can act as one as well!