im scared

Philippines
January 30, 2008 10:46am CST
when i said that im in a great hold of my feelings im lying, frankly im killing myself... im torturing my heart and making myself feel worst... I love him... now i can admit... his wife or exwife wants him back... for the kids he wanted to go to a counselor... just to show his wife he tried... now i guess work and our time difference is taking a hold on me and him... plus his son is sick now... hence he wil be spending time with his exwife... his agood dad... and i know he doesnt want to hurt me or his kids and his exwife... but this set up is killing me... what can his exwife want, she has been neglecting him for 17 years and now that im willing to share my life with him and i want to take care of him, she just wants him back?! whats the motif behind this... will she stop if we will just give her his house and everything...i dunno
1 person likes this
4 responses
@david2005 (800)
• Canada
4 Feb 08
I suggest that the best thing that you can do is let him go and if he really loves you he will stay with you and just be friends with his ex-wife. You have to realize that they have a child together and she is never going to go any wheres,she will always be in his life.
• Philippines
1 Feb 08
Hi. I'm sure I'm not an expert at this but just let me share something to you. Just like your "boyfriend", I am not free. True, I am separated but the marriage is still there. I don't want to go back to my husband because it's like killing myself if I do that. But anyway, the bottom line is, after my separation, there have been men asking me around. I must admit it's difficult to say no since I found some of them attractive but I strive hard to be firm and strong. Then I met the man of my dreams, I wanted him so bad that I was more than willing to have everybody forsake me even my mom and dad and even my church just to have him. But then I realize it's difficult. I can't let my parents down. I can't turn my back from the church. No matter how much I love him, I still can't have him. It will be unfair for him to make him wait until I'm free. Maybe your boyfriend has reasons for doing this. Maybe he doesn't want you to wait either. Maybe he's got some guilt within him that he must face for now. This set-up doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he loves his wife again. Just like me, I don't love my husband anymore but I feel obligated to stay in the marriage even if it hurts like hell... May you be enlightened in your problems, we're in different situations but I just hope you'll be fine. God bless you...
• India
31 Jan 08
That is really a complicated situation, I think u had posted a question on the same issue a few days back. Anywyas, i think you should just talk it out with the man. Let him chose what he wants, after all its his life. I know you love him a lot, and i think he will choose you only!! Its all about his kinds in the end, let him make arrangements with his wife so that he gets to be with them too!! I feel the solution will come out automatically, all you need to do rite now is talk with your man and let him know how you feel. Also plz understand his situation and try to be a bit on his side in the complete situation also. Best of luck and god bless!
• United States
30 Jan 08
It sounds like your hung up on a man who is not free. When ever you started dating this man. You had to know he was not free from her. he should continue to be the good father you say he is. But,he should leave you alone until he is free. The woman wants back what she is no realizing is a good man. some people don't realize what they have till they lose it. Good luck being with this man