How would you feel if your future or existing child wanted to change genders?

@dreamy1 (3815)
United States
February 6, 2008 11:30am CST
Would you be supportive? I would be supportive of them. They need to wait until they are an adult to do anything like that. If they are grown it's their life and there's nothing I can do about it. I wouldn't be angry or disappointed. It's their decision and I will still love them for who they are regardless of what they looked like on the outside.
3 people like this
20 responses
@buwald (271)
• Netherlands
6 Feb 08
i think that this is something that you should first talk over very carefully, and if the child is young (say 10-15 or so) i think that i would advice them to wait, at least untill they are 16 or older. however, i agree with the point of it being their lives, and that they have the right to do as they fell right, but its also true that during the teenage years, many people feel unsure about themselves, but that could lead to wrong conclusions about it. But as i said, its their live, so if they are fully sure, i dont see any fair reason why not to allow it.
3 people like this
• United States
6 Feb 08
Having unconditional love for my daughter would save us both. I can never ever in a million years say what I would ever do in any situation and it be final. when that car hit my daughter it taught me a very serious lesson. If my child were born in the wrong body? I would take her to a specialist and then to a therapist. I would allow her the time she needed to understand herself. I would then go from what she and the doctor's said would be best for her long term life.
2 people like this
@gandatwo (602)
• Australia
6 Feb 08
My Stepsister had a Daughter who underwent a gender change. They have been very supportive of Him,and use the name he has now chosen.We have lost contact over the years,I do know from the little I have heard, it has not been easy emotionaly for her or her Husband,and at a guess this would concern the physcial pain associated with this type of procedure.As Parents we can all relate,our Childrens pain becomes our pain,their sorrows our sorrows. They do embrace Him with the love and caring they would still have given him and his chosen partner had he not undergone the gender change. I have found My Stepmother ( Not my sisters Mother) finds it very difficult to understand.All to often we tend to tut, tut so to speak over issues we have had no dealing or experience with.There is a saying I particulary like,I do hope no one is offended by it,this is not my intention. "Ignorance is the breeding ground for prejudice" If at first we try to gain an understanding of a subject we are having a conflict with,other lives,as well as our own would benefit greatly.A little like.."walk a day in my shoes" Very good discussion,thanks for posting. "Cheers"
@jhl930 (3605)
• United States
6 Feb 08
If a child of mine wanted to get a gender change I would naturally love them no matter if they are a boy or a girl or if they were born a boy and decided that they wanted to be a girl and the other way around...I mean i think that if you really love your kid you will accept them anyway they are because thats what people do whenever they really love you...they accept you for who you are not who they want you to be or anything like that because the people that matter wont care about any of that stuff they will love you for you!
2 people like this
• United States
6 Feb 08
I would honestly be upset at first, because it would mean that I'd be losing a daughter. I, however I will continue supporting and loving my baby. I am a strong believer of loving someone unconditionally, because that is how I want people to feel towards me. When I hear about young people saying that they are trapped in a man's or a woman's body, I feel really bad for them. I can't imagine all the torment when you feel as if you a trap. But God forbids, if my child ever wanted to change gender, then so be it. I will be the first face she sees after a surgery. And I guess.... I will gain a son at the end.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
6 Feb 08
I think I'd get them into counseling so they can work through whatever problems they have. I certainly wouldn't encourage it. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 08
I would be more disappointed if they didn't alter their gender...its a sad, lonely, confusing life.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
6 Feb 08
Of course i'd be supportive....they are my kids and I love them no matter what..I have no conditions on my love for them and I can't understand why any parent would but sadly parents liek that do exist...
1 person likes this
@cripfemme (7718)
• United States
25 Aug 09
It's really difficult so I wouldn't wish it for them. But, if that's what they needed to do to be a healthy, happy person which in the case of most transgender people is the case I would have to be supportive. I would do the following things immediately. Sign them up for self-defense classes because there are some crazy people in the world some of whom will want to hurt them. Two, I would get them a therapist immediately. Three, I would probably call my transgender queer friends and have them talk to the kid. Four, I would probably flip out for a little while. Not around the child because that's not appropriate. However, if I want to be honest I have to include that in my list of things.
@thinksf (152)
• United States
12 Sep 08
I would not mind at all, in fact, I would embrace it. I am a transgender man myself and my parents have accepted me, so why not accept my own child?
• India
14 Feb 08
I think i'll give them time, maybe its just a phase. And i might go for some counselling. i wouldn't be angry. I'll give them time and when they grow young, if they are sure they can do anything
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
14 Feb 08
I will be supportive. But of course like what you said they have to wait till they adult. I have friend around that did that and I can understand how they feel.
@tamz21 (67)
7 Feb 08
As long as they are not a child then hey i would support them, as long as it makes them happy,im happy!!
@twils2 (1812)
• United States
7 Feb 08
Hello Dreamy1, I'm not in this position so I can only say that I would hope that I would be supportive of his/her decission. If he/she were younger, I would'nt let them make any permanant changes until he/she reached adulthood but other then that it would be there decission and I would try to support it whole heartedly. Take care, Terry
@madlees (1381)
• India
7 Feb 08
Teen age is not the time to decide on such things. They most probably will be going through emotional disturbances which the Hormonal imbalances bring in. After the teens, if they are still persistent about changing their gender then it should be talked over, Some have just an idea but some are very particular. Those who are very particular about this and are not at all happy with their own gender should be helped. They can still be loved as you say and can be regarded as our own. There shouldn't be a problem at all.
• United States
7 Feb 08
Yeah , i would be supportive of my child, probablly not the happiest person at the time, but i'll love them unconditionally, as long as their happy.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
7 Feb 08
Now that is really a difficult question. I can't really imagine how I would react if my little boy comes to me and say" Mom, I want to become a girl." It will probably take sometime for me to digest everything but one is for sure, I will still love my child no matter what.
• United Arab Emirates
7 Feb 08
Frankly speaking I will not support my child in this. Instead I will make my child understand that it is against nature and it is not right. If gender change is medically required to save a life, then it is fine to do. But, doing against the nature is wrong and we as parents make our kids understand this fact. I love my kid more than my life and want my kid to be happy and have a peaceful life. God bless all children. Finally, it is a personal issue and should be dealt carefully.
@david2005 (800)
• Canada
7 Feb 08
I agree with you on that as long as there old enough to do it,it is there chose and I would love them no matter what they decided to do.
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
7 Feb 08
I will also be supportive of them but I would be disappointed especially if she is my only daughter or he is my only son. The love for my child would always be there but I won't deny that I'd feel sad about it.