intuition

Juliet, I am not familiar with the decks you mentioned they sound interesting, I actually have dozens, and was friends with a strega witch who had literally hundreds of decks, she didnt' collect stamps but tarot decks. I can understand at various times in my life I have gotten busy with the every day living stuff, such as chores, kids, [raised my niece] taking care of others, earning a living, etc. I know how it can get that you go through periods where you get so busy you kind of forget this aspect of side of yourself. My spiritual values are what I refer to as spiritual eclectic, a little bit here and there as I learn with open mind about others and keep what works for me, so I do get what you are saying about adapting something. Being able to find that ability in yourself to adapt what you learn is important. One of the most difficult areas for you will be learning to trust and over come the anxiety, I grew up around worriers, so I understand how hard this can be, and lets face, we live in a world where now it is more accepted but most folks are raised to think that people CAN'T do this kind of thing. So you have to also re-progam your mind set to knwo that you can. Here is the thing you always have progress on some level whether you realize it or not, Though it is moving at an almost stopped rate due to all your family obligations taking so much of your time. If at all possible, and YES this is tough, because one it is easy to forget, two it is easy to say well it is only five minutes I will get to it later, or tomorrow etc, and three there are days when you finally find that five minutes you are to tired to bother. But if all at all possible try to find a notebook or even just lose paper lying around or keep a small notebook in your purse, but try to give yourself five minutes of each day, this can be five minutes while drinking coffee, or five minutes before going to bed each night or set alarm for five minutes earlier and spend five minutes just writing in a journal, start with emotions, or issues or venting, I realize that doesn't sound like it has anything to do with esp or developing skills however our emotions DO affect our skills and talents, so it is a good place to start, and sometimes pent up emotions hold us back, keep us from progressing. Another option for this is to maybe when you take your shower, bring the note book with you, at the end of the shower write for just five minutes. Or keep it with you at all times, whenever you get a stray minute or to you will find that you can write things down if you are not sure what to write down, then make a list of all the things you did that day, I found my self writing when I was parked outside the doctor's office waiting to take my mom home from her appointment, or when I was waiting to pick up someone who needed a ride like my niece, or waiting at her bowling for that sesson to end, I have gone out with friends and found myself in the lull in chat, even times when someone else was driving I took a minute or two to write things down. IT was how I started because sometimes I just didn't seem to have even that extra five minutes. That was when I realized there were waiting times that I could use. I do understand about the meditation, I have always had trouble with that myself, I just can't clear my mind. How to Do Automatic by Edain McCoy writing has a bit and what worked best for me on mediation, however since you know the guided one works then go for it. That book also had other things that were basics, such as how to ground self, etc, which sounds like you must have some experience with. I also started listening to Carlos Nakai a Native American flute player, though one of my favorite cd's by him I can't listen to, just to enjoy it anymore, becasue it now enduces visions. I do not know which music may work for you, but it is possible that music, can help with gaining focus or meditations or reaching your higher self. Here is how it basically works not all your feelings are going to be strong some are going to be nothing more than a stray thought and you will think it is nothing at all because it is so fleeting at times. Eventually you will learn to distinguish which of those fly away thoughts have meaning and which do not. The thing is to start keeping track of them and pay attention to them, eventually you will learn that they seem to come from different places in your mind or imagination. it just is that at first you kind of need to notice those stray thoughts and light feelings or be aware that on some level you need to notice them so that your subconscious mind begins to note where they come from, and in time it is a habit, and you will concsiously begin to notice where they come from. I could be wrong but one of the reasons you feelings / intuitions are light and not strong is partly due to the fact that you need to be more aware of this aspect of yourself but also partly due to the fact that you just need to grow, and pay attention to them. even the little ones. Even something odd or stray thought doesn't need to be a strong feeling doesn't even need to be something that has emotions attached to it. Example, you are helping kids with their homework, trying to cook dinner, and likely doing 3 or 4 other things at the same time, but for some reason every time you lgo to help kids with homework or turn on the stove etc, a number stands out, one child maybe doing math yet for some reason it seems like the 3's are standing out over other numbers, that the majority of problems has a 3 in it. the clock may say 5:30 and the 3 stands out for you, maybe it is english work and you notice that their book is opened to a page 23 but for some reason the 3 seems more prominate to you than the 2 in the number 23. then you just make a mental note, later write in note book an entry might look like this : tues, 4-10-08 5:30 pm the number 3 seems to keep popping up and stands out for some reason, I don't know why it doesn't make sense, math work even english book seems to have number 3 standing out, saw license plates all had 3's on them. [it could be any number, it could be a color or word or phrase or name it could be anything] You can then dismiss that because you made a note of it, or if does keep happening, ask for help. Ask your guides or angels to help make the message clear, help you understand what it means. At first it will seem like they are not helping you get anything clearer, but in time you will find it gets better. Then maybe a couple of weeks later, you look up at the store the number three seems to again shout out at you, and you decide ok it is a message and lol maybe it is for a scratch off that says lucy 3's or what ever and then something happens in your life that is some how connected to it. Maybe you win the scratch off for an extra 100 dollars not a lot of money but one of the kids has something come up at school that is going to cost you the extra money you just don't have, but because you were made aware of the threes, you were guided to a way of taking care of an issue that you didn't even know would need taking care of a few weeks earlier when that 3 kept popping up bugging you. I would think things like that happen to people all the time, they just don't realize it, don't put the puzzle pieces together. Don't look for those coincidences to happen, just that when you start seeing a particular color, word, number, name, over and over again be aware that it is more than coincidences, it is univeral synchronicity giving you a message. I know this sounds so abstract and sounds like nothing you can control, and this type of thing is not controlled by you the messages happen when they happen, however the interesting thing about this, is when you begin to pay attention to this type of thing you will start to get "feelings" about this kind of thing, and by paying attention, they start to get stronger. one of the reasons the feelings you mentioned are not that strong is because you don't always pay attention to them. By paying attention to ALL stray thoughts, ideas, impressions or feelings, you eventually notice a pattern [on a subconscous level] and then those feelings will grow stronger when they have important meanings and messages. Remember paying attention to them doesn't mean making decisions based on them, doesn't mean you obsess on them, it just means acknowledging them, being aware of them to say ok, there is a feeling that somehing is off. I just don't know what is off, You can then leave it at that. or Ask your guides for help, but I would suggest you only do that when you are sure you are grounded, and protected, so that you know your information and guided responses are coming from the highest good. Don't want to let negative energy / entity influence your impressions or give you messages. That feeling that there is more but you can't catch it or put your finger on it is one everyone knows, no matter how gifted or how long they develop their skills it is felt by all and sometimes we just can't catch it, kind of like those times when you know you know the answer to a question it is on the tip of your tongue but for some reason your mind is not letting you remember it at that moment. Sometimes you need to just go quiet and then ask, some questions there is a process for that which I will go into seperately that can help you and eventually you will be able to do it off the cuff but in the beginning you will have to work at it and sometimes, you won't get any more information anyway. Sometimes that is just how it is. When it comes to readings, and intuition etc it is important to remember that nothing is absolute, those who do readings and say things are, really are not to aware themselves. Part of a reading is understanding the possiblities, propabilities, the energies and influences around that exi

Thank you for your help. That was a very in depth response. I would love to tell you my progress but right now I dont have any. I have two small kids and they tend to take up a lot of my energy and throw it off, so I tend not to practice. Even though I know I should I just havent been in the mood. Also the group I used to practice general paganism with, including tarot, is temporarly disbanded. My problems with intuition in general, not just tarot, are the strength of the feelings, the fact I have anxiety, and the obvious trust factor. I occassionally get feelings but they arent very strong. You described getting feelings that left no room for doubt except for your logical mind getting in the way. Me my feelings aren't strong and often cant tell what emotion I'm feeling or in a reading I can feel theres something else but cant but my finger on it. When our group gets back together I would like to work on over all abilities. I would love to learn autamatic writing. But also telekentetic, telepathic abilities, energy control and passing, etc, all which will help if I can get with it. I also have a problem with meditation. I can't do the clear your mind meditations and just last month I had my first successful guided meditation where my own thoughts didnt get in the way. The cards that I use are TArot of the Old Path by Howard Rodway. I had trouble finding a deck that I liked, especially since I wanted one pagan or dragons, and came across this one and loved it. I know I have a conection with these cards but they are very compplicated. While must decks have 2-5 sentence descriptions per card, these had 2-3 pharagraphs because of all the pagan symbolism. I dont use the book because its so in depth that I feel it complicates things so instead I looked at each card and the description and took only enough words to fit around the outside boundry of the card and wrote it on the card itself. Which I also think adds a personal touch and connection to the cards. I use some of the spreads from the back of Power Tarot by Trish MacGregor and Phyllis Vega. I use the spreads multiple times as they have it laid out and then, when I was doing readings more often, would use the format to make my own. The book I've been reading for increasing intuition and other similar abilities is How Psychic Are You by Julie Soskin. She has a little bit of every basic and little mini tests to help you descover some personal insight. I don't always agree with how she catagorizes everything but I know enough about my personal beliefs to look past that and use the exercises in ways that would benefit me. In fact the guided meditation that first worked for me was her balancing your chakras by breathing in color energy. It isn't actually described as a meditation, but I took it one step further to identify what was wrong first, which I could suprisingly see with ease, and then move into her suggested corrections. Once again I really appreciate your help. And ask for help with two more questions since you seem to have the insight and the want to share. In my walk we believe that when you are officially initiated that you are granted a gift, an ability. Of course it isnt instantly strong. HOw would I go about finding mine? I have wondered if it is healing because I have the ability to "take the edge off" and my oils tend to work. The problem is they only relieve the problem sometimes only for a couple of hours, and I dont even know if its that. But, people especially my husband have told me that my touch is soothing and people have always felt that they could confide in me with their problems and have felt better after talking with me. But this has always been. So my questions are how do I find my gift, especially if its just my healing abilities were slightly increased, and does having a soothing/healing touch give me a natural advantage in other healing areas such as chakra, aura, touch, and herbology?

Thanks for the advice I'll give it a try next time. I definately have the problem of over analyzing. I have trouble mediating for the same reason. Like for the "find you totem spirit" I always wonder whether I out the image in my head because its an animal I like. My mind is always going a mile a minute even when I try not to.

Juliet, You wrote that you wonder if you choose an animal you like for that reason or if it may really be your totem animal Something for you to consider. The reason you like the animal is because this is a totem animal and so you are drawn to it on an instinctive level, When I was younger I don't know why I just felt drawn to snake, I also preferred silver to gold. A friend who worked security at an arena handed me something one night when we were out with a group of friends and said hear hold this. I don't know why but for hours literally hours I kept it in my hand, didn't put it in pocket or purse but in my hand twice towards the end of the evening I tried to give it back and he said "no it belongs to you" It was a charm he found a silver snake, I had gotten a silver chain for my birthday so I put it on the chain and wore it all the time. I then learned that I was born in the chinese year of the snake, I also worked on learning my totem animals [ we have more than one ] and one of the strongest influences was the snake medicine. So sometimes you like an animal because it is part of your totem. Not that it is part of your totem because you like that animal. Jami Sams has a great book that works with totem animals, called Medicine Cards it is good book and deck. I over analyze as well, I am libra can't help it however I have learned to trust my intuition, the more you do it, the more it will work for you, the stronger it will get the more you will be accurate, then you will trust it more then you will use it more, then it will work more ... oh you get the idea. So think about those animals you like most or seem drawn to, learn about them and their meanings you are likely drawn to them because they are part of your totem. Our totems are made up of animals for the places of East, South, West, North, Above, Below, Within Right and Left [right and left meaning male and female energies of self.]