about relationship

China
February 9, 2008 4:59am CST
I love my boyfriend very much, and he loves too. My mum wants us to break up coz she thinks that he is not very handsome, and he is not rich. We are still college students, and don't want to think about marriage so early. I don't want us to be hurt. If we have to break up in the future, why don't we break right now? Could you give me more suggestions? thank you very much.
5 people like this
19 responses
@kiran1978 (4137)
• Australia
9 Feb 08
Follow your heart, you are the one that has to live your life, not your mum. You are an adult now and you can make your own choices. No offence against your mum but it is pretty superficial to say to break up with your boyfriend because he is not handsome and rich. You don't have to think about marriage at this age, you are still young, enjoy life and be with people that you love. If you follow people's advice and not your own it will only bring you misery.
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
10 Feb 08
Your mom should be more concerned about how he treats you than how he looks or how much money he has. You mention having to break up in the future...can you not choose your own spouse. I confess I don't know if China is one of the countries that believe in arranged marriages or not.
• China
10 Feb 08
nowadays, china don't have many arranged marriages, but it's so common that parents want to control their children's relationship with everyone,not only lover, but also common friends! maybe you think it's unreasonable, however, parents are always worried about their children in every aspect.
@honeylore23 (1085)
• United States
9 Feb 08
If I would be asked, I would tell you to follow your heart. Happiness cannot be buy and loving is not for any reason but for loving. Your mother can give advises, can tell you what not to do, but it is you who will decide what to follow and what to do. So follow your heart, follow what you think is right and what makes you happy so long as it will give no harm to other people. Note: I would like you to listen this song "My Heart Has A Mind of Its Own", it is one of my favorite song.
• China
10 Feb 08
thank for ur recommandation. the song is pretty nice. i love it very much. Yes i agree with you. i should make decisions myself.
• Indonesia
12 Feb 08
Now you're both still students, so just keep your primary goal to finish your college. About your relation, using this time to learn how big you and your boyfriend love to face this problem. I think it's small problem. Prove it both of you can success your study, make your parents happy. I believe soon or later they will understand your both honest love. Ok, just keep going and don't forget to pray....
• Pakistan
12 Feb 08
Shut up say to your mom. He is not handsome in eye sight of herself. But he looks handsome to your eyes. It is your choice. It is your future, not the future or your mom. She is a wise woman. She thinks about your future. But you are adult and you can think well than your mom and some one else. So you should decide that who is right. You, your mom or your boyfriend.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
10 Feb 08
well, if you were psychic, you would not be writing to us here now would you? As a mom and as a daughter, I will tell you right now that mom's are not always right. Your mom wants the best for you and is calling it as she sees it. You'd be wise to consider her advice but in the end you have to go with what you really feel. I am 51 and I will tell you right now that looks are NOT important. I have been with some very hot men and some that are not good looking at all. I have also been with men from both ends of the financial scale....it does NOT matter. What does matter is how well you get along...how you feel about him, how he treats you, etc. Don't rush into things...finish your college as you have already put the time & money into it and take it where it goes.
@youless (91533)
• Guangzhou, China
10 Feb 08
I think everybody wants to marry someone who is handsome and rich and nice. However, everybody isn't perfect in this world. If you think that one is right for you, then don't have a hesitation about it. I judge people by their personality. Although the look and wealth are important, but I think the most important is the person himself/herself. Here we have a saying, that is a lover's eyes can see a beauty. As to the wealth, both of you can work hard for it. It is unfair to require him to offer you this.
@maxsee212 (799)
• United States
10 Feb 08
as long as your living independently now and have a sense of life, i think that your mum has nothing to do with your relationship with ur boyfriend. your mother is not in the relationship that you are in right now. if she doesn't want you and your boyfriend together, then that sucks for her. she can't really do anything but complain. although your mother has a point probably about your boyfriend being not very handsome and not being rich, she really has to keep her opinion to her self. don't break up with him if you're still doing fine. when the time comes to break up then you would break up but right now don't because everything is great with you and your boyfriend.
• Philippines
10 Feb 08
i think the fact that he's not so good looking or rich is not really the problem here. i bet you don't care about the looks and financial status. Is he talking about marriage already? If he is well you can always talk to him about you not being ready. The problem with your mum is kinda difficult. Coz parents sometimes tend to be controlling. But then again like what everybody says -- it's still your call.
• United States
10 Feb 08
its your choice. and the fact that she says hes not handsome and not rich should not matter. if yo love him stay. if not go. your choice=]
• Portugal
10 Feb 08
Love is a personal thing parents should not interfere. Parents want the better for children and perhaps your mum know you very well and to her it seems that your relationship will not have future. Our likes change on time and what is good now later is bad. You need to think what you really want inside your heart and your decision will be the better and you will assume that decision. Who knows if your boyfriend his the right man for you, although he is not rich and handsome. He can has skills to be rich in future if that is important to you and handsome men are a risk, there are many women who can be interested on them.
@mich_23 (121)
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
If these are the reasons why your mother wants you to break up with your guy, then I think this is very unreasonable. Physical appearance and status has long been the issue ever since, and until now this still happens. I think you are old enough to decide for your own self and parents are there to just guide you but not dictate to you.
• Canada
9 Feb 08
Hi, and welcome to Mylot! Honestly if you love eachother then why break up because of your mom. She isn't dating him, and the only person that can determine your own happiness is you! The decision is yours, none can make it for you. PurpleTeddyBear.
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
If you love someone and he loves you as well why break up. If this guy your mom doesn't like because he's not handsome nor rich is a very nice and responsible guy thats all you need. Looks and money cannot buy you happiness. Don't go into marriage first and make a future out of yourselves first. Your mom doesn't own your heart but she does wants you to have a better future. Show her that this guy is someone that will give you a future if you think hes a responsible man. Good luck.
9 Feb 08
you need to do a little thinking here..if the matter has come to the point of your mother getting involved,you(both)better need to reaffirm your commitments too.or else,whats the point in going against your mother when there is no backing force.ur relationship needs to be steady,which means it needs both of you to love and stand by each other 'come what may'.if u arent ready for that,dont strain your relation with your mom either.She may be also concerned about your career,apart from the reasons she gave,so it'll help when you show that you can handle things,by putting an extra effort to keep your grades good.That'l bring some comfort to her and maybe begin to trust you.its crucial,so u need to play it cool by keeping both the persons(ur bf n mom)in mind,so that u dont hurt either of them,since i believe,both of them ar very special to you.hope u carry it off maturedly.good luck!
@m3mema5 (90)
• United States
9 Feb 08
I would let your mom know that you 2 are not ready for that kind of comment yet and .when the time comea it doesnt care how handsome they are or how rich they are .it is what is on the inside that counts. not the looks or the money and beside that it is your life to choice whom you want to be with not your mothers.
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
Oh I guess maybe you mom is right at some point that you are really too young talking about marriage if you are still studying. Well one thing parents do have is that they would like what is best for their children's future. maybe what you can do is to finish you studies and proved to your mom that your boyfriend deserves your love and let him prove that he is responsible person and can be trusted by your mom when you two could finish college and find a decent job. I think if you two could prove that I won't be hearing any comments from her soon.
• India
9 Feb 08
If you are going to breakup just because he is not handsome and not rich,i would say it would be ridiculous.money can come any day and as far as being handsome,i strongly feel beauty ia skin deep.but finally its your life and your decision matter the most.if you are sure you will break up in the future,its better you break up now itself.that would really settle the matter.take a decision before its too late.
• Philippines
9 Feb 08
your mom thinks of your own sake.. she's just worried of the possible things that might happen to the both of you.. as what you have said, you are still young to think about marriage.. so, you can explain to your mother that you'll never set aside your studies and do good in school.. you can have the choice not to break up with your guy..