The Older Story In The Book
February 9, 2008 9:44pm CST
"The doctor is exactly what I fear" I cannot get sufficient substances inside of my soul. I fill myself with the belligerence drink, and therefore I cannot take control, of this despondency that I forever will hold. I am weak. So I treat my dysfunctions with alternatives that are not bold. I can only mold a future that’s bleak. I can’t find my way out of this hole. My form of thinking only sickens me. I fear that in one hour of darkness, my mind will unfastened its self-control. I am pathetic for crying, but not actually aiming at trying, to alter what is malfunctioning... This avoidance of me is indeed, sickening... At a younger segment, I became conscious of being different. But I did not know that it was a mental discrepancy. Now I am aware. Yet, it only haunts me, for I do nothing to alter the dysfunction that I breed. **** is what I want to say. However, cursing at the world won’t make this horrid feeling go away. I am full of wretchedness... And yes I must digress... that I feel that I enjoy being able to shed tears about my chemical imbalances. It is infinitely erroneous. And… While I muddle at following the bible and striving to be meek, I must admit that I am selfish, to the core, a self indulgent creep. - ZeN
• United States
11 Feb 08
Whew. For a moment I thought we should get you someone to talk you off a ledge somewhere.I hope you are not one of those artists that Have to be in pain to create such masterpieces.These poems are very powerful and deep but I hope you don't have to visit a tragic, dark place to write them.