what is youre opinion of someone who leave there child to someone else?

South Korea
February 12, 2008 1:37am CST
my employer ask me to go back to work since my baby is already 8 months old..but thoughts of leaving behind my baby to someone else is not good for me to think...how about you? plz..share
14 people like this
33 responses
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
12 Feb 08
well thats the toughest thing to decide. we mothers are really emotionally attached to our children so it is a tough decission to make. if your husbands earnings is enough for all of you then i think it is okay to wait for your child to reach atleast up to 2 years of age.
3 people like this
• South Korea
12 Feb 08
yes..my husband salary is more than enough but my student missed me..and thats my boss ask me to come back..
3 people like this
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
12 Feb 08
lol... you got me one there. you didnt say that the boss are your students. those are your babies at school. well now that you have your own baby to think about i guess they will understand that. thanks for the BR. have a nice day
2 people like this
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
12 Feb 08
don't worry. i would have doubts about leaving my baby with someone else too. partly because the baby has been with me for so long. partly also because i feel that my baby might bother the person. my son is 5 years this year and i haven't left him with anyone. only once, i had a hospital appointment so i got my sister to fetch him from school and look after him for a while. once my appointment ended, i immediately called her up to find out if he was giving any trouble. he wasn't. other than that, he has always been with me.
• South Korea
12 Feb 08
if i have my family nearer than me then it must better but putting her in a child care i dont like it..
1 person likes this
@sminut13 (1786)
• Singapore
12 Feb 08
i agree. i'm fortunate that my sister is here. i also feel uncomfortable leaving my kids with neighbours for fear that they might be irritated. that's because i get irritated too. grins
2 people like this
@nanayangel (7839)
• Philippines
12 Feb 08
Hi marketing07! I perfectfly understand you. I started working again when my baby was just six months old. I really need to do so so I don't have much choice. I would get teary-eyed whenever I am leaving the house in the morning to go to work with my baby crying. I hired a nanny but I only got comfortable with the set-up because my baby and the nanny will be staying at my mother's house, with mama while I'm at work. I call them every chance that I have and I trust my mama so I got used to it easier.
• South Korea
12 Feb 08
its good for you ..you have someone in your family,,my parents was so far away already..my mother in law no thank you...if we can have a nanny much better,,but we cant have it here,,maid is very much expensive to hire,,same as my salary..our choice is..to put the baby on a child care like kindergarten..
2 people like this
@madlees (1381)
• India
13 Feb 08
That is a very difficult choice dear.. to take. Leaving the child at the centre and going to job... will you be able to do that? your mind will be there with the baby and your work will suffer. Isn't it?
1 person likes this
@tiffiny (872)
• United States
12 Feb 08
The whole going back to work thing and leaving your kid at daycare is something that you should think very long and seriously about. If you really do want to go back to work then you shouldn't feel guilty about having your baby be in the care of others. If you decided to go with a day care then just research the one you want and ask the parents that already have their kids there. You could also set up a time to meet with the daycare manager and they would probibly answer any questions you would have. Or you could always employ a friend or relitive that you trust to watch your kid at your house. H
2 people like this
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
yes..tiffiny thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21029)
12 Feb 08
I too felt like you when my eldest was a baby. I asked for extended leave which my firm agreed to and then when I did go back they allowed my travelling time to and from work and were very flexible and understanding. I hated leaving her but we had a mortgage that needed paying. It is so difficult to get the balance right. With my second child I worked from home which was a lot better and thoroughly enjoyed even though there were many times I had to leave her it wasn't all the time. With my third child, he is three now I decided to stay at home completely until he started preschool last February and I now work part-time around that or at night once he is in bed. I enjoy this far more. He starts school all day in September so will go back full time days then as my firm has holdiday shut down periods that are similar to school holidays. It is a very difficult and personal decision, but I am sure you will make the right one for you and your baby and if you do decide to go back you will find the right childcare for you both I'm sure. Good luck with this one I feel for you as have been there. Ellie :D
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
thanks ellie ..i appreciate it
@lynnchua (3416)
• Singapore
12 Feb 08
That's depend. If the someone else is my parents or my in-laws I will go back to work, but if its a nanny or maid I won't.
2 people like this
• South Korea
12 Feb 08
oh thank you.
1 person likes this
@crazylady (470)
• United States
13 Feb 08
I totally understand your dilemma. If you don't NEED the money, I would just stay home. The early years are so important for development, and tho there are good child care places out there, you also stand the risk of a bad one. I worked fulltime when my older 4 kids were little, and daycare got most of my check, but I enjoyed the adult time. Now that I have two more littles, and my older four are in school, I have been a SAHM. I tried to get a job a couple times and it just didn't make sense for us because with DH's schedule, and then the other kids getting out of school. So I sell Avon and I do a couple side gigs here and there for extra money, but that's it.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
14 Feb 08
that was great..thank you
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10915)
• Canada
13 Feb 08
I feel your pain! I went back to work part time when my child was 14 or 15 months for a little while, and i just couldnt do it, it was hard the first day i cried, and although it did get easier, and it's my best friend watching her and i trust her fully as she has a child her of her own only one month older then mine, I still worried the entire time, and so, for me it wasn't worth it, i now stay home while my friend works and i watch her child. So she pays me pretty well, and i come to her house and she feeds us plus pays me to sit. It works our really well for me, however its almost coming to an end because i am having a new baby, and it would be VERY hard on me to watch two toddlers and a newborn baby. She also is pregnant but is about 6 months behind me, so possibly when she's ready to go back to work a year after her new baby is born, i may be able to handle the two older ones with two smaller ones, we will have to see how horrible the terrible twos and three's are!! *giggleS*
1 person likes this
• South Korea
14 Feb 08
thank you ,,i rally aprreciate that
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 08
I myself didn't work until my son was a year old, fortunately that job only lasted about six months. Just long enough for my husband to get into the military and start receiving some great pay. I quit my unfortunate telemarketing job, and became a stay at home mother. That was January of 2006 so i've been a stay at home mother for over a year now, and I wouldn't take it back for the world.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
thank you for sharing
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
12 Feb 08
Hello dear marketing friend. I don't know whether it is good or not to have someone else to help look after the baby of yours, who is only eight months old. By the way, my wife did not go to work until my son was over one year old. We took care of our baby ourselves on campus. We are lucky to be able to bring up the baby without leaving our baby to someone else. But I have to say that here in our school, many of my colleagues ask their parents for help to look after their baby. So you can just have a try this way. Good luck and take care, dear friend.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
oh yes,,thank you..and i dicided to stay for a while and enjoy being here on my lot..
@cherriemae (3374)
• Philippines
12 Feb 08
for me, it's really depends on the situation..i'd rather leave my child to my mother, than leaving her to someone else coz i'm not that confident enough if my child will be treated well or she will might hurt by that person whom i dont know..you can approach your relatives who can watch your child..
1 person likes this
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
my relatives is so far from me..
@rsa101 (14878)
• Quezon City, Philippines
12 Feb 08
For as long as you can depend on the person you are leaving your baby I think that is ok. It ispretty normal for you too to feel that separation anxiety you have in you. since you two have been bonded that long it's pretty awkward to leave your baby. But soon you'll get used to that.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
thanks i appreciate it
• Canada
13 Feb 08
I have mixed emotions on this deal. I can tell you why. When I was around 18 yrs old, I was at a neighbours place, when the mother of 2 sweet little children came to get them. what I say and heard sent chills up my spine. The little boy turned and grabbed onto my neighbour, crying and said mommy do we have to go. The mother of these children was a great mother, plz dont think she was abusive or anything cause she wasnt. but when the children were asked why they didnt want to go they said cause they wanted to say with mom. calling the babysitter mom. Those poor children seen so much of the baby sitter that they started seeing her as mom. when you stop and think about it. if you work all day, you drop the kids off at the sitter or day care in the morn and pick them up at night, how much time do you really get to spend with them? But as a single mother I had no choice I had to work to support my children. I wound up giving up my day job and actually started working for myself just so I could work my schedual around my kids, I would wait till they were in bed then my brother would stay with them and I would make sure I was home before they got up in the morning, if they were sick I didnt work. even now that my kids are older I still put them first, I now work days and nights.lol not every day or night, but I work while they are in school and on nights for jobs that have to be done when the kids are home. I make sure I take time off for all there trips and swimming lessons and school functions and when they just want me to ditch work and have fun with them. I am not rich bye any means and some months are harder than others, but if you ask me I am the richest person in the world as long as I have the love of my children.
@olivemai (4738)
• United States
13 Feb 08
I agree!
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
i really appreciate it,,it was amazing..thank you
• United States
14 Feb 08
I went back to work after my 6 weeks of maternity leave. I paid a little over 100 a week and i got paid everyother week and by the time I paid the babysitter I had no money left over so I gave my 2 weeks and glad that I did cuz I would have missed my daughters first steps and everything. Now the she will be a year old next month i am looking for a job again. One that pays more than my last one so It makes sense to go to work while paying someone else to watch my child. I thought I was a good decision to stay at home with her for that first year. You get to see everything she does for the first time and its the best.
• South Korea
16 Feb 08
thank you
@vanities (11387)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Feb 08
well for me its really good to see your child grows up and be a hands on mom...but if you think its better to work due to financial reasons..its up to you i guess..
• South Korea
16 Feb 08
thank you ,vanities
@jazgottt (1181)
• Poland
13 Feb 08
hi marketing07. I don't have kids, but I work as a baby-sitter for over 2 years now. I think I'd prefer to stay at home with my child if I were a mother. Not because I'd be afraid to leave my child with someone else, but because I think bebies need to spend some time with parents - the more, the better. I know other 3 women who work or worked as a baby-sitter, and they are all nice and good people, children love them. But it's obvious that every baby loves parents the most. I have noticed, that children (these very little, who can't talk especially) have a habit to cry and scream when parents leave the home, and the same when it's time for their parents to come back from work. The rest of the day they are mostly happy and smiled. I think they like to play with other people like baby-sitter or grandmother, but they miss parents very much and they'd naturally prefer to spend this time with mom and dad:). So they complain the way they can complain - crying. My eployers, parents of the little girl I take care of, come back from work really late. I think it's not good idea, but they have no choice. I think it is not the worst thing in the world to leave your child with someone else, but you should try to be back at home as early as it's possible. If mother spends a good part of a day with her baby, it is ok to go to work. have a nice day, jazgottt.
• South Korea
14 Feb 08
thank you i was happy that somebody share..i really appreciate it..happy valentines
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
13 Feb 08
You need to look after your baby first, he would require your attention, love and care at this juncture. 8 months baby requires mothers constant support. If you leave him with some other fellow or with some other place, he would be deprived of mother's love and affection,which cannot be substituted by any other person. You please look at the situation very cooly and calmly and then decide what is more important for you...your job or your 8 months' old child. I have a feeling that if you are capable, you can find another job, once your baby is say two years old.
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
that was great,,thanks
@SViswan (12071)
• India
13 Feb 08
I'm the same as you...and I didn't start work till my older son was 5 actually. But now I plan to work when my younger one will be 1.5 yrs...but only because he can come along with me. It also helps that I didn't have to work for the money. Or else I don't know what I would have done....because I wouldn't want to leave my baby with anyone.
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
thanks
@subha12 (18453)
• India
13 Feb 08
look it depends on situation, priority and many things to take the decision. nobody can't be just blamed without any reason.If some has career at equal priority and can arrange someone to look after the baby, then its ok to join work. some are like they want the whole priority in life to the baby. then its not that much easy.
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
thanks subha
• United Arab Emirates
13 Feb 08
Oh. This is the toughest part of being a mother. I simply cannot do it. It depends on person to person and also whether if you can afford to do it. If you really can manage without leaving your child and going for job, then I think you should do it. But, if you have to go for work cause of genuine reason, then you have to be sure that your child is in safe hands. Try to leave your child with your parents or guardians whom you trust. Be sure that your child is safe and sound and well looked after. God bless.
• South Korea
13 Feb 08
thank you ..my parent are far away from me ..even my relatives..i also cannot trust to my mother in law coz she had a health problems,,thank you very much for sharing