What is it about mothers and daughters?

@raydene (9874)
United States
February 12, 2008 7:35am CST
While replying to a response I started thinking about my daughters and myself.. I often think that girls are much more difficult to raise then boys.. My darling Sheilana turned 18 last month. Whewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...She has been such a hard child to raise..maybe because I nearly lost my life bring her into the world..maybe cause I'm older now...maybe because I have less energy..maybe because she is ADHD...Maybe because I see a young Raydene and that scared the pis5 out of me... We don't bang heads nearly as often now as we did.. My daughter Heidi is 21 years older then Sheilana but they are soooo close which I'm very thankful. When Heidi was a teen we also banged heads alot... I would have if I could have wrapped my girls in cotton and put them in a safe bubble...But then I would have done the same for my boys.. What is it with mothers and daughters? Any thoughts? xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
7 people like this
14 responses
@palonghorn (5485)
• United States
12 Feb 08
I survived raising two daughters myself, lol. The youngest just turned 19 last month, the oldest is 25. Through all the times we clashed, banged heads, etc, I wouldn't do it differently for anything in the world. I now live 1600 miles from the youngest and 300 miles from the oldest, but we talk on the phone at least 3 - 4 times a week. And my oldest is treating me to a mother/daughter weekend retreat at the beach at the end of this month. So her hubby and my s/o will just have to fend for themselves, while we chill and scrapbook and enjoy the beach and each other's company for 3 days, actually I'll be gone from home for 5 days, but I'm sure they and our furry children will survive LOL
2 people like this
@raydene (9874)
• United States
12 Feb 08
Hi Doll, Nice..I know you are going to have the best time ever.. Sounds wonderful..I'd love to do something like that for my daughters...What a great idea..Now you have me thinking..I just may do something this summer... oxxoxoxo
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 08
I hope you have the chance for a mom/daughter weekend, she has come and spent several weeks with us, off and on while her hubby was serving in Iraq, but usually I was working, so we only had Saturday or Sunday to go do things. However, when she is here and his daughter is with us, they usually go spend a girl's day together and they are 11 years apart, but they get along great.
2 people like this
@gemini_rose (16194)
12 Feb 08
I have 3 boys and a girl, the girl is only 2 but already we clash terrible, I think the trouble is we are very alike, both headstrong, determined and very stubborn! If she wants to do something and I say no and stick to it she just fights me all the way! And I mean proper fights me. But when we are doing things together we are really close, closer than I expected actually!! I dont know what she will be like when she is older but I hope we continue to have a strong close bond.
@raydene (9874)
• United States
13 Feb 08
Hey Doll..The only thing I can tell you is that you might want to get yourself a good helmet..It's gonna be a hel1 of a ride..He hehe he... But also a ride you'll be glad you took! xoxoxoxoxo
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
12 Feb 08
Hi raydene! Although I do not have daughters or children of my own, I could only share my story about my relationship with my mother. We have this special bond that no one can ever break. We were very close. I have been always the obedient daughter until I became a teenager, although when I was in my teen..I had only one disagreement with her. That is I can't just go out on a date without telling her where and with whom. hehe.. We share secrets like girlfriends. I tell her almost everything and she tells me her secrets, her pain and her joy. And I could not hide a secret from her because whatever happens to me each day, I just blurt it out whenever I see her. She chooses my clothes and I let her because she is very fashionable, her style is simple yet elegant..that is why when I lost her, I never knew how to shop for my own clothes. I do miss her a lot but I am very thankful that I have a very special bond with my mother. Take care and have a nice day! :)
@raydene (9874)
• United States
13 Feb 08
Awww Darling yes you miss her but thank God you were able to have her as long as you did.. In our lives we lose people we love and I have found it just makes me value the loved one I have left so much more.. oxxoxoxoxoxo
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
Hi raydene! Yes, I completely agree with you. I learn to value life and love. A painful yet learning experience when you lose someone very dear to you. And I do thank God everyday for showing me the value of life and love. Take care and have a nice day! :)
@Annmac (950)
12 Feb 08
I raised a boy and girl who are now in their early thirties and found the relationship much harder with my daughter through the teen years. However thinking back my Mum and I didn't get on well at that time in my life either. I think as girls grow up though we often forget that the hormonal changes and mood swings coincide or contrast with our own. It was like WW3 in our house with 3 girls (3 years seperating them) and a Mum all suffering the 'monthly' highs and lows of our cycles. Boys tend to have less fluctuation as the male hormones are generally released in a steady stream. They tend to go through longer 'phases' of certain behaviours, my son and nephews all went through the period of shutting themselves away in their rooms for example. Much easier to deal with than a moody teenage girl! There is one great thing about daughters though. Once they do mature and especially when they have a family of their own they usually become far more 'a friend' The old saying is true, A Daughters a daughter all of her life, a Son is a son till he takes a wife!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Feb 08
Yes, Annmac. A daughter is a daughter all her life and a Son is a son till he takes a wife. My daughter and I are very close and truly are best friends, but I have a son that refuses to speak to me or have anything to do with me. I can't for the life of me figure out why because he is my baby, even though he is married and almost 35. He was truly my pride and joy while growing up and maybe I let him get away with things I shouldn't have, things I would not let my daughter get away with and I miss him very much. My daughter lives about 90 miles from me and I see her quite often, but my son only lives about 20 miles and I haven't seen him in over a year. I am so thankful to have a daughter I can depend on and have as a best friend. Donna www.getcleangetrich.com
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
12 Feb 08
My oldest girl is nearly 25, my youngest will be 18. I also have a 26 year old son, and yes, he was way easier to raise than the girls. I clashed much more with my older daughter than I do with the younger, I think her and I are more alike in personality, she was also a very rebellious teen and just KNEW everything! Although, my youngest frustrates me at times, mostly when she has a major snotty attitude, I find than we get along much better, but then her personality is different than mine, she was a way easier baby than the older one too, different temperaments altogether. The older one went through colic, a very horrible stage of temper tantrums between the ages of 2 and 3, and a whole lot of other things up through her teen years, the younger didn't, she was more passive and pleasant, more like my son in temperament.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9874)
• United States
13 Feb 08
They say we make our mistakes on our first child and as they come along we make less..lol Sweets..I can relate to that snotty attitude you spoke about he he... I sometimes miss the days when mine were little..seeing the world as a new adventure each day... xoxoxoxoxoxo
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
12 Feb 08
Well that is Girls for us I was the same with Mel lol She is 21 next Month and believe me it was hard but I am still proud to say she is a great Daughter just like my Son is a great Son And you have to Admit Raydene they are worth it It was hard at the time but they are still our World and worth all of it xxxx
1 person likes this
@raydene (9874)
• United States
13 Feb 08
Oh God yes they are worth it..I can not imagine life if I had not had children... I wear a crown and my children are my largest jewels that adorn it..Then my family and my friends..pets..nature.. My crown is a beautiful thing to see! oxoxxoxoxo
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
12 Feb 08
I think it might be different for everyone and depend on circumstances. I was under 20 when I had both of my girls and 30 when I finally had my son. Even at that "older" age I found it was so much easier to raise a son (and I did it alone from the time he was 1 1/2 because I divorced his dad) than it was to raise those girls.
12 Feb 08
I reared twin daughters virtually on my own. Girls are very hard headed and at some point in their development, they start to vie for the same attention that the mother gets. Mothers and daughters start to challenge each other as girls enter their teen years. Fortunately, this rivalry subsides as the daughters become mothers themselves. but during the teenage years it can be really rough to deal with the attitudes and the Know-it all-sassy ways that girls can develop toward their mothers.
@nixxi76 (3192)
• Canada
12 Feb 08
Well I'm not one who has raised a girl( I wasn't lucky enough to have a daughter) but... I am raising a boy he's 7 in fact. I do know growing up as a daughter was very frustrating with my mom because we never seen eye to eye unfortunitly. When I turned 18, it got worse.. I turned rebelious at an early age and never listened and wow do I regret that!
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21588)
12 Feb 08
I'm not sure what it is but I've noticed it within my family too. I don't have daughters and although my boys both went through a difficult stage of puberty, they were nowhere near as difficult as girls can be. I think maybe when they reach puberty, the girls think they're grown up because they develop a maternal instinct. They then start questioning and rejecting the Mum's authority, which causes arguments and hurtful words. However, it's just a phase and you're not alone in the sufferance of growing daughters my friend. Brightest Blessings. xxx
• United States
17 Feb 08
Hi Raydene. I can certainly identify with how hard it is to raise a girl. I have only 1, and 2 sons, but my daughter and I butted heads so much when she was growing up. She is now almost 40 and we have a wonderful relationship and she has thanked me many times for being so hard on her. When she was little, when I was still married to her father, I almost hated her. She was the apple of her Daddy's eye and I guess I was jealous because he showed her so much more attention than he did me. Yes, I was young and immature. As soon as her Dad and I got a divorce, we became best friends. Not to say we still didn't have our moments, because she was 12 at the time, and teenagers can be very difficult. I was overly protective of her because I didn't want her to make the same mistakes I'd made. I even went as far as planting holly bushes in front of her window to keep her from sneaking out or having some boy sneak in. LOL. She is such a good Mom right now to 3 step children (she never had any of her own) and she sees how difficult it is to raise teenagers. Good luck to you Raydene. It can only get better. Donna www.getcleangetrich.com
@mummymo (23707)
14 Feb 08
I don't know Mom but I do agree that girls are harder work than boys! One of my favourite theories is that girls are harder because they need to learn the complexities of being a woman - that is hard work on its own! For all Niall has his difficult stages he was a peace of cake when he was Niamhs age and I am dreading her getting into her teens - she has had a mind that is entirely her own since she was seconds old and she gets a little more stubborn every day! Glad you and my sweet little sis are sharing more piece together! xxx
• India
13 Feb 08
well my mom says that its far easier to look after girls than boys. She says this coz now my 8yr old son stays with her after school till the time I pick him up every evening. So now she says how difficult it is to handle growing boys yet she always told me that I was a very very difficult child to raise. Yes, what’s it between mothers & daughters? Even I would like to know. During times of intense argument, I have even had my mom say that I was being jealous of her! Jesus!!! A growing daughter being jealous of her mother or (as I always thought) the other way round? I never had a chance to vent but thankfully mylot has given me an opportunity to get it all off my chest. I have had so many here in similar situations that I no longer think of myself as a curse on my mom. She is still such a child in so many matters that her tantrums, arguments, dramas, judgemental attitude, sarcasm leave me tired most of the times now. maybe I wouldn’t want a different mom in my next life, but I would definitely want her to improve on her maturity and ability to love unconditionally. She is forever expecting me to own up that without her I would be nowhere! How true it is that what goes around comes around too. The same lady who could never control her child without spanking now sometimes thinks that her own daughter was way too timid and easier to discipline than her only grandson. I am thankful to her for so much that I should not even start to enumerate them, yet I sometimes wish that she was a little more mother too.
@livvy092002 (1003)
• Philippines
13 Feb 08
I think mothers and daughters have really special bond.. Being girls alike is already that advantage for mothers and daughters because both have the basic needs and may experience and feel the same within. Nonetheless, i think that mothers and daughters may not be always feel or think the same. Like as for my mom and i, we are very different especially in our likes and dislikes, we differ most of the time in our opinion about things. But i think the most important in a mother and daughter relationship is for both to always have respect for and acceptance of each other, which of course, is because of that love for each other ever since the daughter was carried in the womb of the mother for 9 months. By these, i am sure the relationship will be like that of a deep friendship more than just being mother and daughter. :-)