doing the right thing but still feel guilty

@roniroxas (10576)
Philippines
February 12, 2008 3:59pm CST
do you ever felt like this before... where you did something right but still feel guilty about it? my friends live in partner is having an affair. and i've been seeing him with this woman for about a year now. he does not know that i am always seeing him. the first time i saw him it was nothing for me coz there are a lot of maybes that came into my mind. but now i am seeing him already for a year and they are extra sweet to one another. i told it to my friend but now i have a guilty feeling that i wish i just kept my mouth shut. but also i have this feeling that if i have a pratner and my friend caught him like that i like them to tell it too me too. i dont know i still have this guilty feeling.
4 people like this
9 responses
@secretbear (19472)
• Philippines
15 Feb 08
hi roni! ^__^ that seems like a really big mess. i can understand why you had to tell your friend about it. i would have done the same thing too. and i would have felt guilty after it too. that's because by telling her that is just like opening her eyes to the reality and truth often hurts right? we're guilty of hurting her. but then, i think its better that way. its better that she knew it instead of continuously being cheated by her two-timing azz boyfriend. i'm sure she would have wanted to know the truth. if i were in her place i would have wanted to know the truth. i don't like being cheated on behind my back (nor in my face LOL). i wish they have already broken up. ^__^
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
18 Feb 08
i dont have any news yet. i will give her space and wait for her to text me. thanks for the response
• United States
13 Feb 08
You likely feel guilty because your friend is hurt. You did the right thing! Like you said, you would want someone to tell you. My ex-husband cheated on me and no-one told me. I found out for myself, and after I left him, everyone was like, yeah, I saw him with her ______ (fill in the blank when and where). Had I known sooner, I could have left sooner and gotten on with my life sooner. Yeah, it sucked at the time, but looking back, sooner would have been better. Kudos to you for doing the right thing in a bad situation!
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
for those people who had gone through this cheating thing like us we would better tell our friends when we see or suspect their husband cheating on them. i dont know if those people who never experience this will do the same. thanks for the response
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
13 Feb 08
I know what you mean. No matter how close our friend is,(when it looks to us like they are being wronged) there are times when its best to mind our Own business and let the other person's affairs work out by themselves. We see these things happening and there is a feeling that we should tell. When we give in to these feelings, sometimes we are sorry later, because nothing happens by Chance. Its all Part of the Grand Design. The Universe has been going along just fine for Billions of years without you or I. And I'm sure this will continue long after we are Gone!
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
i dont know, if i didnt tell her then it will still be bugging me and maybe worst that what i feel right now. thanks for the response
• India
13 Feb 08
Yes, I know what you mean. You are caught between your heart and your conscience. This has happened to me many times too where I have said something for which I have felt bad later on. My logic, my conscience tells me I am right in speaking out but my heart says that maybe I should not have been so forthright.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
yes my feelings exactly. and i am sure it will be also the same feeling if i didnt tell her. thanks for the response
@azeemjz (445)
• Pakistan
13 Feb 08
Its nature of a person when he or she interfaire in someone's problem then it feels strange inside. But remember a point or a advice that when you do something good don't think about that again and again always think for that stuff that you did wrong or going to do wrong.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
wow that was a great response you have there. it really has sense. why do i have to think it over and over when it is something good. that was really mind opener. thanks for the response
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
13 Feb 08
Thats one of those really tough situations. I am not sure what I would do. I usually try to back away from things like that. I don't like to get caught up in other peoples personal issues.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
thanks for the response
@squaretile (3835)
• Singapore
13 Feb 08
well, you're right that you have done 'something right'. And you shouldn't feel guilty about it. if you feel bad because you have made your friend very sad, then you must think of how it would have been worse if you didn't tell her and allowed her partner to keep on hurting her. Your responsibilities are first and foremost to your friend. So you have definitely done the right thing. Something similar happened to me. I bumped into a friend's husband at an overseas hotel with another lady. we said hi, and he explained that he was there for work and this was his colleague. it all seemed very innocuous at that time. then a few months later, i found out that he was lying. and that he was in an adulterous relationship. how horrible.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
well guys do really knew how to escape on situations like that. my friends husband does not know that i am seeingh im often with that girl. thats the reason why i have to observe it first just to make sure it was not just friends or like what you said "colleague". Thanks for the response
@gemini_rose (16194)
12 Feb 08
Having been in the same situation as your friend, I could definately say I would want my friend to tell me. Everyone knew what was going on with my husband and not one person said a word to me, not even a girl who was supposed to have been my friend, I was so angry with her and so upset, I asked her how come you didnt say anything? You knew all that time and never dropped a hint, she said it was nothing to do with her, I said but you were my friend and you knew how could you see me and talk to me and not say a word, it was something to do with you because you knew about it and you could have saved me so much pain. She is no longer a friend of mine in my eyes. You did the right thing in my eyes and although she may not thank you now, she may not want to believe you but in the long run it would be worse if she found out herself and then found out that you knew about it all the time.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
thats exactly what i mean, ive been in a ugly relationship myself and my friends told me everything they know about what my husband (now ex) was doing and with that i made a plan, and slowly explained it to my children then we left him. so now it is happening to a different friend i want her to analyze things also and do what she has to do. thanks for the response
• United States
12 Feb 08
I think your just caught up in your feelings. I would not want anyone to tell me that bad news. As fro the friend don't tell her anything. try to have her in the places you see her man. If it's been going on a year already. Your not the only on who knows. She may very well just be in denial about the situation. Have your self a soft drink and relax.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
i like the part of having a soft drink and relax. that really helps. thanks for the response