What To Do When Your GF/BF does not Get Along with Your Friends

Philippines
February 13, 2008 9:56am CST
If your friends does not get along with your guy/gal - and you refuse to prioritize one over another, and you keep on forcing them to be in one place and mingle - most likely, your relationship with your man/girl or your relationship with your friends will suffer. When the battle between your friends and your significant other is at its rage, the most common issue at hand is the quality time issue. Take this scenario - a girlfriend will always expect a weekend together with her boyfriend, upon the other hand, the friends of the boyfriend blackmail him into a whole day basketball and playstation session. A messy situation for the boyfriend right? What should he do? Who should he be with? Would this kind of relationship work? Shoot me with your opinion guys!
1 person likes this
8 responses
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
13 Feb 08
"you keep on forcing them to be in one place and mingle" thats the WORST thing you could do.... Now maybe its my age or the fact that I'm NOT your typical female by any means (never have been LOL)..but if I want to hang with my friends on a weekend INSTEAD OF my man...he needs to SUCK IT UP...My relationships whether intimate or friendship are NOT my end all be all...I am a grown woman and have absolutely NO DESIRE to spend every waking moment with my S.O... As for the scenario you gave..He should do whatever it is HE WANTS TO DO...there shouldnt be any whining from the gf (she needs a life) or blackmailing from the friends (they need a life)....He is his own person..he should figure out for himself what he wants to do and JUST DO IT!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Feb 08
Very well said Raven! thanks for the response. I guess your position is right. maybe this kind of scenario happens more often to those couples who are not that mature enough to tell his life and his time from that of his SO. thanks for the thought! =)
@kiran1978 (4138)
• Australia
14 Feb 08
Unfortunately this situation has happened to me many times my friend have not liked my BF, for good reason too. I used to try and get both my friends and BF together in one place so we could all mingle. But eventually I gave up on that idea, as you can't change the way people think. We each have our opinions. It would be ideal if we could all hang out together. So I use to see my friends seperately, which meant less time with my friends. But I made sure I did not lose contact with my friends, as friends are important. SO my advice to you is comprimise, see both your friend and your girlfriend. Nothing wrong with seeing your friend for the day. Then the next day spend quality time with your girlfriend. So yes, of course your relationship can work.
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
hi kiran! thanks for the advice and the response! =) Good thing your relationship went good. =) It is indeed hard to fix their ideas and opinion about each other and sometimes it is really a tiring and stressful task. Thats why when one is in this situation, your advice is good. compromise. =)
@EvanHunter (4030)
• United States
13 Feb 08
WEll, I am certainly no one to give relationship advice after two failed marriages but I always feel that your other half should be your best friend therefore quality time with them should come first. If they arent your best friend than is it a real relationship or just company you enjoy for other reasons. Like I said I may be a bit too demanding and unrealistic so you should probly ignore my advice...lol.
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
hi evan! thanks for the response! I sure do believe that your significant other should be your bestfriend. In that way you dont only treat him/her as just your gf/bf but a person whom you trust,love and enjoy being with. That is why compatibility sometime is indeed very important. =) Hey you'll find that person - believe and it will happen! =)
@anonymili (3140)
14 Feb 08
It all depends on how serious your relationship is with your partner. Friends tend to stick around for life (if they're good friends) - boyfriends/girlfriends can come and go. I don't know how old your bf is but if he wants to spend time with his boys then let him go do that. Use that time to hang out with your girls! There is no law that says your bf or gf has to get along with all of your friends or that you have to get along with his pals. Men and women have different interests generally and if you try to spend 24/7 of your free time together it could end up being the downfall of your relationship. We don't need to live in each other's pockets, any time you spend together should be because you truly want to do so not because either of you is being pressured by the other. There is no point in being together if being together becomes a chore :)
@MGjhaud (20811)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
i have a boyfriend before that has no confidence of himself around people even around my friends. what i did was, i gathered all of those things that he like and my friends like and that's the time i join both parties. i admit it's really hard because it's one of those times in the world that you get to choose where to go or what to do.
@chrysz (1604)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
Time management could help you both, try to ask him to divide his time between you and his friends. If he cannot follow what you two had agreed upon, then ask him to choose between you and his friends. He must know that when he committed himself in a relationship, he had also promised the girl some time of his life. If you think that he cannot forsake his friends, then maybe its time to move on and find someone who would value you as you are worth.
@wisedragon (2331)
• Philippines
14 Feb 08
I would respect how they feel about each other. I wouldn't force them to be friends. I wouldn't demand that they get along. In fact I am more comfortable separating time for friends and time for love. When I'm with my friends I want to give them my whole attention, and the same goes for my significant other.
@a1intnet (249)
• Mauritius
14 Feb 08
I have almost firsthand experience of this kind of situation. Except it's not my BF. My 2 closest friends do not like each other. One is a guy and one is a girl. It was tough in the beginning but I made it clear to each of them that I was not willing to part with the others friendship. Now we all manage to get together and they are polite to each other for my sake - it makes me love them even more!! I think I would do exactly the same if it were a BF that my friends didn't like - unless of course they had good reason. But friends are really more important than any BF/GF - doesn't the saying go "BF's/GF's come and go while friends stay forever"?