Would You Avoid a Friendship

@carolbee (16241)
United States
February 15, 2008 8:11am CST
Would you avoid a close friendship with someone who was a different religion or race? I have a very dear friend who is a different religion and race than I am but this difference never blocked the formation of a close relationship. She's 7 yrs. younger than I am, we have many things in common and is exceptionally bright. I love her like a sister.
24 people like this
59 responses
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
15 Feb 08
Never! Good friends who are trustworthy and whom you enjoy your time with are too few and far between. One of my best friends is also a different race...we have so much fun together! She is also a different religion. And she is very religious...so we just avoid any confrontations about difference in beliefs and accept each other's ideas.
3 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
15 Feb 08
We don't talk about religion or race either. It's something that doesn't need to be discussed between us. We do have the same views about life and get along well. So you know exactly what I am talking about here since you also have a good friend who is a different race and religion. Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
15 Feb 08
No I would not avoid a friendship if someone was a different religion or race. And age should not make a difference either. I think thats wonderful you guys are such great friends. Good friends are hard to find.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
15 Feb 08
I had lunch today with a friend who is 5 yrs. younger than I am and also have friends who are 12 yrs. older. I wouldn't make it a steady diet to have lunch with friends who were alot younger and only because I might feel uncomfortable. I'm friends with everyone until someone "steps on my toes." Then it's adios for me! Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@SheliaLee (2738)
• United States
15 Feb 08
I agree with you, religion or race should never make a difference. If a person is a true friend these things should not make a difference. You can still talk and share things without having to bring these things up, especially if it causes a conflict.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
15 Feb 08
Like your response. Certain issues can be avoided. A friend is a friend is a friend in my opinion. Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (5801)
• United Kingdom
16 Feb 08
I would never deliberately avoid a friendship with anyone. Partly because I find it very difficult to make friends so I am grateful for those I have got! I currently don't have any friends of a different race but that's simply co-incidence. One of my best friends at school was of a different race and religion but we got on well with each other and as for us, that's all that mattered. I don't even know what religion some of my friends are (if any) because it doesn't really matter. I think if you're going to ge along with someone it will be because you enjoy each others company and because you think they are a nice person, I don't feel it has anything to do with anything else.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
16 Feb 08
I totally agree. I make friends with people who have the same interests as myself. Has nothing to do with race or religion. Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
17 Feb 08
There are plenty of people of the same race and religion as me who I would not want to be friends with because they are not very nice people.
@Darkwing (21588)
15 Feb 08
Nooooooo, of course not. We're all the same when it comes down to it, and in the name of friendship or love, should never even contemplate breaking a friendship for this reason. Besides, how would I know, if I didn't ask. It's not the sort of thing that's important enough to me to query. Brightest Blessings.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
15 Feb 08
I mentioned earlier that we are all God's children and everyone should respect each friend no matter what religion or race. The positive responses to this discussion have been great. Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@Darkwing (21588)
16 Feb 08
You're quite welcome. I support you, one hundred per cent on this. :)
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
15 Feb 08
No, I don't think that would stop me from being friends with someone. I think it's really stupid to be honest if someone were to avoid close friendships with someone of a different religion or race. It's a big loss really if they did.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
15 Feb 08
I think the reasoning behind racial or religion issues was more common many years ago. I do know one person in today's age who only prefers to make friends with her religion. That's not reality and it's not good. It's not healthy to raise kids in that kind of enviroment either. I agree with you, it's stupid. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@Tko2020 (266)
7 Mar 08
Good on you Carolbee, its time people start see people as Human beings like themselves, and not by definitions such as race or religion.
• Philippines
7 Mar 08
I don't think it will affect a friendship because you don't base your friendship on those aspects unless you're really really a religious conscious person. I would love to make friends with different kinds of people. If i could, I'd make friends with people from all over the world. =)
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
7 Mar 08
Like your way of thinking. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@anniepa (27238)
• United States
6 Mar 08
Good for you! I'd never avid a friendship for these reasons, just think what you could be missing as you obviously can attest. Annie
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
6 Mar 08
Exactly. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@Deea48 (1168)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I think that would just be so ignorant of me to do such a thing. I have always had a very diverse group of friends, some black, some native, some gay, some bi, some jewish,some catholic,some muslim. Now why would I want to live in such a closed world to of never of been friends with any of them, man I would of missed out on some great fun. I am quite sure life would of been very boring then.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
29 Feb 08
And you are exactly right. Diversity is great. Thanks for a good response.
1 person likes this
@Loen210 (1533)
• United States
29 Feb 08
I don't think I ever even thought of that! I grew up in a warm neighborhood in NY, and the races were so mixed, and religion, I never even paid attention what type you were. It was great. I had friends of all races, all religions, all shapes and sizes, different sexes, since coming into this world. I should thank my parents for being friends with so many too. :o)
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
29 Feb 08
Your parents taught you well. We have to give credit to our parents once in awhile..lol I do have a dear friend who is a different race and religion. Doesn't bother either of us. She's a close friend and will always be my friend. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Feb 08
hey i have been in this situation many times so people who belongs to my religion hates me because i make friends of poor religion or poor people too.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
27 Feb 08
Nothing wrong with making friends with everyone including different religions or races. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@bellaofchaos (11550)
• United States
18 Feb 08
No i wouldn't let that come between a friendship. Just because someone is a close friend doesn't mean that they have to be exactly like me. I love the differences me and my good friends have with out them life would be totally boring and I wouldn't be able to get different points from them. LOL!!
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I agree. Life would be boring without good friends. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
18 Feb 08
Of course not.what does friendship have to do with these insignificant factors? In our country there arE so many castes and communities which would just get your head spinning.Strangely I have close friends from different castes and communities and religions and no significan t friend from my own community though I am from a fairly orthodox community.[THIS IS JUSTBY WAY OF EXPLANATION because there are people who confine themselves to such groups.] Right from my school days I have different friends from diverse backgrounds and am very happy about this.. There has been nno communication bARRIER WHATSOEVER, BECAUSE NONE OF US TREAD ON THE OTHER'S TOE.Even WHEN IT CAME TO RELIGION WE USED TO SHARE OUR CUSTOMS AND BELIEFS IN A VERY OPEN MINDED AND UNOBTRUSIVE WAY.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Friendship to me has nothing to do with race or religion. I have a very close friend who is a different race. Way back in the early years it wasn't quite the same mindset. Thank you for the good response.
1 person likes this
@clowdine (1402)
• Philippines
18 Feb 08
Religion or race should not be a deterrent to friendship. I am a Christian and I have a Muslim friend. The only people I will not make friends with are the haughty, oppressive, bully, slanderers or those who do not know how to respect other people and those are too wicked.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I agree with you 100%. Thanks so much for your good response.
1 person likes this
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
16 Feb 08
Age, race and religion should not be the basis of friendship. Just like in love, your differences are what binds you. For me, its only when you reconcile differences that truly make your relationship a success. I have friends who are 10, 20, 30+ older than me and we are getting along smoothly. It all has to do with respect and acceptance to build a lasing friendship.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I agree age has nothing to do with a friendship and neither does religion or race. Thanks for responding.
@fec139 (803)
• United States
16 Feb 08
My life has been enriched by knowing people of many different ethnicities, religions, races, ages, and both genders. While there is something to be said for having commonalities between friends, and there are certainly times when we need to be with others of our own age, gender, religion,or even race or ethnicity. But we need to learn about others' ways of life. I have recently become close to someone from India who is Hindu. My world is so much better now that she is in it. Groups of people who refuse to associate with those who are "different" are only cheating themselves. Look how many more people you can meet if you widen your sphere of potential friends!
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Love your response. You are exactly right. Thanks so much for responding.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
16 Feb 08
Hi carolbee, We need more people like you in the world. No, of course it wouldn't make any difference. A person can't change their race and many have no desire to change their religion, anyway that's a very personal thing with most people. Blessings.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Thank you for the very kind compliment. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Feb 08
As far as race goes.. No I have not and would not ever not ever stop a friendship due to race. We have a mixed family african american,hispanic and caucasian so race is not an issue for us at all.lol. However, I can share with you from personal experience I had a dear friend that I grew up with since 15 yrs old and we were completely inseperable. We were still that close through most of my 20's and then as we grew older (she is 5 yrs younger than me)and as I found the Lord we grew further apart she grew closer to an athiest. It became increasingly harder and harder for our friendship to survive because the Lord was such a big part of our lives and she could not relate to that. I would never tell anyone who they can and cannot socialize with but I can share with you from personal experience on the religion/spirituality side of it...it does become more and more difficult as you grow spiritually. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I understand. Thank you for your response.
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
16 Feb 08
Even though your discussion is closed, carolbee, I had to put my two cents in. I have to ask myself when are people going to look at one another as people? Color should not enter into it, religion should not enter into it. I think it is fitting to quote something said by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., "...A man should not be judged by the color of his skin, but by the content of his character..." To me, that says it all.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
16 Feb 08
This discussion is closed? Hmmm, how did that happen? Didn't know discussions could be closed. Thanks for a very powerful response. Love it.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
16 Feb 08
No I wouldn't. I have plenty of friends that are different races and religions. I have never seen the point of doing such a thing based on either one of these. I wouild have no friends if I avoided friends this way.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
16 Feb 08
I wouldn't have many friends either if I based our friendship on religion or race. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this