how forgiving are you?

@winterose (39929)
Canada
February 17, 2008 12:21pm CST
during the course of my life I have met many people from very forgiving to not at all forgiving, some carried it to the extreme so much so that it was ridiculous. An woman that I knew (she has not passed away) never had a nice word to say about a certain man who was 20 years younger than her. So one time I asked her why she disliked this man so much. Now get this, the man at this time may have been about 40 years old. But he pulled her daughter's hair once when he was maybe 9 years old, and she had never forgiven him for it. To me that is totally ridiculous. HOw about you are you a very forgiving person or if somebody wrongs you once that is it the friendship is over?
8 people like this
21 responses
@Daniel_7 (91)
• Czech Republic
18 Feb 08
When somebody does a bad thing to me, I can get very angry with them... but if the person is a good friend of mine, then I usually forgive after while. But if it's somebody who I don't know that well, then it's more difficult for that person.
2 people like this
• India
18 Feb 08
I am a very forgiving person by nature. I don’t say I am proud of this, but rather I think I am too weak and lazy to carry on grudges. Most of the time I simply cannot be bothered to keep on thinking about the very many wrongs that so many people have done to me, willingly or inadvertently. And then I think life is too short and that I am not a judge of people. My hubby thinks I am a weakling, I don’t have a character or an ego and a person without an ego is not a human being. Well, I laugh it off too, coz I just cant argue…its such a waste of energy. But I do feel better after I have forgiven and forgotten and moved on.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39929)
• Canada
18 Feb 08
that is a great way to be
• United States
17 Feb 08
I am a forgiving person. I may not forgive right away but at the same time, It won't take 20 years either. That is just extremely too long, I mean get over it already. I know people in my family like that who are not forgiving, who lives in the past. To me, people like that are miserable. I don't want to be like that. How can you be forgiven if you can't forgive. We all have wronged someone either intentionally or not and we apologized for it and wanted to be forgiven. This person you know needs to let it go............ seriously!.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39929)
• Canada
17 Feb 08
she passed away
• Indonesia
25 Feb 08
I think I'm forgiving enough. But I'm not forgetting. I rarely forget other's mistake. It's not good actually. But, what to do? My memory is good in that particular thing ;-)
1 person likes this
• Canada
23 Feb 08
This woman's behaviour was extreme!! I am forgiving enough, but I'm not overly trusting. I have a certain comfort zone, and when someone goes beyond that, it's hard to trust that person in that situation. If someone goes beyond my trust zone in too many situations, then it's hard for me to trust that person at all. I do forgive, but I keep my guard UP and all times.
1 person likes this
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I try not to hold onto unforgiveness, the only person it really hurts is me if I do. Of course in life there are things that others do that are really hard to forgive, it takes a huge effort, but I don't like carrying around all that baggage. One thing I have learned is that forgiveness does not mean condoning something a person has done. And it doesn't mean that one has to continue to associate with someone, sometimes depending on the offense, it's better to walk away.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 08
I am a very forgiving person. I mean I feel like it is a waste of time to stay mad at someone because in the end we live our life bothered up by that one simple instance. That lady is to old to be disliking a child over child play. That is ridiculous, how does she plan on making it to heaven when God said forgive and forget? I mean people need to swallow their pride and grow up. I mean if someone wrongs me ofcourse I'll be hurt but I am a very forgiving person. So I maybe upset for a little while because I am human but after a while I will learn to forgive them I amnot going to let anger and some person stop me from living a happy life and miss my chance to go to heaven.
1 person likes this
@youless (87603)
• Guangzhou, China
18 Feb 08
It depends on. Sometimes the hatred will fade away as the time goes by. Besides, if this one has treated me nice after that and made an apology, then I shall forgive him/her.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
18 Feb 08
Well I have to say that is so childish and inmature That is not something that you can not forgive that was something that Children do when they have arguments Pulling her Hair is nothing This Woman is very sad if she is still holding this against the Lad
1 person likes this
@jcj_111776 (3221)
• Philippines
18 Feb 08
Normally, it only takes a few days for my anger to subside. Then the forgiving process for me starts. I don't make a habit of holding on to things that have made me mad because in the end, I'll only make myself sick. But from what you have told, now I agree with you. It was ridiculous to hold on to that kind of anger. But there was a time in my life when a dear friend betrayed me, and made me look bad to my brother. I wasn't only mad at him, but I felt so much hatred for him that I didn't speak to him for three long years. Eventually, that hatred and anger evaporated into nothingess, because I was able to forgive him and re-build our friendship again.
• United States
18 Feb 08
I never use to be able to forgive, but the better my relationship is with God, the more I forgive. I consider myself to be a descent person, but I did hold grudges back in the day. I suppose there are alot of people that way, glad I'm better than I use to be. :o)
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11195)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I can be very forgiving, but perhaps not so forgetting... though with my immediate family members I am not so good - I guess I feel more wounded by them. I am working on it as I think we should forgive instantly.
1 person likes this
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
18 Feb 08
Well its up to my understanding and how i evaluate things .
1 person likes this
@jason1287 (151)
• United States
18 Feb 08
i am completely unforgiving until somebody makes an effort to ask for forgiveness. once that happens i always accept their apology and forgive them.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32385)
• United States
18 Feb 08
I'm not like that. I give people several chances before I finally have to cut ties with them. I try to be their friend but they really don't even try to be mine. They use me for what they can get and then toss me to the side. I don't have friends because of this. I tried again last year to have a "girl" friend and now she won't even give me the time of day and I have no clue at all why other than I did not beckon to her every need like she wanted me to. She talked rudely to me and I put up with it without going off on her, but I tried to explain that I did not like to be treated that way, but it continued and now she don't come around at all. It is totally rediculous. I wouldn't want her to change for me. I accepted her like she was and tolerated, but no more.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 08
I am way to forgiving I just cannot seem to stay mad long.Sometimes I think I should stay mad longer just to make a point.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 08
Whoa, what a sad reason to dislike a person. Doesn't she realize that a person changes as they mature? I forgive many people for many reasons. But, I never forget. There have been people in my life who do me wrong. I pick myself up and hold my head high. I am not the one that did anything wrong. They have to live with it.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Hi Sweets, I think I'm a very forgiving person.I forgive others as much for myself as for them..To be mentally healthy I can not carry around grudges, hurt, blame...they are too heavy for me to handle. xoxoxoxoxo
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3817)
• United States
17 Feb 08
I think my problem is that I'm to forgiving. Now if the same person does me wrong more than a few times, it does become harder to forgive. Now forgiving and forgetting are two different things for me. I do find it hard to forget the people that have done me wrong. I think it's childish not to forgive a person over something so small as hair pulling 29 years ago. I just think there are more important things in life to think about.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Feb 08
I used to be very good at holing grudges, but it's alot easier to be forgiving. Not forgiving someone that you feel has wronged you, only makes things worse physically and mentally on yourself.
1 person likes this