I Am Drained

@Rozie37 (15503)
Turkmenistan
February 18, 2008 12:39am CST
Ever since my sister hit me with the crisis yesterday, I have been drained. Today, I was able to have a long talk with her and I found out why they are in such a hurry to move to Atlanta. My sister can no longer afford to pay the mortgage. Her husband use to own his own business(illegally, without a license) and was on SSI. Now he only gets SSI and for the first time, he really needs it, because of all of his illnesses. My sister hast to pay the mortgage, the bills, buy food, and everything else. Because the cost of living is cheaper in Atlanta, he wants them to move out there. But, my sister's job is out here with the city of Inglewood. She got the job whikle going to Community College. She went in as a temporary and they hired her, so she never went back to graduate. She is afraid to quit her job because they are already training her replacement and if things do not work out in Atlanta, she will come back to nothing. She is suppose to be leaving on the 25th and coming back to work on March 17th. But she may not be able to leave then, because the upstairs tenant is causing a problem. Yesterday when my sister went and spoke to the Sheriff, she found out that a law changed a year ago. The buyer hast to pay the tenant $17,000 if she does not want her to stay there. But the buyer refuses to deal with the tenant at all and is asking my sister to handle everything. But my sister is saying that she can not put the lady out even if she wanted to, it's not legally her place. The buyer wants her to go, so she hast to do it. In the meantime, the buyer is deciding and not actually buying, so my sister does not know when they will be leaving now. They have another offer, but this other lady is offering $63.000 less than the first lady. My sister says that the property is worth a million. I do not know what the first lady offered, but apparently it is closer to their asking price. Apparently, my brother-in-law has always dreamed of ling in Atlanta. My sister wishes he had decided this sooner. Instead of flying to Atlanta, he wants to drive, with six children, so they can see the world. It doesn't make any sense. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, heart failure, he smokes, and has a very bad temper, driving to Atlanta is not the brightest idea. He already refuses to eat right, all he needs is to be on the road eating fast food for a few days. I do not know why I am more stressed today, than I was yesterday. I was trying to read a good book and I could not concentrate. I finally got tired of reading the same thing over and over, so I quit trying.
7 people like this
8 responses
• United States
18 Feb 08
Rozie I am so sorry for all the things that are going wrong with your sister. I think that the new owners need to deal with the renter. I think your sister does not need the added stress. Rozie I think you need to sit down and pray for peace and guidance to help your sister. Good luck to all involved.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
18 Feb 08
I am going to have to pray for peace for me and her. Yesterday she was in such a panicked state, I had to keep telling her to calm down and pray. Then she said that she was trying to trust all of these people, I told her that she needed to trust God. I believe that this is the reason that she is having so much stress. God is teaching her to trust him and stop trying to trust that loser she is married to. I think that I was suppose to be the oldest and she should have been the baby. It is very hard for me to respect and look up to her at this point.
2 people like this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
18 Feb 08
That is a lot to deal with. i hope things get figured out for your sister and her brother in law.I pray that the right thing will happen for them all. I understand the stress I get steressed out over my little sister and her husband and my neice and nephew. I would go crazy if they moved out of town.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
18 Feb 08
It is my sister and her husband. I worry about my sister being out here with him. Leaving the state with that loser is just mad. I feel as though I am on the verge of losing it.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
18 Feb 08
I don't blame you I worry alot myself about my sister with my brother in law. i don't trust him espically after my 5 year old neice telling me last week about him chocking my sister. it worries me. Of course my sister says they were playing but I belive my little neice
2 people like this
@anniepa (27238)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Hon, I'm so sorry you're going through all this worry and stress. I know how worried you are about your sister and her family but I think you just have to try to stop getting yourself stressed out over it and just pray for the best and let your sister know that you're there for her if she needs you for love and support. Annie
3 people like this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Feb 08
I had prayed and mellowed out about everything, until she called me again. Now I will have to pray and give it over to God once more. It is just really hard for me when my family is hurting.
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Wow your sis sure does have her hands full, I can see why you would be worried about her. She has all that to deal with and then her husband. I would worry too and there is nothing you can do about it except keep praying for her and listening when she wants to talk. I guess it is different in Cal. your sister should be able to get the lady out. Previously you said she was renting month by month with no lease. Then I don't think your sis should have to pay her that money to have her move. I would tell your sis to contact an attorney or the landlord/tenent department for the city.The Sheriff might be wrong about some things. Your sis needs to know what her rights are. It sounds like this move all the way across the country is not planned out very good. I wish your sis and her family good luck, they are going to need it.
3 people like this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Feb 08
My sister went to the Sheriff and found out that the buyer hast to pay a relocation fee if she wants this lady out.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
19 Feb 08
AAAAARGH is all I can say about this whole mess and sorry to sound so mean Rozie. It does not sound like this whole thing of moving to Atlanta has been well thought out I'm sorry to say. She is giving up everything she has worked hard for because her lousy husband wants to move to Atlanta because its cheaper to live there? I doubt that very much. I think they are walking into more trouble and if they aren't able to sort the house situation out first before they even think of leaving, how are they going to survive in Atlanta. If he is so desperate to go to Atlanta now, have her send him on his own and she will follow AFTER everything is settled with the house. She can fly her and her kids to Atlanta and not drive there - what a nightmare that would be, unless they rented a RV. Poor kids!! I seriously don't know why they are rushing all of this instead of taking one step at a time and sorting all their commitments first before taking that giant leap to another country. Sounds ridiculous to me! GO and take a four hour bath like your neighbor or friend does upstairs. I'm sure that will help relieve some stress or just get away on your own for a bit and find something that you like doing! I'm praying for ya Rozie!
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Feb 08
I could not sit in a tub for four hours, to me, that is just a boring waste of time. I agree that neither one of them is good at planning. But, she is in a hurry because she can not afford to keep up with the mortgage and bills and everything. She is the only adult working in the house. One of the reasons that they are probably struggling is because the husband insist on allowing the kids to have all of their friends over and my sister feeds them too. When I was over for my birthday in August, there were like fifteen of their friends over. My sister said that it was like this all the time. She said she does not even know most of their names. But she is working to feed them. I would calmly say to them all, if I did not give birth to you, get out of my house and go home. The friends come and go, whenever they want to, boys and girls, and a lot of them stay the night whenever.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
19 Feb 08
I couldn't do that either, maybe for 30 minutes though. As for the kids staying over I would of put a stop to that a long time ago. That must be tough on her and her kids because maybe a lot of these other kids don't really have homes to go so they want to hang out at your sisters home. That's a lot to put up with and I'm sorry that she is going through all of this. I hope you were able to rest through all of this, seriously I don't know how you cope! HUGS
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
18 Feb 08
Rozie hon, I don't mean to sound nasty and unfeeling but girlfriend, you've got to start thinking about yourself for a change. Stop worring about other people and their problems and worry about yourself. You've helped your sister all you could, there's nothing else you can do so it's time to let go and let her deal with her own problems. As for her husband, he's a selfish idiot so if he wants to drive and take a chance on his health then by all means, let him. He's not your problem. You've made a point in telling him how you feel so it's up to him to do the right thing. You have to think about yourself some and now is the time. You've been so thoughtful and helped them all that you could now it's time to let their problems be THEIR problems. In other words, let go of it and let them handle it, otherwise you're going to run yourself into the ground and for what? It's just not worth it.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
19 Feb 08
I completely understand what you are saying. I know that my sister and her husband are both adults and that they have to live their own lives and that there is nothing I can do to stop them from doing stupid things. Last year, I swore that I was not going to get wrapped up in my sister's mess anymore, because it takes too much out of me. But this time, she caught me off guard. She sounded more upset than I have ever heard her and I was trying to tell her to calm down. There are three of us sisters. I am the very emotional one. She is the least emotional, so when she gets like that, I get scared. She is the one that allows pretends like her life is so normal and wonderful.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
19 Feb 08
Since she acts like this is normal for her life then you need to keep reminding yourself, "this is normal for her, this is normal for her" in order to keep yourself calm. I'm not saying wash your hands of her and her probelms but merely saying, let her problems BE her problems and not yours. You can help her all you can but only WHEN you can and not a minute sooner. You have to keep up with your own self and keep your own sanity and by doing so is to try to let it roll off of your back more often.
• Australia
24 Feb 08
I hope the situation is sorted out soon. It must be so hard for them knowing that all this is going on.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
24 Feb 08
My sister needs to trust God, instead of her husband.
@cefaz_21 (2597)
• Philippines
19 Feb 08
Hi Rozie! I hope your doing well now and rested. You're right, your sister have to trust God in all of this. I know easier said than done but God never fails those who look up on HIM. Hugs to you!!